


Remember Me

by cypheroftyr, psikitty



Series: A Promise Broken [1]
Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Inquisition AU, M/M, Tevinter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-03 01:09:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 69,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2832689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypheroftyr/pseuds/cypheroftyr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/psikitty/pseuds/psikitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorian's past comes back to bite him when the Champion arrives at Skyhold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The past never leaves you alone

Dorian Pavus, scion of his house, magister to be, mage of great talent, was rendered speechless. He had stepped out onto a balcony just off of the little corner he had claimed for himself, the one with a delightfully comfortable chair, well padded and broken in just enough to be comfortable, with tall bookshelves and a small window. No one bothered him much in his little spot, unless they needed a book, and then it was all awkward silences as mumbled words of apology as his space was invaded. But even in those random encounters he was always able to find something witty to say. He wouldn’t have lasted long during the social season of Minrathous if he didn’t know how to turn a phrase correctly. 

A glance out of his window (and he really did think of it as _his_ window) was all it took for words to be robbed from his lips. He stood so suddenly that the book he had been reading tumbled off his lap and onto the floor, half stepped on and completely forgotten as he raced to the door down the way from his spot and threw open the door to step outside into the chilly air. His hands fell onto the cool stone and his breath caught as he watched the inquisitor and Varric speak with two men. He could see them just across the way, one with his hair shorn almost to his scalp, a mage because who else would have an ornate staff at his back. But it was the other that’d had Dorian Pavus, the altus with the razor sharp tongue, staring dumbly.

“Fenris,” Dorian finally breathed. “Leto…” He would know that shock of white hair, that face, anywhere. 

But Fenris did not know him.

**

Fenris had bored quickly listening to Invictus and Varric catch up as if they’d not seen each other less than a year previous. “Vic, I’m going to take a walk, I’ll see you in our rooms. Do not get drunk with Varric, well not too drunk.” 

Vic leaned down to kiss Fenris softly, with a yes love before he went back to swapping stories of the last few months with his friend.

The elven fighter made his way into Skyhold, impressed by the improvements that the Inquisition had made, even down to the training area he’d noticed as they entered. He wandered freely until he found the stairs that led up towards the second level. It was there he nearly ran into the Tevinter mage.

Dorian schooled his features into something slightly amused. “My, my,” he all but purred. “Friend of Varric’s? Or at least that’s the rumor going around right now.” He took a small step back into his alcove.

Fenris glared at the man who stared at him like he was for sale again. “I’ve been known as a friend to the dwarf. Who might you be? You stare at me as if there’s a price around my neck.” 

“Do I?” Dorian mused. “I do apologize.” He gave Fenris a courtly bow. “Dorian Pavus at your service. But please make sure that service is nothing more than me standing around looking handsome. I’m afraid I’m not much good at anything else.” 

“Ah, Varric warned me of you. I doubt you’re good for much else besides a coat rack, or perhaps target practice? Those shiny buckles and guards would get you killed in moments otherwise.” Fenris snarled as he tried to place Dorian, but fell short.

“Well then, that’s why I hide behind large Qunari, Seekers, and Grey Wardens with big swords and shields. makes it less likely that I won’t have to test those buckles and guards.” He glanced down at himself. “But they did cost me a bit of coin in Minrathous. But you know how the Tevinter are, not very practical when it comes to these things.” 

It was surreal--this conversation, speaking as nothing had ever happened. A part of Dorian was screaming at Fenris, was screaming at them both. _Remember me!_ it shouted. But Dorian leaned against a bookshelf and gave Fenris a small grin filled with just enough amusement and ennui to disarm.

“So you’re a disgraced magister? Perhaps an Altus that fell off the social ladder and ran to the Inquisition in hopes you could redeem yourself? I know all about Minrathous, Dorian.” Fenris said as his brands lit across his body, his hands twitched with want as he kept still.

“I thought I heard a small touch of Tevene in your voice,” Dorian said mildly. “And you are so close, it would wound me if I cared anymore about it. Society in Minrathous had begun to bore me, so here I am, making a difference and all that. As to redemption, that would imply I had anything horrible in my past to need redeeming for.” HIs smile was light, but his eyes had sharpened as he watched Fenris. 

“Humble, as much as I’d expect from someone _up North_ ” Fenris sneered before he took in the mage’s appearance. Well built, clearly escaping Minrathous had done him good, but he was not going to be fooled by a winning smile and smooth words. That had cost him enough in his lifetime. “Anything else, Dorian?” 

“What brings you here? If I may ask,” Dorian said. If Fenris was willing to talk to him, then Dorian was going to keep speaking if it meant the elf would stay just a moment longer. “Has Varric persuaded you to our cause?” 

“I accompany the Champion, and we came at Varric’s request. Why have they not pitched you out on the cobblestones yet, if I may ask?” Fenris quipped in return

“Because it would make a horrible mess and the inquisitor, Lisbeth, actually likes me. Shocking I know, but it’s true, you can ask Varric, or if you want to ask the opinion of an honest man, then Commander Cullen. So you’re with the Champion of Kirkwall?” Something in Dorian’s heart seized at the question.

Fenris grinned deviously as he simply nodded yes, his expression turned almost gleeful as he noticed the change that came over the other man. 

That pleased expression wasn’t so much shocking as it was more disappointing and a bit painful. Dorian remembered that look all too well. He’d seen it on Fenris’ face before, but at the time it had not been directed at Dorian, but at one that Danarius had bid Fenris to kill. The magister had done it to drive home to Dorian just who Leto belonged to.

That remembered pain had Dorian become careless with his words. “One could do worse than the Champion of Kirkwall if they wanted to climb high in life.” 

“I suppose you’d know about riding someone else’s coattails, Pavus? If I recall, since you did not claim a title of magister, it means you never elevated beyond an Altus? Did I recall my hierarchy correctly, serah?” Fenris asked as he glanced at Dorian, then turned to peruse the books behind him as if the mage were nothing but a pest.

“You recall correctly, Fenris. I am a humble Altus who but awaits a marriage to some woman who is no doubt a cousin of mine and my father’s death to gain my true place in Tevinter society. Whyever would I think that riding coattails would be preferable to that? Besides, the inquisitor has excellent taste in robes and at least those coattails are well made.” 

Some of Leto was still in there, Dorian could see it in the way the elf bantered, quick witted and sharp. Dorian had missed these conversations with him, the give and take of someone who wasn’t afraid of him, or wanted to play the game of politics. 

“Seeing as you’re here, I supposed Thedas is safe from the ascension of yet another man with more power than sense. Tell me how do you fare without slaves to attend your every whim? I’d have thought you’d have a retinue with you, so far from home.” Fenris grinned maliciously as he let himself enjoy the battle of wits, something he’d missed during his travels with Hawke.

Dorian sighed as if put upon. “It has been a trial, I assure you. Why the first time I had to wipe my own ass I was nearly inconsolable. This was after failing to do it properly three times. As I said, I really am quite useless. But I do bring a pretty face to the inquisition.” 

“I’m sure the remaining slaves are grateful to be short a master, especially one as yourself. I’m surprised you have not perished from the cold of the South. Perhaps it can be arranged, I hear the Storm Coast has weather that would suit that purpose, Altus Pavus.” Fenris folded his arms, leaned back against the bookcase and enjoyed the look of horror on the other man’s face as he toppled some books from a lower shelf.

Dorian clucked his tongue as he bent down to put the books back on the shelf. “Careful, Leto. Skyhold doesn’t have much in the way of entertainment except for these books and watching our Inquisitor and the commander pretend no one knows they are together.” 

The fighter slammed Dorian against the shelf hard enough to rattle some of the heavier books, his voice a low snarl. “What did you call me?”

Fear crawled up Dorian’s spine. It wasn’t a fear of Fenris, but more of how his single slip could ruin everything. 

“Fenris,” he said, and tilted his chin up. “There’s no need to grab me you know. You might not approve of my clothing, but I quite like it and don’t wish them ripped.” 

“What, did you call me?” the elf repeated angrily.

“Fenris.” Dorian licked lips suddenly gone dry. The two men stared at each other, closer than they had been in years.

 _This isn’t how I wanted this to be,_ Dorian said to himself. 

But how else could it have ever been?

“You said Leto, I know what I heard. Who are you? How do you know that name?” Fenris demanded as he rattled Dorian again.

Dorian gritted his teeth. “Let me go,” he replied in Tevene. “I am Dorian of House Pavus. An Altus formerly of the Tevinter Imperium. Currently of the Inquisition and being manhandled by you is not part of my job description.” 

Fenris released him, a snarl of disgust on his face. “Giving me your name and house means nothing to me. How do you know that name, my...name?” the elven warrior’s voice hitched slightly as he tried to keep himself calm.

Dorian straightened his clothes in a bid for calm and to give him a moment to collect himself. “Maybe I heard someone mention it. Most rumors in Skyhold make their way to me eventually.”

“Liar, there a handful of people who know that name, the story...what happened to me. So you get one more chance before you get to see what I can do with the gifts granted to me by my old master, Danarius.” Fenris’ hands clenched into fists as he waited to see what other tales the Altus would tell.

Dorian absently smoothed his mustache, a habit he had when thinking. He waved his hand. “I knew you… before those gifts were given to you. But that was a long time ago now.” Other men might have avoided Fenris’ gaze, but Dorian stared right at him.

“So you used that against me? Knowing that you knew me from before? Typical of your ilk.” Fenris wasn’t sure if he wanted to punch Dorian or ask him everything he knew of him from before the markings. It was one of the few things Hawke couldn’t give him, no matter how he tried. 

“It was long ago,” Dorian repeated. “And we are different men now. What is typical of my ilk or yours is something neither of us know anymore.” 

“How long? I...I don’t, I…” Fenris stumbled over his words, anger and shame warred with a need for lost knowledge.

“Sixteen years ago,” Dorian answered. “We were both young.”

Fenris closed his eyes briefly, as he tried to add up the years. "I've no clue what that means, in terms of who I was then"

If Dorian was a more grasping, scheming man, he would have told Fenris just what it had once meant. But he had an unselfish streak in him, very unmagister like, and not all becoming of the House of Pavus.

“It means I bought pastries from your mother a few times and we chatted once or twice,” he said instead. 

"Lies, you would not remember me if that was the case," Fenris replied as he glared at the man before him. 

The elf paced around Dorian slowly, his patience thin as he tried to keep his hand out of the Altus' chest. "The truth, give it to me."

“Would you believe any truth I chose to give you?” Dorian asked simply. “We no longer know each other, Le--Fenris. I could know you from any number of ways, some of them not pleasant. Some things are better left off in the past.” 

"Typical...to dangle the truth then snatch it away like cat toying with its meal." Fenris snarled as he turned to leave in order to find Hawke and bottle of that rot Varric called good drink.

 _You and I were never typical, Leto._ But Dorian kept his mouth shut and gave the elf a deep bow.

"Should you find a scrap of honor, and your memory ask Lady Montilyet where our rooms are." Fenris refused to return the bow, his gait stiff as he hurried away from the other man.

“If I could find a scrap of my honor, then I would’ve left Minrathous a long time ago,” Dorian whispered to himself. 

**

The dinner that evening, for all that it was awkward, was not the most tense one Dorian had ever been a part of. He had once witnessed a magister perform blood magic by slaughtering a slave right on the table centerpiece, what had once been a find confection of imported lilies from Orlais.

Dorian had hated lilies ever since. 

He played his part well, as he always did when confronted with something he would rather not--the gregarious man with a touch of ennui, or it was less a part he played, and more an aspect of himself that he let shine through. 

The others were excited to meet the Champion of Kirkwall and the elf Fenris. They had heard so many stories, most of which had been told and, in all probability, embellished by Varric.

Dorian wasn’t the most popular of Lisbeth’s companions, so he kept most of his remarks to those not qunari, elf, templar, or those who just outright disliked people who had been born into privilege. 

That shortened the list of who he spoke to considerably. 

It wasn’t often that most of them ever got to have a magister alone and unwilling to fight with more than words. He knew what his kinsmen were and had been capable of, so he didn’t quite blame them for taking a chance to get their digs where they could. Maker knew that Dorian did the same. Just because he loved his country, didn’t mean he was blind to the darkness and corruption in it. 

His eyes flicked over the rim of his wine glass to Fenris while he listened with half an ear to a bit of gossip from Josephine. 

The elf noticed that Dorian's gaze had fallen on him, his own sharpened as he glared at him. "Something on your mind, Altus?" Fenris asked too casually. 

Vic glanced between them then over to Varric, unsure what had happened so soon after their arrival.  
“I was just thinking that with Josephine's connections in Antiva, our wine selection has improved considerably.” Dorian raised his cup to the woman in question.

“Though I’m sure nothing will ever be as well received as a bottle of Aggregio Pavali, will it Dorian?” Fenris smiled as if he merely discussed the weather, instead of baiting the mage across from him.

“Love...do you know him somehow?” Vic asked as he leaned in to refill their goblets.

The only sign that Dorian was affected was the bobbing of his throat as he swallowed. “We both lived in Minrathous, Champion, we did run into each other once or twice.” 

That word ‘love’ almost had shattered Dorian’s composure completely, but his eyelids lowered slightly, giving him a slightly indolent look. 

“So he claims, however he knows more of me than he wishes to tell.” Fenris replied acidly as he deliberately turned to kiss Vic on the lips before giving Dorian his attention again.

Lisbeth glanced from the elf to her friend. “What’s going on, Dorian?”

“I think there’s a story here,” Varric announced.

“Nothing to tell, I assure you,” Dorian said.

“Lies will get you nowhere, Pavus.” Fenris replied in Tevene before he leaned back with glass in hand to see how the Altus would respond.

Invictus knew what had been said, but he remained quiet and content to let Fenris handle things. He knew he’d get the full story once they were alone.

“Lies are the currency of Minrathous and get one everywhere, Fenris.” Dorian didn’t bother to respond in Tevene, letting the whole table understand him. 

Both Josephine and Leliana exchanged a look and then sat back to watch the game being played right before them at the table. 

“Clearly your balance has run low if you’ve wound up here, instead of under your father’s thumb and in your proper place as the good son. Unless of course, you told the wrong tale at the most inopportune time, Altus Pavus.” That malicious little grin Fenris got when he was fully into the argument came back as he awaited Dorian’s response.

At the mention of his father, Lisbeth reached over to place a hand on his. Dorian’s eyes slid over to her and he gave her a small shake of his head, moving his hand out from under her fingers. 

“Ah well, one can’t always tell the right tale at the right time. There are some tales that aren’t worth telling and should best be left alone.” Dorian raised his glass to Fenris in a small toast and took a sip.

“What is going on?” Cullen whispered to Lisbeth a bit too loudly. He used the opportunity to get closer to her. The commander of the Inquisition forces still liked to pretend that no one knew about him and the Inquisitor.

“I’m not quite sure,” she told him.

“Like the one you dangled in front of me like bait?” Fenris laid it out finally, his grin sharp and his eyes dark with fury. “Or perhaps the ones that my master told me about the deviant Pavus boy that would come to a bad end one day? Guess he was right.”

Invictus glanced over to the others, his expression tense as he wondered what in the Void Fenris was up to.

Dorian sucked in a sharp breath and rose to his feet, his chair scraping loudly on the floor. “Deviant?” Dorian hissed.

“Dorian, no.” Lisbeth reached for his arm, but he shook her off, his composure finally shattered. 

“Danarius was one of the most powerful magisters in Tevinter. I don’t think he had any right to be calling someone else deviant, Leto. One doesn’t rise that high without spilling the blood of children or making deals with demons.” 

The air seemed to have been sucked out of the room.

“Oh, no,” Varric whispered, realization setting in. “You knew him before…”

The only reason Fenris didn’t take Dorian’s heart at the table was because Invictus grabbed him around the waist as he tried to vault over the table. “You don’t get to call me that name, no one does. Leto is dead and gone.” the elven warrior snapped as he tried to get out of his lover’s arms. 

“Love...please, don’t do this. Whatever he’s taunted you with, it’s not worth this spectacle.” Invictus whispered in the elf’s ear.

“Let me go, I need to go Vic.” Fenris relented.

“A fact that I am completely aware of. I told you to let this go. No good will come of it and you will not like what you find.” Dorian snatched up a wine bottle and a glass. 

“I hope your stay in Skyhold is more pleasant, Ser Fenris.” He turned to leave the hall. He had an evening of getting good and drunk to look forward to.

“Serrah Hawke,” Lisbeth said. “I can’t have guests threatening my friends like this.” 

“Apologies Inquisitor, we will retire and spare you any further embarrassment.” Vic reluctantly let Fenris go, with the hope he wouldn’t have to save the other mage’s life a second time that night.

Fenris gave a shaky apology to them before he left hurriedly towards what he hoped where their rooms. 

**

The next morning found Dorian in his corner by the bookshelves, sitting in his chair and cradling his aching head in his hands. 

Lisbeth crouched in front of him and began to heal his hangover. “I’m not good at healing, but I can do this.”

“And may Andraste bless you for it,” Dorian groaned. He sighed in relief and lifted his head.

“Talk to me, Dorian,” she said softly. “What happened last night?”

“I got drunk off of some excellent wine,” he said. 

She scowled and smacked him on his shoulder. “Not that and you know it. Tell me how you know him.”

“I can’t,” Dorian told her, his voice filling with anguish. “Leave this one thing alone, Lisbeth. I know how you like to get involved.

“Dorian…” she chided.

“I loved him once,” he gritted out, the words pulled from him. “some days I don’t think I ever stopped. 

**  
Fenris had been awake for a few hours, but had refused to get up when Vic had risen. He remained under the pile of blankets, oddly quiet and curled up as he considered whether to bother with breakfast. 

“Fenris, whatever this Dorian did to you in the past, don’t let him push you back into that dark hole again. He’s not worth it and I’m going to be sure he knows better than to bother you.” Invictus paused for a reply, some indication that his lover had heard him but got nothing. He pulled his tunic on with a sigh, unsure if the elf would even eat unless pushed.

Fenris turned over and glanced at Vic, his expression tired. “He knew me from before, dangled that like bait in front of me then said it wasn’t important. Not to him, but you know how I feel about this Vic.”

There was a sharp knock on their door. “Broody? Hawke?” 

Fenris made a disgusted noise, and pulled the covers over his head.

Hawke let Varric in with a nod of his head towards the bedding and the elf-shaped lump under it. “Morning, surprised you climbed up here to get us personally.” Vic tried to not sound tired but failed as he took a seat to get his boots on.

“After last night, I thought it best to make sure that the elf wasn’t hiding.” Varric gave the elf shaped lump a significant look. “Seems I was right in coming.”

Fenris sat up to glare at their dwarven friend. “You could have saved the trip up here. I’m fine.” 

Vic paused and glanced at the warrior. “You are not fine, fine wouldn’t mean making a nest of the bed and refusing to get up.”

“Fine wouldn't mean yelling at your friends.” Varric thought about it for a moment. “But for you I guess that does mean you’re fine. Huh…” 

“What did you come up here for?” Fenris snapped as he threw the covers off and headed for the wash basin.

“To bring you down to breakfast,” Varric said simply. “Josephine went to a lot of trouble to plan out every meal while you’re both here, and I don’t want Ruffles to feel disappointed.”

He paused. “Plus I was worried about you.” 

“Very well, Lady Montilyet has done me no wrong. I cannot guarantee what will happen should I run across Dorian however.” Fenris got ready quickly, annoyed with the silence that followed his words.

“As to that, the Inquisitor is on it. She is going to try and persuade him to tell you everything he knows. She’s a bit of a do-gooder and a meddler, but we love her anyway.” Varric moved to the door. “I’ll see you both downstairs then.” 

“Lovely, one of the things I did not miss about our group of friends. I don’t need someone to coddle me and make things better.” Fenris threw his gauntlet across the room when he fumbled with the straps one time too many.

Vic got the offending piece of armor, quietly buckled it on and then the other. “People do things like that because they are nice love. Remember, we’re the outsiders here. They’ve got an established friendship with everyone but we’re new, unknown except in the ridiculous tales told by bard and legend. Please, don’t kill anyone. I’d like to come back and visit once this is over.” 

"No guarantees Vic, let's just go." Fenris said tiredly

**

“I can’t do this, Lis,” Dorian told her quietly as they waited for their guests. This time the dining hall was clear except for the two of them.

“He deserves to know,” she whispered back. “How would you feel if you couldn’t remember someone? Wouldn’t you want to know?” 

“I have the opposite problem.” Dorian sipped at his tea. “I have too much I can’t forget.”

Fenris entered after Invictus, and tried to keep calm when he saw Dorian with the Inquisitor. He sat and waited for their meal rather than engage the other man, especially since they’d wound up next to each other somehow.

Invictus silently begged for a quiet start to the day before he gave the Inquisitor a grin. “Morning, I take it your day has started off well?”

“Very well,” Lisbeth said with a warm smile. “I hope you both slept well.” 

Dorian acted as if what had happened the night before had never occurred. he ate his breakfast and listened to Lisbeth and Invictus’ conversation intently, as if they were relaying important details and not small talk.

Well as could be expected." Fenris replied tersely before he felt a pinch to his thigh. "Very well, Inquisitor" he amended with a dirty look for his lover.

"It's nice to sleep in a real bed for a change, well a nice bed. Thank you for having us until you're ready to meet my contact." Vic replied with all the manners drilled into him.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you wish,” Lisbeth assured him. “The Inquisition would welcome both of you.”

Dorian set his tea cup down slowly and gave Lisbeth an incredulous look. “I take back what I have said in the past. Your kindness will not be the death of you, but of me.” 

Fenris didn’t rise to the mages’ bait, the only sign he was bothered was the odd little smile that had crept over his face as he tried not to further embarrass Vic. 

Dorian ticked off names on his fingers. “The Iron Bull barely tolerates me. Sera and Blackwall think I am spoiled.” 

“Which you are,” Lisbeth interrupted.

“Which I am,” he agreed. “But that is neither here nor there. “Leliana, Cullen, and Cassandra are just waiting for me to turn on you. Solas acts as if I represent all of Tevinter and treats me as such, Cole--”

Lisbeth place her hand on his arm. “I thought you didn’t care what anyone thought of you.”

“I don’t… But your continued defense of me will only make things harder on you.”

“You have proven yourself to me, Dorian.” She glanced at Hawke and Fenris. “And I meant what I said. The Inquisition would be glad to have both of you join us.” 

“That is not my decision to make, Inquisitor. If you will excuse me, I wish to avail myself of your training grounds.” Fenris rose quickly without so much as a glance at Dorian or the others at the table, save Invictus.

‘Please wait,” Lisbeth asked. “Dorian has a few things he wishes to tell you.” 

“Wish is a strong word, Inquisitor,” Dorian muttered. He winced when she kicked him under the table.

Fenris stilled but did not turn. “Is that so, Altus Pavus?” he replied.

Dorian kept his eyes on Fenris’ back. The elf deserved to not have him look away, even if Fenris couldn’t see it. “We met when we were both sixteen in Seheron. My family had a villa there and we went sometimes during the winter. Your mother belonged to a man who owned a bakery, but everyone knew it was really her and your sister that ran the place.”

“Is that all?” Fenris asked as he turned to face the mage head on. If they were to clear the air, he wouldn’t give him his back.

“What do you know of how you came to be a slave of Danarius?” Dorian asked. 

Fenris blinked as he recalled the conversation with Varania, brief as it had been before she fled from him. “I’d rather not continue this in front of everyone. Vic, madame Inquisitor do you mind giving me ...space to talk with him?” 

“Not at all, feel free to use our rooms. I won’t be far from you.” Invictus kissed him on the cheek before he not so subtly tried to clear the room.

“As you wish, my heart.” Fenris answered dully. He remained where he was, unwilling to take his gaze off the Tevinter mage in front of him.

 _My heart._

Once Leto had said that to him, but he wasn’t Leto anymore, and nothing was going to change that.

 _Just give him what he needs_ , Dorian thought to himself. _Anything more is useless now._

“Here or in your chambers?” Dorian asked instead. 

“Chambers, otherwise someone may walk in.” Fenris led them back up the winding stairway back to the room he’d just left a scant hour before. He poured himself some wine, then nudged the bottle and glass towards Dorian so he could get his own. 

“No… I learned my lesson with wine last night, and although Lisbeth has an unfortunate tendency to like me, I don’t think she’d want to heal another hangover so soon.” He didn’t sit, unwilling to do so unless Fenris did it first. He wanted to not have any sort of magister - former slave dynamic for this talk, it was going to be hard enough as it was. 

“As you wish, I need more than just tea for this” Fenris finally sat down, his gaze on the dark stone table as he retold Varania’s words to him, and how he’d refused to believe it for a long time. “So I asked for these, as a boon to free my family and look what it got me.”

Dorian took a seat across from Fenris. “Your life stolen from you. But you seem to have forged a new life for yourself, with a man who loves you.” The words felt like lead in his throat, but he wouldn’t begrudge Fenris being with someone who gave him happiness.

“I know that, what I need to know is how we knew each other. I doubt you’d remember some boy that was a slave otherwise.” Fenris’ voice was pitched low, hard as he awaited a truth he likely would regret hearing later.

“We were friends. I met you going to your mother’s bakery. I didn’t lie about that. I was a magister’s son, and you were a slave. But we became friends regardless. For a whole winter we were together almost every day. Until…” Dorian desperately wished for that drink now.

“Until I told you of the tournament that would free your family.” 

“Did you at least try to talk me out of it?” Fenris asked.

Dorian let out a bark of bitter laughter. “Oh, no. I encouraged it. I gave you the coin for passage to Minrathous so you could join it. Danarius might have dangled the carrot, but I pushed you towards it.” 

"I see." Fenris took the rest of the glass down, and reached for the bottle instead.

“Do you?” Dorian inquired. “I lost my friend the day you won the tournament. I consigned you to a void you had no idea you had been walking into.” Dorian leaned across the table. “I didn’t know the winner was going to be exempt from the boon. I thought… I thought all three of you would be able to be freed.”

Fenris laughed bitterly at the mage’s words. “Well, you can see for yourself that was a lie.” he glanced at Dorian then back to the fire. "What were we to each other? You would not remember me, or look at me as you did if it were merely friendship.”

“Friends,” Dorian insisted. “I have more than earned your hate, Fenris. Do you know what your last words to me were? The last thing you said to me before you forgot me entirely?” 

“That was not of my own choosing, you well know that.” Fenris pitched the emptied bottle into the fireplace with a growl. “Clearly I don’t remember, so enlighten me.”

“What has magic touched that it has not spoiled?” Dorian answered in Tevene. “That’s when I fully realized that I was the one who had done this to you.” 

“I’ve repeated that often enough, sadly.” Fenris scrubbed a hand over his face tiredly before he turned to Dorian. “Anything else? If not, I’d rather be alone.”

“I can tell you things about your childhood, your family. But there is nothing else.” Dorian got to his feet. “If you wish to know, you can ask anyone where to find me. I am always in the same place.”

“Very well…” Fenris stared into the fire, his gaze unfocused as he considered the mage’s words. “thank you, you don't have to tell me anything.” he said as he heard Dorian head for the door.

“Don’t thank me,” Dorian told him. “This was my doing.” 

“I’ll see you later, Pavus.” Fenris replied as he stared at nothing.

The door opening and closing was his only reply.

**

Fenris didn’t come down for lunch, but later he sought out the Qunari fighter Varric had told him about. He watched as The Iron Bull sparred with one of his men, his gaze critical as he watched them train.

The Iron Bull glanced up, spotted Fenris, and in that moment, let his guard down. His sparring partner rushed him and knocked him on his ass to the laughter of his men.

“Yeah, yeah, you got lucky,” the Qunari groused while he got to his feet. 

“Luck for him means your head would be halfway down the road if that was a real weapon. Are you always so easily distracted serrah Bull?” Fenris asked as he unsheathed his weapon.

“Maybe if I like what I see,” Bull said with a crooked grin. 

“I see...well perhaps I can disabuse you of that idea and take you down in front of your men? If you don’t mind sparring?” Fenris gave Bull a lazy smile as he circled the tall Qunari.

“Kreme,” Bull announced to the one he’d been sparring with, ”give this man your sword.” He tilted his side to the side when Fenris drew closer. 

“I’ve seen you somewhere before.” 

“ _Ebala Maraas. Ben'dar Seheron-asit_?” Fenris asked in Qunlat while he declined Krem’s offer of a sword.

“You speak my language,” Bull said with a grin. “And yes… It would’ve been in Seheron. In fact... “ He raised his large hammer to bring it down in a strike.

Fenris blocked the swing with his own two-hander. “Is that were you hail from?” he slid back from the impact of Bull’s blow, but he grinned as he came around for his own hit

“I am Ben Hassrath, so yes,” Bull replied, looking more than a little impressed. “Most people would have been flat on their ass by now.” He blocked the strike, and felt the impact reverberate up the shaft of his hammer. 

“And most cannot hit like that. You have exceptional strength.” 

“I’m not most men.” Fenris grunted before he pivoted to counter his earlier strike.

Bull was almost to slow to block it. “Fog Warrior fighting techniques,” he observed. “But the strength is…”

“...unnatural” Fenris finished for him as he tried to block Bull’s next attack. 

“The Ben Hassrath know of only one elf who can do those things… I had not realized that he had survived. But this does make Danarius’ death in Kirkwall more understandable.” 

“It wasn’t slow enough.” Fenris snarled before he attacked again.

“Oh definitely,” Bull agreed as he blocked strike after strike. It didn’t escape his notice that he was being pushed back, but he couldn’t stop it without leaving himself open. 

“Now that I think about it, I’m a bit surprised you didn’t kill the Vint'. Woulda saved us all a lot of trouble if someone else could do it.” 

“The thought crossed my mind.” Fenris pivoted on his heel so he could try to get the Qunari down with a Whirlwind strike.

The flurry of blows slammed into Bull and he teetered backwards before falling on his ass again to the same sound of laughter. 

“Yeah, yeah! But this time it was skill wasn’t luck,” Bull called out and held his hand out to clasp Fenris’.

“Nice to spar with someone who knows what they’re doing. You ever wanna kill that fucking Vint, you can count on me to help ya. Didn’t give a shit about him at first, but he’s gotten too close to Lisbeth. I think he might try to seduce her in one way or another.” 

“That’s not what’s happening, Bull,” Kreme sighed.

“Can’t trust ‘em, Kreme. You know that.” 

“I’m a Vint,” he replied, shoving a thumb at his own chest.

“Yeah, but you’re not a mage, are you? Makes all the difference to them.” 

“I’ve got my own reasons to kill him, your own slights notwithstanding.” Fenris helped the warrior up and gave him a bow of respect. “Good fight, if you want to go again, I’d be happy to oblige.” 

“You and Hawke going to join us?” Bull asked. He planted the butt of his hammer on the ground. 

“Not my decision to make, I guess we’ll see what happens after he finds his warden contact.” Fenris frowned slightly at the marks in his weapon. “What’s that hammer of yours made of? Takes a lot to scratch starmetal.”

“Pure Iron Bull greatness,” Bull replied. 

“It’s made from starmetal too,” Kreme sighed. “Inquisitor Lisbeth gave it to him. The big idiot likes to pretend that the damage it does is all him.” 

“Intriguing, I didn’t think it was easy to find outside of areas of Ferelden.” Fenris sheathed his weapon before he glanced up at the sun. “We’ve been at it a while, almost time for the dinner bell.” 

“Going at it for a while is what I do best,” Bull said with a grin. “You and Hawke ever want to find out just how--”

“Please stop,” Kreme pleaded.

“Again, not my sole decision. You can try to proposition if you want, it might not end as you like. I’ll see you later Bull, Cremesius.” Fenris waved as he headed in for a wash and hopefully dinner.

“See,” Kreme said. “he knows how to pronounce my name right.” 

“Vint names never make any sense. Kreme sounds much better.” 

“And Qunari are named after their jobs. How does that make any more sense?” Kreme scoffed.

**  
Dorian moved away from the balcony where he had been watching Fenris and Bull sparring. He hadn’t lied to Lisbeth when he had once told her that it took a lot to get under his skin. One had to have a thick skin in order to survive Minrathous. But that didn’t mean each example of just how much Fenris hated him, and just how dead and gone Leto was, didn’t hurt him, squeezing his heart painfully. 

**  
Fenris felt better after a hot bath, and the chance to spar with Bull before he sought out Hawke for dinner. He found his lover deep in conversation with Inquisitor Trevelyan, their voices loud enough to carry through the thick wooden doors of the war room.

“I understand that you are distrustful of him, but he’s my friend. You don’t know Dorian like I do, Serrah Hawke. I want you and Fenris to join the Inquisition, and your past experience with distrusting certain mages is understandable, but…” 

“It’s not mere distrust, Inquisitor. It is about my lover, the other half of my heart being hurt by your friend. Anders actions are not the only reason for my ...feelings on the matter.” Vic stabbed a marker into the map with more force than was needed but it felt good to get that out of his system.

Lisbeth pressed her lips into a thin line. There was going to be no happy ending for Dorian with this, no matter what he did. It hurt her that she felt that she had to sit by and watch it happen. She couldn’t help him like she had with his father. While there were those at the keep that knew she had gone with him to meet the magister, no one but Lisbeth and Dorian knew what had gone down during that meeting. She had promised Dorian never to speak of it, and she would hold onto her word. 

“Dorian has my complete trust. If he has hurt Fenris, then that was not his intention. I just don’t wish this to be the reason you might decline my offer to join us.” 

“Leave that be Inquisitor, I will not have this be a sticking point between us. Nor is it your affair to meddle in, nor mine. If you will excuse me, I think I’ve had enough tactical talk for the day.” Vic straightened from the table with a grimace. He was never one for a lot of chat, he preferred to act.

“Thank you for your input, Champion,” she said with a small bow of her head. “I’ll send scouts out in the morning.” 

“Most welcome, I’ll see you for dinner.” Vic opened the door just as Fenris had raised his hand to knock. “Hello love, sorry to have kept you waiting.” 

“It’s fine, I’d hoped to find you in time for dinner but it’s earlier than I thought. I think a nap is in order, care to join me?” Fenris leered at Vic, eager for time alone.

“Perhaps after dinner? I need to do something besides stare at a map for hours and plan things. We can simply retire early, and maybe scandalize some of our new friends.” Vic tugged at Fenris’ hand as he headed out of Skyhold’s main hall.

**

When the first flash of light flared in the corner of his eyes, Dorian didn’t pay any attention to it. He flipped the page of Hard in Hightown, his lips twitched in amusement. 

“Naughty, naughty Donnic,” he murmured. “I…” 

He frowned when he realized that he shouldn’t be seeing any light at all, and that he wasn’t in Minrathous where displays of magic were common place. He glanced out of the small window near his chair and looked down at the practice yard. Invictus Hawke whirled his staff above his head and slammed the butt of it down on the ground, sending flames racing along the scorched earth towards a set of practice dummies. 

“Well now… That’s just offensive. Who taught him to cast like that?” Dorian asked himself. He drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair as he watched Vic cast spell after spell, the Tevinter mage growing agitated. 

“How did he survive casting like that?” Dorian pushed to his feet in exasperation. 

This was going to be a mistake, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.

**  
Hawke didn’t hear the other mage approach, but felt his power thrum against his own. Vic whirled around, staff in hand and flames around his hands.

Dorian stepped up, but made sure he was a certain distance away from Hawke. He held his staff out so that Invictus could see it. “Too much movement makes it so you are wasting energy. Watch.” 

His own movements with the staff were more precise, so when his staff struck the ground, the flames arced a little bit stronger and cleaner. 

“You’re very strong, and I can see why you did all the things no normal mage could have, but you….” Dorian waved his free hand as he tried to find the right word. 

“But what?” Vic snarled as he banked his power.

“Your spells are a mishmash of several different schools of training. I can even see Imperium fighting style. The rest of Thedas might not want to admit it, but when it comes to magic, Tevinter Circles do know how to fight better than the Chantry Circles.” He gave Hawke a considering look.

“But you are not quite Circle trained either. As I said, a mishmash of skills. You need to learn how to focus and not waste movement. It will make your already considerable power, more dangerous.” 

Vic laughed as he twirled his staff around slowly, his gaze on the other mage. “Of course, you’d think you can teach me something. This will be good.”

“In a fight between the two of us, you would easily beat me,” Dorian told him. ”But not because you are the better fighter, but because you are stronger. I’ve been fighting magical duels in the streets of Minrathous since I was a teenager. I know how to size a man up.” 

“Oh do tell me, Dorian how you’ll help my technique? You think you can teach me something useful, the Champion?” Vic scoffed at the other man, his expression haughty as ever as he called flame to his free hand, eager to fight.”

“I did not come here to duel you, Hawke.” Dorian took a step back. 

“Then what do you think you’re going to do here Pavus?” Vic snapped as he let his power run over his hands, pool around him as he awaited the other mage’s next move.

“I’m starting to ask myself that same question,” Dorian murmured. “But if we must do this, then let it not be to the death. I have no wish to die today.” He brought his staff in front of him, but kept his power banked. 

“Shame, I’m sure Fenris would be cheered by your head on a pike.” Vic struck out with the top of his staff to see how fast Dorian could react.

Their staves clacked together when Dorian brought his up to block. “Leto would be much cheered by it. Maybe he could use my skull for a cup. At least I would still be decorative and mildly useful in death as I was in life.” 

“Is there anything to you, or just this veneer of foolishness?” Vic snapped as he counter-attacked.

“Maybe, but I would rather not be peeled like an onion for people to find out. It sounds rather uncomfortable.” Dorian took a few steps back and swung his staff over his head. Ice burst from his hands and rushed up the staff.

“Just like with the flames, but I use two fewer movements than you and will be much quicker. Watch.” When his staff hit the ground, ice spikes burst forth, but didn’t touch Hawke.

“Aren’t you just special?” Hawke melted his ice with a wave of his staff before he ringed them both in flames. “Care to critique this before I fry you?”

“Well, if you really wish me to,” Dorian drawled. “Why ring us in flames when you could create a cage of it?” He raised his hands and the flames leapt higher, forming lines of searing heat high above them.

“And I am special. or at least my mother had always told me so. I believe she regrets that now.” 

Vic snarled at that, his flames fizzled out before he lashed towards Dorian with the end of his staff. “Shut it magister.” 

“Altus,” Dorian chided as he jerked back in order to avoid being impaled. But he wasn’t quick enough and it grazed his cheek, drawing blood.

“Alas, you won’t be able to pretend you are a useless, pretty thing around here any longer.” Vic laughed as he twirled his staff in front of him.

Dorian touched his cheek and looked at his blood tinged fingers. “Lisbeth will have to heal me again. I think she might be getting sick of it,” he sighed. 

“As to being useless, that is not pretending, I assure you.” He waved his staff and a spray of ice formed at Hawke’s feet. 

“You on the other hand dispelled my little cage made out of flames as if it were nothing. Did I not say you were powerful?” 

“Do not give me your pretty words and platitudes, Altus. Just say what’s on your mind and be gone from my sight.” Vic drew a short, tight circle around himself as he dispelled Dorian’s work once more.

Dorian raised an eyebrow at that. “Says the mage who dispelled a second spell of mine.” he gave Hawke a low bow. “I admit defeat. As I thought, you would kill me if we were dueling for any real stakes.”

“Who said we weren't?” Invictus snapped as he sheathed his staff. “Hurt Fenris again, and the next time you see me coming, I suggest you run.”

“A Pavus doesn’t run,” Dorian said almost by rote. “But I will take your words under advisement. If you ever wish to hone your skills, you know where to find me.” 

He turned and started to walk away, touching his cheek gingerly. 

_Stupid, Dorian, ___he thought. _He could have killed you._

_Invictus stalked off in the other direction, his power flared every few steps as he sought out his lover._

_“That was stupid,” someone called out to Dorian, echoing his thoughts. The mage looked up to see the commander staring down at him from a set of stairs that led up to a tower. Dorian shielded his eyes from the setting sun._

_“Commander… Doing your templar duty and watching out for the nasty mages?”_

_“I’m not a templar anymore, Pavus. and I can’t help but be drawn to watch when two mages go after each other as you two did. There are other templars here who still feel they need to uphold their sworn duty. I only offer you advice to be careful.”_

_“Why?” Dorian asked. “I know you dislike me, Commander.”_

_“I do not…” Cullen cleared his throat. “I do not dislike you. Lisbeth considers you a friend of hers, and I only wish to look out for you.”_

_“Lisbeth?” Dorian clucked his tongue. “Such familiarity, commander. What will everyone think?”_

_“I… Just... “ Cullen sputtered. “Just be careful that you do not give the templars that live here cause to want to take you down.”_

_Dorian winked at the commander. “I won’t, serrah.”_

_**  
Fenris jumped when Vic entered their room in a snit. He put his sword back slowly, just in case the mage was in such a mood he would see a quick movement and react out of habit. _

_“Sorry, I’m just… let me get washed up and we should get to dinner.” Vic dropped his staff across the bed before he started to clean up._

_“You’re angry, well more than you were before you went to practice.” Fenris asked as he carefully picked up Vic’s staff to move it off their bed._

_“Yes, I’ll tell you after dinner. For now, I’m starving.” Vic flung the used flannel away, took Fenris’ hand and led them to the main dining hall instead of the Inquisitor’s private rooms. Dinner was not going to be pleasant but he didn’t care about that at that moment._

_Fenris let himself be pulled along, slightly confused as to why Vic was in such a foul mood but unwilling to ask. He figured he’d find out. He entered to find most of the Inquisition around the center table, but Dorian was missing._

_Along with the Iron Bull._


	2. Ferelden Beer is bitter, and so is the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian wallows, Bull is sympathetic and Fenris remembers. None of this can end well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW, Bull/Dorian shenanigans

Dorian knocked back his second tankard of Ferelden beer and motioned for the barkeep to give him another. This was his first time in the tavern of Skyhold, and he was beginning to wonder why he had never come in here before. The music was good and the beer was delicious. 

Bull was laid back in his usual spot, but his gaze wandered over to Dorian, unsure what had the Vint’ slumming with the rest of them. He came over with a full tankard and slid next to the mage, far too casually to be an accident. “Didn’t think you’d come in here with us plebeians.” Bull said lightly.

“That assumes I have some sort of higher position in society, and I am sure that I do not,” Dorian said, slurring his words slightly. He eyed Bull. “Should I be concerned that you are speaking to me?” 

“If I was gonna kill you, I wouldn’t waste time chatting with you. What’s got you in here anyway? You’ve been down since the Champion showed up with his elfy boyfriend.” Bull knew Fenris’ story, he just wanted to hear what the mage had to say.

“That elfy boyfriend was once…” Dorian trailed off. Years of conditioning, of never speaking about certain things outloud, had sealed his lips. 

“He was a friend once,” he said instead. Friend was safe. Friend didn’t have his own father performing blood magic.

“So now you’re all twisted up becauses he’s not with you anymore.” Bull said with no shame.

“I am not what you think I am,” Dorian hissed. “He was a friend.” 

“Right, just a friend. No one drinks this horsespiss and wallows over just a friend. You can tell yourself that all you want, Vint’ but you’re as clear as Orlesian crystal right now.” Bull chugged his drink, and waved the barkeep over to refill them both.

Words that Dorian hadn’t spoken of in more than a decade warred with his habit to remain silent. But he wasn’t in Minrathous now, and his father was far away. Lisbeth had told him he didn’t have to hide anymore, but it was still hard to believe that. Still, the urge to speak those words and the beer he had drank caused his lips to become loose.

“He was the first boy I had never kissed,” Dorian finally said, his tongue feeling thick. “The first one I had ever slept with. The first one who helped me realize that I was different.” His eyes met Bull’s. “And the first time I realized that there can be no good in wanting certain things, because that was not to be my life.” 

Bull frowned as he listened to Dorian confess his heart. He’d only meant to pester the mage, not get him to tell all of that. “What happened?” he asked

‘Several things,” Dorian said with a bitter laugh. “I met him when we were just teenagers. You should have seen him. He’s even more beautiful now, but he was so handsome then. We became friends and then one day, and we….” Dorian shrugged. “You know how the young are. There is no one defining moment, but a series of realizations. I loved him so much, and I was so naive.”

He took another drink of his beer. “I had been raised to believe I could move mountains with the power of my name alone. I honestly thought I could free him and his family. I tried to get the money from my father, but… but he refused. Looking back i think he knew… knew that I loved Leto…. Fenris. That’s when I heard about this tournament, one who would grant the winner any boon. I knew Fenris could fight. and I thought it was perfect. I arranged for him to get to Minrathous and then….” 

Dorian could see it now, the way Fenris stared at him, his eyes accusing him of lying as he clawed at the collar around his throat. “All of you are the same!” he had screamed. “What has magic touched that it does not spoil!” 

“I never really saw him again. My love died in the arena, and Fenris rose in his place.” Tears pricked the back of his eyes, but he swallowed the lump in his throat. He was a Pavus, and blubbering like a fool would not solve anything.

Bull tugged at Dorian, his grip gentle despite how rough his hands were from years of sword-work. “Come with me, this sounds like it’s something that doesn’t need an audience.” 

Dorian picked up his tankard and drained the last of his beer before following Bull a bit unsteadily. 

Bull led them to his room, lit a fire, poured them both a stiff drink and flopped back on his bed. “Didn’t want you to start bawling on me down there, can’t have that. Besides, you’re probably an ugly crier. It’s safe in here, get it out of your system before you put your mask back on.” 

“No,” Dorian said as he stared into the fire. “And why are you being so kind to me? Don’t tell me that you have no motive.” This had been a mistake. He shouldn't have told Bull anything. Dorian just hoped that the consequences would not be the end of him.

“You looked like someone kicked your puppy down a well, and …” Bull hedged, unsure why he’d even gone to the mage, but he hated to see anyone as beaten down as Dorian, even if he was a Vint’. “Shit...you’re not that bad of a guy and even I can’t see someone look as whooped as you and not feel bad for you. Come on, one more drink with me. Just call me a filthy beast, a liar like you always do if you ever hear what you said come back around.”

“I might be a liar, but at least I can think of a better insult than filthy beast,” Dorian said with a shaky laugh. “Be careful, Bull. You might end up my friend and then you’ll have the same sort of conversations with people about me that Lisbeth is forced to endure. One more drink, and I will sneak out of here.” 

“No need to sneak...unless you’d rather not be seen with me. It can only help your reputation...Dorian.” Bull let the mages name roll off his tongue slowly, the way he did when he was interested. At worst, it would be a lousy night, at best...he’d see how it was to bed a mage and if the rumors were true.

Dorian's eyes slitted as he turned to glance at Bull. Years of being in the shadows of Minrathous had taught him the minute signals someone could leave and how to read them. 

“As I said… be careful, Bull. I know how to be discreet. Do you?” 

“I’m a Ben Hassrath, if I wasn’t able to be do that, I’d have been dead long ago.” Bull finished his drink before he beckoned Dorian over.

Dorian’s blood roared in his ears. He could hear the way his breath rasped in and out between his parted lips, feel the way the rug under his feet was softer than he had thought it would be when he took off his boots. He was moving to the bed before he could even consider what Bull was offering him. He needed this small moment of escape, a few hours of thinking that everything was okay and he could be himself before walking out later and pretending it never happened, of eyes never quite meeting his lover’s across a crowded ballroom because neither one wanted to acknowledge the things they had done. 

But for right now he didn’t want to pretend. 

He climbed up on the large bed, his fingers shaking slightly as he did. 

“I won’t hurt you...why are you shaking?” Bull asked as he unsnapped his pauldron and let it drop to the floor. He slowly undid his trousers as he waited for an answer

“Been a while,” Dorian said. “And never with a Qunari. I’m not sure what to…” His words faltered as Bull pulled down his breeches and he saw what was between his legs. 

“Well now…” 

“First time I think you’ve ever been struck speechless. Shoulda done this sooner, if it’ll keep you quiet.” Bull leaned back so he could be seen and hopefully touched soon. “Waiting for an invitation to ride the Bull? Or are you going to just stare at me and hope I start?”

“And here I was just thinking that speechless should be the last thing I should be doing. I should be singing praises to the Maker right now.” Dorian’s lips twitched in amusement under his moustache. 

“A Pavus never runs, and this one does not back down from a challenge such as this. I have my family honor to think of.” Dorian slid his hands up Bull’s calves, feeling the densely packed muscle. He bent down and pressed a kiss to the qunari’s thigh.

Bull held himself still, sure Dorian would run at his usual bedroom antics. “Not...fragile” he moaned as he felt the mage explore further up his legs, ignoring his cock for the moment.

“I can tell,” Dorian murmured. he cradled Bull’s heavy balls in both his hands. “I must have been a very naughty, or a very good boy at some point in my life.” The tip of his tongue touched the base of Bull’s cock and drew a long, wet line up the length.

“So that mouth of yours...is good for something.” Bull hissed as he grabbed the headboard instead of tangling his hands in Dorian’s hair as he wanted.

In reply, Dorian opened his lips and carefully, wrapped them around the tip of the large cock in front of him. He made a sound of pleasure when his jaw opened wider and wider to encompass the girth. He knew there would be no way he could take down the whole length, so he wrapped his hands around the bottom half and began to stroke in time with the fluttering of his tongue.

“Yeah, much better…” Bull rolled his hips slow as he could so he didn’t hurt the other man. “Can you take all that?” he asked before he tipped his head back, and nearly scraped more marks into the headboard.

Dorian lifted his head and licked reddened lips. “Give me what you can,” he urged. “I’ll tell you if it’s too much.” His cock was hard under his breeches, an ache that only grew when he bent down to take Bull back in his mouth. Just the thought of all that inside him had him shuddering in pleasure. 

“Get the salve….on the ...hutch.” Bull gasped as he bucked up slowly into Dorian’s mouth. 

Dorian knew that he had a choice to make. It was one thing to mess around as he was, drunk on beer and hurting, but it was another to…

“This isn’t a pity fuck, is it?” he asked. “If it is, I would rather not.” 

Bull snarled as he pulled Dorian up to his chest. “I don’t do pity fucks, if you think I’m just gonna bed you for shits and giggles, you can go now. Yeah, we’re both a little drunk but that’s one thing I don’t do.” 

Dorian slipped his hands up Bull’s chest before he leaned down and took his lips in a brutal kiss. When they broke apart, Dorian was panting for breath. “Where is it again?” he asked, his Tevene accent slipping through in his desire. 

“Over there, on the hutch thing.” Bull took the pot from him almost as soon as Dorian was back in reach. “Do you want to do this part, or shall I?” 

“Depends,” Dorian all but purred. “How much do you like to watch?”

“A lot...but you should be real open for me, turn around so I can do the work...and watch.” Bull pitched the lid of the pot across the room, covered three of his fingers in the elfroot salve as he awaited Dorian.

Dorian sat up and removed his clothes, folding each piece carefully before setting them on the floor. When he was finally naked, he tripped his fingers up his body and cupped his erection before turning around and presenting himself for Bull, spreading his legs and lifting his ass up. 

It was a position that Dorian had been in many times, and it never failed to give him the same sensation of vulnerability and need. He could feel Bull’s hot eye on him, a feeling that made him groan. Too many times in his life he had not felt wanted, but in small stolen moments like this, he was. 

Bull started slow, one finger in the mage, then a second as he stopped to see if Dorian was alright, to be sure he hadn’t hurt him. “Want more?” he rasped as he watched how needy, how debaucherous his night had become.

Dorian rocked back, working himself on those thick fingers. He fought off his orgasm, building himself up and then backing away. When he felt his body become soft and compliant in pleasure, he pleaded for more. 

“Give them to me,” he demanded in Tevene. “Make me beg for the thickness of your cock.” 

“Ah ah, not so bossy in here, magey. My bed, my rules...within reason.” Bull twisted two fingers inside Dorian until the mage whimpered. “Ask nicely.” he rumbled as he slowly pumped his fingers in and out. 

“Please,” Dorian pleaded. He could feel how Bull just barely graze his prostate, teasing him. “Maker, Dumat,” Dorian gasped. “Please, ser.” 

“Ser...I like the sound of that.” Bull replied before he worked in a third finger, his gaze locked to how they looked reflected in the mirror across from the bed. It wasn’t long enough to show all of them, but he could see every emotion that played over Dorian’s face as he worked the mage to frenzy.

It was almost too much and Dorian couldn’t look at himself in the mirror. He reached behind him to grab a hold of Bull’s wrist. “Stop,” he groaned. “I’m going to come. Need a moment.” He hadn’t felt the urge to come so quickly since he’d been much younger and inexperienced. But those memories didn’t belong in that room, so he took deep, shuddering breaths as he tried to calm himself down. 

Bull pulled away gently, leaned back so Dorian could have all the time he needed. “If you need me to stop, just say Katoh. No matter what we’re doing, it stops should you say that.”

Later Dorian would ask what that word meant, but for now he nodded his head. His body felt empty now, and he was still sensitive, but he wanted more. He turned around and crawled towards Bull, his body a sinuous line of muscle movement. he didn’t stop until he was straddling the qunari’s lap, his breath ghosting over Bull’s ear. 

He took Bull by the horns, and smiled at the multiple meanings, before he slowly began to lower himself. 

“You’re dying to make a joke about my horns.” Bull said as he reared back slightly as he felt Dorian slide down slowly, gently on his cock. “Remember...katoh if you need to stop.” 

“I’ll remember,” Dorian rasped. “As long as you remember what my hands feel like around your horns, your cock in my body.” It was important for Dorian to be remembered like this. His partners might not acknowledge him outside the bedroom, but he would be damned if they forgot about him afterwards. 

When he had taken Bull partially into himself, he slowly rose up. In a movement with more grace than the situation called for, he turned around, his back to Bull’s chest, his legs spread wide. He still had a grip on the qunari’s horns, and he used them to help him lower himself back down again. 

This time they could see the slow entry in the mirror. 

“You’re tight...can feel every bit of you. Fuck…” Bull forced himself to be still until he was deep inside, then he was going to give him the ride of his life.

Dorian’s head dropped back and he trembled in pleasure when he was finally seated to the hilt. His cock bobbed between his legs, leaking freely down the shaft in his excitement. He could see Bull’s larger thighs between his own in the mirror, the way Dorian’s cock twitched in eagerness when he lifted himself up, revealing the base of the qunari’s cock before it disappeared back inside him again. 

“Yes…” Dorian hissed. “Fuck me.” 

“As you wish, hold on.” Bull wrapped his arm around Dorian’s waist, slipped his feet to over the bed for balance and grabbed a handful of the mage’s dark, thick hair. “Gonna ride the Bull Dorian? Can you take it?” he whispered before he thrust upward, hard and fast.

Dorian held on tightly to those damned horns, them and Bull’s arm around his waist the only things anchoring him to the here and now as he was suddenly pulled, his body jerked up and down. Dorian’s mouth fell open and a cry of lust escaped his lips. 

“Yes… More… Just like that,” he panted. 

“Take it… all of it.” Bull growled as he went faster, deeper into the mage, his expression almost feral as he fucked Dorian hard as he could. 

Dorian began to ramble in Tevene, nonsense words of adoration, filthy words asking for things he had only ever secretly desired, but most of all he called out Bull’s name, the word becoming a chant as he was driven higher and higher.

“Going to come,” he moaned.

“Good, let go...let go Dorian.” Bull moaned as he pounded into the mage, hard as he could to push him over the edge. 

“Gonna…fuck, fuck...Dorian.” he moaned and tugged at Dorian’s hair until it fell from the complicated style he kept it in, until his bangs were in his eyes.

An inarticulate, strangled cry escaped Dorian, ripped from his throat as he came. His cock jerked while his body trembled in orgasm, the climax coming without a hand on him.

Bull’s rhythm faltered as he came hard, his body jerked until he stilled under Dorian, and he let his forehead rest against the mages back while he caught his breath. 

Dorian’s eyes snapped open and he slowly circled his hips. “There’s so much of it,” he croaked. “I want it all over me next time. I want…” 

“You want a next time?” Bull asked as he bit back a moan at how wanton Dorian had turned.

“I…” A small seed of panic began to take root inside him. “No... “ 

Bull didn’t let the disappointment come through as he leaned back, and slowly unwound from the other man. “Hope it was fun for you then.” he said quietly.

Dorian gingerly got up from Bull and staggered over to only sit down once again on the edge of the bed. 

He felt empty now, and curled his hands into fists, pressing them into his eyes. “That’s not… We live in the same Keep. I’m only trying to prevent you from having to pretend nothing is going on while we are doing this. Doing that while in the same city is hard enough… but we live in the same place.”

Bull snorted as he got up to fetch them wash cloths. “Why would I pretend nothing is going on? I’ve no shame, in case you missed that about me. Am I supposed to act like this wasn’t some great fucking? Because you’re you, and I’m me? That’s stupid, even for you mage.” He nudged Dorian to lie down so he could clean him up.

“Sure, Krem will give me shit about bedding a Vint’, but Krem’s opinion on who shares my bed only goes so far. Not enough to keep me from having you back...if you want to return.” Bull spoke quietly as he cleaned Dorian up, his expression tense as he went to rinse the cloth before he resumed.

Dorian closed his eyes. The gentle feel of Bull cleaning him up fraying the last of his nerves. “Do you know why I really left Tevinter?” he asked. 

“No, this is the most we’ve spoken since you joined up. Tell me if you wish, if it’s private, no need to share more pain.” Bull padded over to the basin, his focus on getting himself cleaned off and under the covers, if Dorian wished to stay.

“My parents had found a nice magister’s daughter for me. I have a strong suspicion she was a cousin, a close cousin and they were keeping my marriage in house so to speak. I told my father I would not live an even bigger lie and marry a woman… fuck a woman… He… He tried to use blood magic on me, to change me, to control me so i would become what they wanted. I barely escaped.” 

He opened his eyes and looked at Bull. “You’ll have to forgive me if I assume you would wish for more discretion and for people not to gossip about us. I’m… a bit more used to these sort so things being a one time only encounter.” 

“You’re complicating things...well me an’ you Pavus. You want it to be just once, you creep out of here like I’m some dirty secret; that’s on you. You want to take a ride again, just ask. Either way, my door and bed is open to you as long as you want it. But it’s on you to decide if this will be just a thing you regret when you’re sober in the morning, or …”

Bull strode over and pulled Dorian over his chest so he could stare into the mages eyes. “Or...you accept that I fuck like a bronto and you loved it and want more. I’m sorry your father did that to you, but I’m not gonna be ashamed cause you’re a better lay than I’d expected. You get an open ticket to ride this ride, I don’t do that for everyone.”

Dorian stared at Bull incredulously and then barked in laughter. “Than you expected? I’m not sure whether to be offended or not. Lucky for you, you left me too satisfied to be angry so I will take it as the compliment I am sure it was meant to be.” 

“Good, glad to hear you had a nice ride. Now get under the covers with me, it’s cold now that we’re not fucking like nugs in heat.” Bull offered up the blanket and a chance to lie with him if Dorian wanted.

“Well, if you are not going to let me wallow in angst, the least I can do is allow you to get under the covers and warm.” Dorian slid in next to him.

“No angst, not after I fucked that stupid hairstyle loose. Looks better down anyway.” Bull pulled Dorian to him, his fingers trailed softly over the mage’s cheek as he pondered where they could go from barely tolerating each other to semi-drunken fucking in the space of a few months. 

“You’re quiet, what’s on your mind?”

Dorian pressed his face into Bull’s shoulder, tears slipping from his eyes. “You’re an idiot, and I’m making a fool of myself.” 

“Shit I hurt you didn’t I, why didn’t you say something?” Bull said as he started to turn Dorian to his side so he could check for any...damage. 

“It’s not…” Dorian batted his hands away. “I’m a little sore, but pleasantly so. I’m just... “ He rolled back over. “It’s been an emotional day. That’s all.” 

Bull scowled but didn’t keep poking at the mage in his bed. “Very well, just if I ever...hurt you like that say something.” He trailed his fingers down Dorian’s back, surprised at how strong the mage was. “You’re pretty thick for a mage, all the Vint’s I’ve seen were soft and puny.”

“You have noticed I am a vain man, have you not?” Dorian arched back into the touch.

“Vain yes, even the drunken former quartermaster could see you’re a vain cock of the walk. Doesn’t equate to this level of fitness.” Bull replied as he trailed his nails down Dorian’s back and over his firm, round ass. 

“Nice...didn’t realize you’d hidden such a nice body under all those straps and buckles. Guess all that trailing after the Inquisitor has done you some good.” Bull pressed light kisses to Dorian’s shoulder, before he bit the mage

“You know…” Dorian drawled,” I do know some spells that will revive me for round two… or three… maybe four….” 

“Ambitious aren’t we?” Bull huffed as he rolled over to straddle Dorian’s back, and continue his exploration. “Don’t need to sleep then?” 

“Sleep is for those that don’t have a strong qunari that… fucks like a bull in their bed.” Dorian undulated under Bull.

“If you keep making terrible puns like that, I’ll put you on the floor.” Bull murmured as he leaned down to mark Dorian’s back with small nips of his teeth, enough to leave evidence but not enough to wound. “Remember...katoh if I go beyond your limits. I want you to scream out like you did earlier. Call my name like a prayer.” 

‘What does katoh mean?” Dorian asked lazily. 

“Literally...it means enough. For our purposes, it can mean simply stop.” Bull replied as he tilted Dorian’s head aside to worry his neck. 

‘At this rate I don’t think I’m ever going to get enough,” Dorian purred.

**  
He had reason to eat his words the next morning as he stiffly walked out into the morning sun from Bull’s chambers. His hair was a mess, he had marks on his throat and other parts of his body that were thankfully covered with his clothes, and he had lost his silk underwear somewhere in Bull’s chambers. 

Still… Dorian wasn’t going to regret a single debauched moment of it.

Fenris muttered to himself as he found himself at the end of another hallway, instead of the dining hall. He had come to loathe the layout of Skyhold, it made no sense. Enter one door and wind up in the Gardens, enter another and you were near the stables. Or in his case, right in the path of a rather debauched Altus. He stopped mid-stride as Dorian’s appearance struck him.

It was like he’d walked out of memory, a sharp, bitter fragment of Dorian as he’d crept from the slave quarters after a tryst, hair loose and in his face, boots in hand so he didn’t make noise and marks on him that he’d dared anyone to remark on. Fenris was stunned by that sudden recall, enough that he didn’t move as Dorian approached.

Dorian faltered, but only for a moment. He wasn’t going to disrespect Bull by pretending it hadn’t happened. But the stunned look on Fenris’ face had his steps slowing down.

“Leto?” he asked. “Are you alright?” His throat was still a bit raw and rough sounding. 

Fenris shook his head as he took in how Dorian looked. “I...remembered, when I saw you, I remembered...us.” he whispered. “How you looked as you snuck out of the slave quarters. How...you, looked after...we’d…” the elf’s voice trailed off as he looked like he was going to either faint or run back the way he came.

Dorian paled. “I… I didn’t want you to know.”

“Excuse me.” Fenris turned and bolted back into the Keep, unsure where he’d wind up but he didn’t care as long as it wasn’t there, not with Dorian as he’d suddenly remembered him. He ran until he found himself lost once more. “I hate this place, why can’t it be easy to find one fucking room.”

“It can be confusing at first,” Dorian said from behind him. He stood in the doorway of the crumbling room Fenris had found himself in, out of breath from having chased the elf. 

“I...would rather be alone, but I can’t even find my room in this damned place.” Fenris muttered as he sunk to the ground and covered his face. “So many times, so many I’ve been wrong about the mages in my life. I want to hate you… I want to fucking hate you so badly right now.” 

“Do it,” Dorian encouraged softly. “Maker knows I have earned your scorn a thousand times over.”

“What good will that do? None, the truth is there for me to see finally. You were right and I hated you just because. Just...show me how to get to my room so I can be left alone.” Fenris said as he forced himself back to his feet, his gaze troubled as he ignored the marks on the mages neck, the way his hair was mussed and the way he stood, almost as if he was in discomfort.

“This way,” Dorian finally said. “Do you wish for me to find Hawke for you?” He wished he hadn’t left Bull’s room, that he had stayed there in pleasure and the gentleness the qunari had given him. But Dorian knew he couldn’t hide from things forever. It always came back around.

“No, I will see him later. Go on, you look as if you haven’t slept either.” Fenris headed in the direction Dorian had pointed, fast enough to be in a hurry but not an outright run.

Dorian stared after Fenris’ retreating back before he straightened his clothes and ran his fingers through his hair, putting himself back to rights. But without the oils he usually used, his hair fell back into his face and he sighed, walking towards the dining hall in resignation. 

Bull glanced up and waved Dorian over when he noticed that he’d dragged himself out of his bed and back into public. It also gave him a small bit of pleasure that he hadn’t bothered with putting himself together after their night together.

Dorian knew that lovers usually told each other things, shared their problems when they were bothered about something. But Dorian didn’t know anything about what lovers normally did. His life as a magister’s son had shown him that marriages were made to breed the strongest, while men he had let fuck him avoided him. So he said nothing to Bull when he sat down, wincing slightly as he did. 

“He’s embarrassed and unsure. It had felt so good last night, the gentle hands and hard body over and under him. What does it mean he asks himself. More questions than answers.” Cole stared at Dorian unblinking. 

“Lovely,” Dorian muttered. 

“Kid, what did I tell you about doing that creepy thing?” Bull commented as he gave Dorian a sympathetic look. 

“And none of our business,” Cullen said primly.

“I don’t know about that,” Varric drawled. “Seems like it was the business of everyone who walked by Bull’s door last night.” 

“Maker, help me,” Dorian groaned and covered his face with his hands.

“Look short, blond and hairy...what goes on in my room is between me and the person I’ve taken to bed. Now drop it before I use you for shield work later.” Bull glared at everyone at the table, his patience thinner than usual as he watched how Dorian had nearly slid under the table.

Dorian cleared his throat and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “So! Does anyone else wish to comment on who i sleep with?” His gaze slid over to Josephine who was biting her lip.

“Yes?” 

“I was curious as to how....” she trailed off. “I mean… Nevermind!” 

“Right. Then let’s talk about this horribly boring war we are currently involved in. I assure you it is more interesting than what I may or may not have been doing.” 

“Or who…” Bull murmured under his breath before he went after his breakfast with a vengeance.” 

The table would have fallen into silence, but Dorian was determined that everything was business as usual, even as everything around him seemed to have turned on its head. He was on in a way he hadn’t been in a long time, making witty remarks and flirting with Lisbeth. 

Bull watched Dorian for any signs his mask was about to slip, and but he had to give credit where credit was due. Dorian held court like he was born to it, even when the doors to the hall opened to admit a very, very angry Hawke.

Dorian gave the champion a small glance before he turned back to Josephine to finish the story he had been regaling her with. all the while his heart slammed in his chest. 

Hawke ignored everyone as he slipped in front of Dorian to get his full attention. "What did you do?" he hissed in Tevene

Bull watched, ready to intervene of need be, but he wasn't going to assume his help was needed, and yet.

“Good morning, Hawke,” Dorian said lightly. “Come and sit with us. You must try these eggs, they are divine.” 

“I don’t want your damned eggs. I want to know what you said to Fenris last night, he looks as if he’s seen a ghost. I know it was you and something you did Pavus. What did I tell you about hurting him?” Hawke snarled half in Trade, half in Tevene as he advanced on the Altus.

“Do sit down, Champion,” Dorian replied in Tevene. “I don’t deal with men who wish to shout at me. Either sit and listen to what I have to say, or we take this conversation outside.” 

“Dorian?” Lisbeth asked. “Do you--”

“I’m fine, and so is Ser Hawke. He just wishes me to clarify something for him.” 

“You get five minutes, and I don’t take orders or requests from the likes of you. Now talk while I’m willing to listen.” Hawke snapped

Bull edged forward, hand casually draped over the back of his chair as he watched them. Granted it had been one night so far, he wasn’t going to let Hawke run roughshod over _his_ Vint’.

“If we both want to be technical here,” Dorian said as he sipped his tea, “I outrank you, Champion, but we’re both in a place where rank means little anymore. I did nothing to Fenris. In fact, what he’s going through right now is something I actively tried to prevent. He remembered some of our friendship this morning when we ran into each other. I assume he’s still trying to process it.” The tea cup rattled slightly on it’s saucer when he set it back down.

“Friendship?” Invictus sneered, as if Dorian was a piece of nugshit he’d stepped in. 

“Take it easy Champion, I’m sure there’s no need for violence before the sun has been up an hour.” Bull said as he shifted in his seat to stare at Invictus.

“There’s reason for violence when he keeps distressing my lover.” Vic turned to Dorian again, his expression murderous. “You were more than friends, he told me so.”

Dorian could feel every eye in the room on him, and although he didn’t know how much any of them understood the rapidfire Tevene, it was still more than enough. One single night was not going to suddenly make Dorian announce certain aspects of his life to the world. In that moment he resented Hawke and Fenris, he resented Bull and how simply they could say things, as if by doing so didn’t change everything. 

“What we were or weren’t does not matter now. It’s been over a decade, Hawke. I knew an elven slave named Leto. His mother ran a bakery for their master in Seheron. Fenris and I do not know each other. I’m sorry that he is hurting. I did not want that for him.” Some of Dorian’s veneer cracked and steel slipped into his tone. 

“You will fix this Pavus, I don’t know what happened but you will not leave him as he is now. You will tell him the truth of it, if he asks. Otherwise stay away from him.” Hawke felt the flames dance over his fingers, his temper was nearly frayed as his control.

Bull let his fingers graze over the haft of his weapon, slow and easy just in case a fight was about to go down. He didn’t like his meals or his leisure time interrupted with foolishness.

“And I don’t take orders from you, Hawke. I only take orders from the incredibly lovely, red headed woman sitting next to the scowling former templar. I suggest you put out that fire before someone makes you put it out.” Dorian’s eyes met Hawke’s.

“When he is ready to listen to me, I’ll speak to him,” he added 

“Lovely crew you have here Inquisitor, just lovely.” Hawke tamped his power and stalked out before it became a brawl. He had plans to make.

Dorian closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Lis,” he said on a sigh.

“Don’t worry about it,” she assured him. “If this is what makes the Champion of Kirkwall not wish to join us, then I wouldn’t have him anyway.” 

Dorian’s lips twitched in a small smile and he opened his eyes. “That’s beyond foolish. Hawke can bring more to the Inquisition than I can.” 

“Either way, it wasn’t the best impression he could have made.” Bull reached over to get a fresh scone, and subtly give Dorian a show of support as he pretended to miss the grateful look shot over the mage’s shoulder.

Dorian dropped his hand under the table and lightly touched Bull’s leg.

“I need to fix this,” Dorian said. “I will make this right, Lis.” 

“You don’t have to--” she started.

“No… I do.” Dorian got to his feet. “But first I need to get cleaned up. I look a mess and I have you to blame for it.” He leaned down and gave Bull a light kiss on the cheek. His action might have been simple, but inside he was shaking. But Bull had stood by him, and Dorian wasn’t going to disrespect everything they had done by pretending what they were…. whatever it was… wasn’t happening.

He didn’t just owe it to Bull, he owed it to himself. 

“Want some company while you get it together?” Bull offered softly, surprised at the acknowledgement.

“No, but thank you.” Dorian gestured to himself. “All of this perfection can take some time, and i need to plan out what exactly to say to Hawke and Fenris in order to fix things. I will find you later.” He turned to walk away. “If they don’t kill me first,” he threw over his shoulder. 

“they’d better not, I’ll be fucking furious if they do.” Bull watched Dorian walk off, sure the mage was unsure what he was about to walk into.

Lisbeth set her elbows on the table and propped her chin in her hands, grinning at Bull. “I think you two will be good for each other,” she said.

“And I think I might know way too much about the sex lives of people in this keep,” Cullen muttered. 

"Sorry about that, curly." Bull grabbed his weapon, another scone and bacon on his way out. "Krem's gonna give me shit about this for weeks."

“Not you too with the nicknames,” Cullen groaned. 

“I’m given to understand his nicknames tend to stick around longer, curly,” Varric said. He tilted his head back to look at Bull.

“Hawke might be abrupt, but his heart is in the right place. He’s worried about Fenris, and after the shit we went through to make sure Broody’s former master wouldn’t get a hold of him again, you can’t blame him for being concerned.” He held his hand up. “Not that I think that Sparkler did anything warranting real concern.”

"Regardless, we're not going to be pushed around by your buddy, Tethras. I'll catch you all later, hopefully the day gets better for all of us." Bull waved as he headed out to the baths.

**  
An hour later found Dorian dressed in clean clothes, with his hair in its usual style, and feeling as if he had donned armor. Minrathous was no different than Orlais in this. How one presented themselves was part of a game that was played. But he wasn’t playing a game with Fenris.

His hand rose and he rapped sharply on the door.

Hawke sighed as he headed over, his expression slipped back to anger when he saw who is was. "What do you want?”

Dorian raised an eyebrow. “To speak to Fenris… and to you.”

Fenris opened the door to admit the mage. "Vic, sit please. I'll hear him out and that will be easier if you're not glaring at him like a mabari."

Dorian folded his hands in front of him as a sign he wasn’t hiding anything and walked into the room. “If Hawke still wishes to fight me, that is another conversation.” 

"No fighting, I can stand for myself Hawke." Fenris sat across from Dorian, tired and eager to get it over with. "You have the floor, so speak." 

Hawke stood behind Fenris, a glower on his face as he waited.

Dorian took a deep breath and he began. he explained everything, telling Fenris and Hawke the same tale he had told Bull the night before. He told Fenris how they had first met, when they had first kissed, the first time they had fucked, and the first time they had made love. He told Fenris about the plans they had made to gain the freedom of the elf and his family, why Dorian had told him about the boon, and that he had paved the way for Fenris to get to Minrathous. 

When he reached the last time they had spoken before Fenris had forgotten him, Dorian’s voice finally faltered. But he pushed on, finishing with those last words. 

What has magic touched that it hasn’t spoiled?

“I think my father knew,” Dorian said. “I think he knew that Danarius would not grant such a boon to the winner, because the winner was always to be a part of his twisted ritual. I remember how he had looked at me when I came home after I spoke with you last. He didn’t question why I was so upset.” 

Fenris got up, grabbed a bottle of whiskey and three glasses. He poured himself a glass full of Nevarran white Rye before he offers the other men anything. 

Hawke watched as Fenris finished off his drink without so much as a word. "Love?" 

"I have nothing to say, I wanted the truth and I got it. I'll be back later. " Fenris tried to get up but found it a better idea to remain where he was

“I will leave,” Dorian said. He gave them both a low bow. “Gentlemen. Thank you for listening to me. Maybe I should have told you the truth from the start, but I… I have my own struggles. I should have separated my issues from your need to learn the truth, though. But how does one tell someone who doesn’t know them all of that?”

"Thank Fenris, I wouldn't..." Hawkes tirade was cut short by a simple plea to stop from his lover.

‘What will please you, Hawke?” Dorian asked. He knew it was time to finally have it out with Hawke. “Shall I prostrate myself before you for daring to have been with your lover before you?” 

Invictus started to go after the other mage, but a firm, gauntleted hand around his kept him still. “Vic, don’t do this I beg of you.” Fenris said quietly before he turned to Dorian. 

“Don’t make this worse than it has to be, Pavus, just let me be.” 

“Don’t let me be the reason you turn down Lisbeth’s offer,” Dorian said after a beat of silence. He had sworn to her that he would fix this, and antagonizing Hawke wasn’t going to help, no matter how much it might make the two mages feel better to vent. 

“Leave...just leave.” Hawke said as he knelt down to tend to his lover.

Fenris rested his head against Hawkes, barely held grief as he waited for the door to shut.

When it finally closed behind him, Dorian headed straight towards the one place he wanted to be.

Bull’s room.

He found himself before the qunari’s door before he knew it, and his hand paused, hovering in a fist over the door. 

Unfortunately for Dorian, the spy was right behind him, rather than in his rooms. “You’re fast when you want to be.” he drawled in the mage’s ear.

Dorian didn’t flinch, but his heart skipped a beat. “Maybe not fast enough. I was just thinking that I’m not sure what I’m doing here. You and I spent an admittedly amazing night together. That doesn’t mean I get to spill all of my woes to you. I keep telling myself this, but yet I’m standing in front of your door.”

“It’s my charming personality, and the fact I fuck like a bronto in heat. You staying or going?” Bull asked as he nudged Dorian aside to enter.

“Why can’t I do both and I only want to do one?” Dorian asked he he followed Bull inside. 

“That’s up to you, like I said. So you want to talk, drink, fuck? All of the above?” Bull asked as he tidied the room just a bit, and managed to find Dorian’s silky excuse for underwear. “I hope you didn’t want these back.”

Dorian eyed the torn silk. “Well not now.” He folded his arms over his chest. “Hawke wants to kill me. I think I might have fucked Lisbeth’s chances of getting the Champion of Kirkwall into the Inquisition.”

“So, if he’s such a fucking hot head we probably don’t want him with us. Yeah, I know what Varric said but that’s his friend and he won’t see it that way. Give them space and if he acts right, and Lisbeth wants them she can have them. I’d be sad to lose a good sparring partner, if nothing else.” Bull stretched out on the bed and beckoned Dorian over, if he wanted that from him.

Dorian didn’t move. “If it’s my presence he objects to, then I can’t stay.” 

“The hell you will leave for that jumped up dog-lord. Lisbeth can deal with him, and if you think to run from another mage I’ll tail you all the way back to Seheron, shame you worse than anything your poncey little mage friends could do, and then let the Inquisitor have you. Is that clear sparkler?” Bull’s voice was low, deeper than usual and hard as silverite.

Dorian stared at Bull as if he was insane, and said as much. “You have lost your qunari mind, have you not? You and Lisbeth both. I don’t think either of you understand what taking up for me entails. I won’t have either one of you doing it for me anymore. Or at least, I won’t have her doing it anymore, and you starting. This Inquisition is bigger than that.” 

“Oh for fucks sake you idiot.” Bull went over to the mage, picked him up and tossed him on his bed. “Do you hear yourself?”

“I hear myself just fine,” Dorian said when he stopped bouncing against the mattress. “I like hearing myself. I don’t think you and Lisbeth are the ones listening. Invictus Hawke holds a lot of power and can sway people for or against the Inquisition.”

“And I can crack heads like melons, you don't see me worrying about what people think of me do you?” Bull stretched out alongside Dorian, close but made no move to hold the mage down, unlike the previous night. “You were here first dummy, don’t let them run you off. Besides, you’re a fine piece of ass, can’t let you get away that easy.”

“I am, aren’t I?” Dorian mused. “And I would so hate to deprive the keep of one of it’s best looking occupants.” He sighed dramatically. “Fine you have convinced me. Truth be told i don’t have anywhere else to go right now, but I still don’t like thinking I might end up costing Lisbeth an ally. She’s done a lot for me.”

“She knows the cost of this damned war, but she won’t give up on her friends even if it means losing that ray of sunshine.” Bull took a chance on running his fingers over Dorian’s side to see if the mage was in the mood for play or just talk.

Dorian’s eyes met Bull’s. “A second time denotes the start of a pattern. Or would it really be a second time if it is technically the fifth, but on a second night?”

“Your choice, I’d say sixth time is where we’re at, if we’re countin’. You keeping score Vint?”

“Not if you keep calling me that. You’re going to need to come up with another name, Bull. I’m not just a ‘Vint’.” 

“Dorian, or do you prefer Sparkler?” Bull said as he rolled away to stretch on his stomach. “Having horns isn’t as much fun as some would think.”

Dorian crawled over to straddle Bull’s legs. “Then let me fix that,” he whispered in the qunari’s ear. His fingers became literal magic, heating them slightly in order to massage into Bull’s neck and shoulders. 

“If my ancestors could see me now, they would have made sure that several cousins didn’t marry each other in order to produce me,” he laughed. “Massaging a qunari lover? Scandalous!” 

Bull stretched under the mage, a low pleased rumble escaped him at the feel of Dorian’s fingers on him. “Magic has some good uses I suppose.”

Dorian clucked his tongue. “I can tell you with little doubt that without magic the Imperium would be crippled. what is magic other than something else for us to enslave so we can do as little as possible ourselves?”

Bull turned so he could see the mage as he worked. “You’re deflecting again, no masks in here remember?”

Dorian laughed, the sound ringing true. “If only I was deflecting. All the qun need to do is cut off the lyrium supply to the capital and you would have Minrathous in a month.” He leaned down and kissed Bull lightly on the lips. 

“That’s too simple, but an effective thought.” Bull murmured as he tugged at the ties to Dorian’s armor, annoyed with the complexity of it.

“Not all of us can walk around without a top on,” Dorian said, correctly reading Bull’s annoyance. “Although you and I could try. We would dazzle our opponents with our good looks.” 

“That won’t last, especially after I get shanked from behind. I do wear something, it’s that giant hunk of steel and leather I dropped when I got in. I’d rather get you out of your stupid armor, if you want.” Bull flicked at one of the shiny buckles almost in disdain.

Dorian sighed as if put upon. “It’s not stupid. Contrary to what I tell people, it’s more practical than what most mages wear outside the Imperium.” He sat up and deftly began to undo the straps.

“Your chest and back are exposed, in exactly the places someone could slip a knife in your ribs. Poorly designed, is what it is.” Bull said as he dropped leather and metal over the side of the bed.

“If someone can get that close to me, it means that the big strapping warriors are dead, and so is anyone else with a dagger or a bow in their hand. I would be dead no matter what I wore.” They fell silent and helped each other to undress.

“Point taken.” Bull muttered as he let Dorian slip his breeches off and straddle him again.

Dorian tripped his fingers up Bull’s chest and breathed into his ear. “Can this mage show a big, strapping warrior his appreciation for standing between him and certain death?”

“Sure, show me what you got’.” Bull replied as he sat up and perched Dorian on his lap, fingers already in the mage’s hair to undo the style he actually did hate. “You’re oily...is that how you keep that stupid style?”

“I like that style,” Dorian said. “It’s clean looking. Besides, I wouldn’t want to deprive you of the chance to mess it up.” He bent down and took Bull’s ear between his teeth. “You’re the only one who can touch my hair like that,” he whispered. “You’re the only one I’ll allow to push his fingers through it.” 

“I like it better down.” Bull said as he mussed Dorian’s hair until the fringe was in his eyes instead of carefully pulled back. “You look...debauched already.”

“Then we shall have to compromise,” Dorian said with an arch smile. “In here, you may do with it as you please, while out there…” he glanced to the door, “I will.” 

“That’s fine...if you don’t like it, you know what to say.” Bull slipped his hands down to Dorian’s neck, his thumb grazed the mage’s pulsepoint as he pondered what he wanted to do that they hadn’t tried the prior night.

Dorian spread his legs wider, his ass coming to rest against Bull’s cock. “So much qunari under me,” he mused, his voice heated. “Whatever shall I do?” 

“Get that salve and get to work that’s what.” Bull tugged Dorian’s head to the side so he could mark him again, make the dark mark on his neck nearly purple instead of the dull red it had faded to.

Dorian scratched down Bull’s sides before he got up from the bed. He made sure that the qunari saw every inch of him as he walked to the hutch. 

Of course, that’s when the door opened. 

“Bull there’s someon-” Josephine stopped on a gasp as she took in the warrior, all of him. “Oh my.”

“Did you find him?” Cullen asked from behind her, his eyes on a sheet of parchment. He almost ran straight into her and looked up. “What are you…” His mouth worked a few times and his averted his eyes, only to be confronted with a very naked Dorian Pavus on the other side of the room.

“I…” That was it. he couldn’t seem to make his brain work past that single word. 

“You needed something Ruffles?” Bull asked as he flexed just to see if he could make her blush more.

“I...we, that is…” Josie was at a loss for words at the display before her. “I take it…”

Dorian’s heart slammed so loudly in his ears he was sure that everyone else could hear it. He looked over at Bull and the way he seemed unconcerned, and how no one was screaming accusations of deviancy at them both. 

But why should they?

 _I should have left Minrathous a long time ago,_ he thought to himself.

If he had what would his life had been like? He would have been dragged into the Circle or lived a life of an apostate, but at least he wouldn’t have had to hide this. Unless what they said of the Circles outside of Tevinter were true.   
‘  
But he wasn’t in the Circle, and he wasn’t in tevinter. What did he care what people thought of him? What did he care what they said of him? No one was talking anyway, at least not in the way he feared. 

A smile curled his lips and he at least turned his back on the two intruders. 

Cullen’s eyes grew wide when Dorian had turned. That hadn’t helped the situation and he wasn't quite sure the mage wasn’t fully aware of that. Front or muscular back, there was too much skin exposed.

“If you two don’t mind, you’re interrupting our night. So what is it?” Bull said as he twitched the cover over himself just enough to be decent.

“Ah, apologies Bull. There is a representative from the Qunari here to see you, they said it was important. He also called you, what was it… Hissra.” Josephine glanced away, slightly sad that Bull had covered himself. She did get a peek at Dorian before she tried to back out of the room.

Dorian winked at her. 

“I’m uh…” Cullen stuttered. “I…” He started when Josephine grabbed his arm. 

“I’ll be down to see him shortly, thanks Josie.” Bull grinned at them both as he waited for them to leave. 

“He’s in the tavern when you are ready. Apologies again for just barging in.” Josephine grabbed Cullen and practically fled so they wouldn't’ see the blush that had crept over her.

Cullen couldn’t help that one last look at both of them before she shut the door behind them.

Dorian waited a beat before he spoke. “Well now… Not that it was a huge secret after this morning, but it seems there is no stopping it now.” 

“You kissed me before you left, it stopped being a secret already.” Bull regretfully grabbed his clothes and started to dress. “You can stay here, give me something to look forward to. It can’t be good if someone came to the ass end of the world to see me.”

Dorian smoothed down his hair and brushed his fingers over his moustache. “Be careful,” he said quietly.

“Always am.” Bull swatted Dorian on the ass as he left, a low chuckle drifted back as he headed down to the tavern.

Dorian stared at the closed door for some time before he moved. He pulled on his clothes and boots, hurrying out of the room. Lisbeth had told him where Cole usually stayed in the highest point of the tavern and how one could see almost everything from that vantage point without being seen themselves. 

Dorian wasn’t going to ignore the apprehension pooling in his stomach. 

**

Bull found his contact, Gatt at the table with Krem. Something twisted in his gut as he approached the elf. “What brings you to the ass-end of Thedas Gatt?” 

“News from home, sort of. Seems your reports have gotten the interest of the Ben Hassrath. They want an alliance, provided you’re interested?” Gatt gave him a wry little grin as he awaited the spy’s reply.

“An actual alliance? That’s unheard of.” Bull muttered as he tipped his mug up.

“Yes, so when you are ready, we can approach your Inquisitor with the offer. That is if you remember the will of the Qun, Hissra.” Gatt smirked at the warrior.

“I do, and I suggest you remember that.” Bull snarled before he rose to leave. He shook his head slightly at Krem so his Charger would remain where he was.

Dorian leaned over the railing and peered down several floors. It was a long drop, but he was heedless of the danger, his eyes on the qunari right below. He could make out just enough words to understand what was being said, and he silently cursed the damned minstrel for playing so loud.

The fourth floor of the tavern was more of an attic space, with bare wood and low beams. It was dim, the only light coming from the floors below. Dorian was in shadows, but so was the other occupant.

“A new fear, and old fear. Taken away so quickly and easily. But why should you care? Why shouldn't you care?”

Dorian’s eyebrows drew down sharply. “Silence,” he whispered harshly in Tevene.

But Cole wasn’t perturbed. “You came to me up here. I can feel your pain the closer you are. I can feel his as well, the war inside him.”

Dorian tried to block out Cole’s words. No good ever came of heeding a spirit too much.

Bull exchanged a few more terse words with Gatt before he stalked out of the tavern, his mood dark as he veered over to where Cassandra and Fenris had started to spar. 

“Mind if I join in?” he asked even as he unsheathed his massive hammer, taller than the elf and probably heavier than Fenris if he’d had to guess.

Dorian had rushed out the door, his hands almost clasped over his ears so he didn’t have to hear anymore of Cole’s pronouncements. The boy was dangerous. He knew too much about them all.

He stepped out onto the wall walk to look down at the practice yard. He walked to the edge and braced his hands on the sun warmed stone before closing his eyes. 

“What am I doing?” he asked himself.

Fenris gave Bull a slight nod before he went after the Qunari warrior, blade raised high as he pulled back at the last moment. They weren’t actually in combat, and he figured the Inquisitor would be put out if he actually killed one of them.

“Not fragile Bas-elf, come on, hit me!” Bull roared.

Dorian frowned. This wasn’t some simple sparring. He’d seen the qunari spar before, and there was something more intense about it this time. His eyes sharpened as he watched the fight, uncaring now of who saw him do it. 

“This isn’t to the death.” Fenris grunted as he slid back from the impact of Bull’s counter.

“Yeah, no need to pull your punches either. I can take it.” Bull snapped as he swept his hammer upward to disarm the elf.

“Stop,” Dorian whispered in Tevene. Then louder. “Stop!” 

Bull didn’t hear him, the next thing he heard was the loud gasp from Cassandra and the pained wheezing in front of him as Fenris hit the ground, his arm at an awkward angle as he tried to curl away from the Qunari warrior.

Dorian cursed under his breath and turned away from the edge, running to the stairs. “Why must this place be such a rabbit’s warren!” he hissed as while he slammed through another door and yet another crumbling room trying to find his way down. 

“Vishante Keffar…malum” Fenris hissed as he felt someone try to get him to his back. 

“I...I didn’t mean to.” Bull said as he let his weapon drop to the grass. “I can help set it, if you let me?” he offered

Dorian burst back out into the sun onto the ground level. He raced over to the practice yard, ignoring everything around him.

Fenris groaned as the pain shot up his arm as Cassandra tried to get him to remain still as she removed his vambraces. “Hate to see what happens when you mean to hit someone.” he hissed through clenched teeth.

“I’ll get the healer, Cass can you ...help?” Bull said, stricken that he’d harmed another so easily.

Dorian rushed onto the practice yard and skidded to a halt, kicking up dust. He looked from Fenris’ face twisted in pain, to Bull’s mortification. He went over to Fenris and crouched down next to him, his eyes scanning the arm. 

“Are you alright, Bull?” Dorian asked, even as his hands hovered over Fenris. 

“Do I look alright Pavus?” Fenris hissed angrily.

Dorian didn’t bother to correct Fenris. “No, you look like you have a broken arm. I could put you to sleep until the healer is done with you.” Dorian might not be a healer by nature, but he did know a lot about the human body. Studying anatomy was something every rich magister’s son did. One had to know where all the major blood vessels were in order to bleed someone dry.

“It’s a nasty break, Fenris.” 

“Tell me...something I don’t know.” Fenris groaned as he tried to keep from screaming his head off.

Bull had moved away to get the healer, his steps heavy as he ran back over to the assembled group. He nudged the healer over, unsure how bad it was going to be.

“I’m not a healer, but I can make you sleep,” Dorian offered again. It had always hurt him when Fenris was in pain, and he felt as helpless now as he had in Seheron. But another person’s pain was calling to him too, and he glanced over his shoulder to see Bull urging the healer through the gathering crowd.

“Get… Hawke. Knows...how to deal with lyrium.” Fenris gasped as the healer tried to help him.

“Go and bring Serrah Hawke,” Dorian told the healer. “He’s right, his lyrium might make healing him difficult.” 

He waited until the healer had taken off before speaking to Bull in Tevene. “You should go as well. Hawke will not be pleased when he sees this.”

“No, I’ll deal with him when he arrives. He’ll be right to be furious but it was an accident.” Bull knelt down by Fenris, his gaze gentle as he took in what he’d done. 

“I can help set it, had a bit too much practice in Seheron. If you’d let me.” Bull offered,

“Let him, Fenris,” Dorian urged. “The pain of your bone being misaligned will abate.” he didn’t tell him that the setting was going to be the worse part, but he was sure Fenris already understood that. 

Cassandra had gotten to her feet and touched Dorian’s shoulder for a moment. “I saw it, it was an accident,” she said. 

Dorian felt a wealth of gratitude to her for that. But he knew her support wasn’t going to mean a thing to Hawke.

“Fine...just put me out first.” Fenris rasped before he laid back, closed his eyes and waited.

Bull remained to the side, his expression grim as he watched Dorian get to work. 

The sleep spell was a simple one, but when it reacted with Fenris’ markings, it caused a reaction that in retrospect, Dorian knew he should have seen coming. Power swelled inside him, and he closed his eyes on a small moan, his lips spreading in a smile. 

Bull grabbed Dorian as he swayed away from the elf and towards the grass, his expression far too happy.

The laugh that burst from Dorian’s lips was just shy of an actual giggle. “Bull… Would you be so kind as to get me out of here before I embarrass myself?” 

Bull picked Dorian up and hefted him across his shoulder like he was a sack of potatoes, and turned to see Hawke barreling down the stairs towards them. 

Dorian pushed himself up as much as he could, angling his head this way and that. “Put me down, Bull,” he slurred. He’d only gotten a moment’s look at Hawke’s face, but it was enough, and he didn’t want to be unable to defend them if things should go bad.

“You can’t even stand up straight, hush.” Bull said as he waited to see how furious the former Champion was.

Hawke skidded to a halt next to Fenris as he peppered the healer with rapid fire questions. It took every bit of restraint Bull had not to yell at the mage for interrupting the healer’s work.

Dorian, set over Bull’s shoulder as he was, couldn’t see Hawke. But he could hear him, hear the way his voice became mroe and more aggitated. Skyhold was old, and if Dorian was pushed, he’d seek out every corpse and spirit that lingered and call them forth. He didn’t blame Hawke for being upset, but he wasn’t going to allow him to blame Bull either. Accidents happened, especially on the practice yard. 

Bull set Dorian down so he sat against a wall, then went over to Hawke to get the mage to calm down. “Berating the healer ain’t gonna help Hawke.” 

“You did this, why? Because I threatened your plaything?” Hawke snarled.

“Plaything?” Dorian said as he sagged against the wall. “That denotes that he isn’t _my_ plaything.”

“Shut up, I’m talking to this lummox.” Hawke snapped. “So why did you break his arm?”

“It was an accident, I lost focus and didn’t pull back, I assure you it wasn’t intentional, else he’d be dead.” Bull replied.

“I put him to sleep, and the healer is helping him,” Dorian said. “He’ll be right as rain when he awakens.” He gave Hawke what he hoped was an assuring smile, but what he feared came out more of a drunken leer.

“You’re drunk off his lyrium...typical.” Hawke glanced back to see the other mage continued their work once he’d been distracted.

“You will repay this unkindness Qunari.” Hawke poked Bull hard in the chest as he spoke, his anger overrode any hint was in danger.

“To him, yes. You, I’d appreciate it if you stopped that.” Bull glared at the brunet mage, his tone far too casual for a man that was a hair's breadth from violence.

“And I would appreciate if all of you stopped,” Cassandra said from behind them. “Fenris is being tended to, it was an accident. If he feels that Bull needs to compensate him for it, that is between the two of them.” 

Hawke glared at Bull one last time before he turned to sit with his lover. 

Bull gave Cassandra a grateful nod before he scooped Dorian up and headed for the Altus’ room instead of his own. “How long until you aren’t high on the elf’s lyrium?”

“No idea,” Dorian said honestly. “I’ve dabbled in using lyrium to augment my powers, and when I was younger to create euphoria, but never like.... never like this.” The smile slipped off of Dorian’s face. “What did that mad man Danarius do to him?” 

“From the looks of it, flayed him, and decorated him with lyrium all over. He’s ...abnormally strong and can do things we’ve never seen. Heard of him through the Ben Hassrath reports, but never saw him fight till’ we sparred. We’ll settle our debt without Hawke’s interference.”

Bull set Dorian down so the mage could let them in, one hand to steady the way the Tevinter swayed as he searched for his keys.

“I should find Danarius’ corpse, raise it, and then kill him all over again,” Dorian muttered darkly. “Why do my people always seem to want to cause so much damned pain?” He finally managed to insert the key into the lock and opened the door. 

His mood wildly swung from morose to giddy, and he couldn’t seem to find his balance. He felt full of power, and could see how someone like Fenris could be more dangerous to a mage than just with what he could do with a sword. 

Bull watched him as his mood went up and down as well as his pacing around the room. “You want me to stay? Seems like your wound-up but sex probably is a bad idea while you’re...like this.” 

“Sex is always a good idea.” Dorian stopped in his tracks. “And I’m finding that is more true when it’s with you.” 

Bull’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Normally I’d already have you pinned under me, but you’re ...off right now. Too up and down, I’d, I’d rather wait till this has worn off.”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “Why do you have to have ethics when it comes to these things. Can’t we just fuck and have a good time without all of this…” he waved between them. 

“I’d rather not have you bawl all over me when I’m balls deep in you either.” Bull tried to tug Dorian to the bed but was rebuffed. 

“That! That’s what I’m talking about right there. What is this, Bull? what are we doing? Why should I even care if I cry in front of you, other than I would be exposing myself if I did? Why do i even want to?” He tapped at his chest. “What are you doing to me?” 

“Right now? Trying to get you to calm down and talk to me. Not set the curtains or me on fire.” Bull grabbed for Dorian again, and pulled him down to the plush bed. “Now, what do you want from me?”

“I don’t know,” Dorian said in a stricken whisper. “Why you? Why now?” it was as if for the first time since he had walked into Bull’s chamber the night before, Dorian was really examining what it was he was doing. 

Or more over examining. 

Bull pulled Dorian close to him, ran his fingers down the mages back in an attempt to relax him. “Why not me? I’d say you left satisfied the other night.” 

“Because if I give into this… if I allow myself to hope for something that isn’t there…” Dorian hated this. He wasn’t good at speaking about his feelings, not when it came to things like this. 

“What do you mean?” Bull asked as he massaged the back of Dorian’s neck, worried about how he had begun to carry on. Even when drunk, the mage hadn’t been so, open and fearful.

“This… what you and I do together, that’s one thing, but you want to hold me, encourage me to cry if I need to, tell me that you don’t want fuck me because I’m drunk on lyrium. Most of the men who I’m with wouldn’t care one way or another, and I’m not sure what to do with this.” 

Dorian turned away, his mood low again as he pondered Bull’s words while the Qunari massaged him. His brooding gave way to sleep as the lyrium high wore off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Us, write a short fic? HAHAA! No, really we've plotted out the rest and it didn't quite fit into 2 chapters. So double the pleasure, double the fun.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian and Hawke are two nugs in a pot, Fenris and Bull aren't much better. The Demands of the Qun arise and Lisbeth Trevelyan has to make some tough decisions to keep the peace.

The next morning found Dorian with more than a few regrets. He had followed and spied on Bull like some love-sick child who didn’t understand what in the Void a boundary was, then he had behaved like an ass in front of half the keep.

Dorian walked swiftly down the stairs that would take him to the main hall. The Maker, Andraste, his Ancestors, the Creators, and deities he had probably ever even heard of were more than likely embarrassed for his display last night in Bull’s chambers. 

“‘No masks,’ he says,” Dorian mumbled to himself in Tevene. “‘Just let go,’ he tells me. As if it were simple.” 

Fenris and Hawke had settled in a corner to have a quiet breakfast, Hawke’s mood and glower kept anyone who was curious about the Champion away. Fenris sighed as he slowly ate, careful of his newly healed arm.

Dorian had paused in the doorway and carefully smoothed down his clothing, brushed his hand over his hair to make sure it was in place, and then ran a finger over his mustache, before he straightened his shoulders and made his way over to Hawke and Fenris. 

Things had gotten even more out of hand, and he was determined to fix it as he had promised he would. A Pavus always kept his promises. Oh, they might do everything they could to not follow the spirit of said promise, but they would eventually, in time, with some complaining, fulfill them. 

He stopped when he reached the table and gave them both a courtly bow. “Gentlemen,” he said when he rose. “I hope you are doing well, Fenris.” He could hear how the silent the room had become, and how every eye in the room was on them. Ah well, let them look, Dorian had always thought a meal wasn’t a meal unless people were being entertained. 

He just hoped it wasn’t by the sight of his guts on the floor.

Fenris shrugged and continued to pick at his meal. “Been better, I’m a little sore but I’ll heal. I heard you were affected by my...lyrium.” 

Hawke glared but remained silent, he’d promised Fenris that he’d let him handle whatever came of the sparring accident. He hated it, but he knew if he coddled the elven fighter it would be much worse.

“It was… interesting. I spent some of my youth dabbling with lyrium and it’s effects on mages, but I hadn’t ever felt it that strongly before. it was quite heady. You were right to warn me to wait for Hawke. I fear I might have embarrassed myself.” He kept his tone light and conversational.

“At least you tried to help, I do appreciate that. I was not at my best due to the pain, apologies for anything I might have said to you.” Fenris sipped his tea with a glance to his lover.

Hawke smiled tightly but kept quiet as he’d agreed.

“I should have stopped it sooner. Bull was not at his best either yesterday, but I will leave that for the two of you to speak of. And you said nothing that you need to apologize for.” Dorian’s lips twitched under his mustache. “You have someone who cares about you in your lover, though. He was very concerned for you.” 

“Still am…” Invictus muttered before he felt a sharp pinch to his thigh. “Thank you for what you did until I arrived.” he said with a forced smile.

“What Vic meant is thank you, we appreciate it. If you see Bull, please let him know I’d like a word.” Fenris spared one last glance to Vic before he rose to leave.

“I will,” Dorian said. He hesitated before he spoke again. “I also wish to speak with you when you are ready. But only when you are ready. Maybe there is nothing left for either of us to say, but I would like to make sure we have no lingering misunderstandings between us.” 

“That is fair, I’ll seek you out when I am ready. If you will excuse us Dorian.” with a nod of his head Fenris headed off to their room to rest. 

Invictus gave Dorian a final glare before he followed his lover.

Dorian’s eyebrows rose. He could handle Invictus’ anger as long as it didn’t affect anything else. 

Bull wandered in to find Dorian with Lisbeth and the others, he found the mood a little more somber than usual. 

“What happened already? It’s barely past the tenth bell and you all look like an Archdemon showed up for breakfast.” Bull tried for levity as he took in the expressions of everyone in the group.

“Lisbeth is being stubborn, that’s what,” Cullen said as he stabbed his fork into his food. “And so is Dorian.” He pointed his fork full of eggs at them both. “She keeps asking him if Hawke is going to be a problem. He keeps saying that he won’t be. She won’t admit just how badly we need Hawke, and Dorian won’t admit just how much of a problem Hawke is.” 

“It’s not that bad, Curly,” Varric started. 

“No? You’re forgetting, Varric, that I dealt with Hawke in Kirkwall. I know how he can be. I’ve also seen what happens when people vie over him for any influence he might have. Don’t get me wrong, it’s considerable, but I’ve seen the damage that can be caused.” 

“So you’re telling me to inform him that he needs to go,” Lisbeth said. 

“No.. I…” Cullen sighed. “I’m just saying that Hawke is a force of nature, and you need to be careful, both of you. He can do us some good, but it might not be in the way you want.” 

Dorian rolled his eyes. “It’s not that bad and nothing I can’t handle. Please, all of you act as if I have never had a mage angry with me before. At least he will have the courtesy to try and kill me to my face instead of hiring assassin’s to do it in my sleep. 

“Besides, I’m not such a bad fellow. Maybe he’ll warm up to me.” 

“And maybe Gatt will stop giving me the hairy eyeball for being seen in your company.” Bull muttered as he slipped into the space made for him between Cullen and Dorian.

“A hairy eyeball sounds unpleasant.” Dorian’s lips curled in alarm. “Do you think he needs a healer?” 

Lisbeth snorted and smacked him on the shoulder. “You’re changing the subject.” 

“Am I?” Dorian asked in mock surprise. “Then what do the rest of our esteemed companions think of this?” 

“I think that out of both you and Hawke, that one of you will bring more to the table than the other,” Solas said mildly. 

“You didn’t say which one,” Dorian pointed out.

“I know… I thought it would be obvious which one I would prefer to stay.” 

“Nothing is obvious with you, you’re more of an enigma than the fucking Tamarrasan’s.” Bull casually let his fingers graze Dorian’s bare shoulder as he listened in to the conversations around the table.

“Does it really matter?” Sera asked. “One mage is as good as ‘nother right? Just depends on which one is less likely to blow us up and go all demon on us.” 

“That would be neither of them, well I’m more certain it won’t be our Vint’.” Bull replied as he gave the elven girl his own version of a hairy eyeball.

“Thank you for that vote of confidence,” Dorian said.

“I wouldn’t be certain,” Solas said as he sipped his tea. “I have seen the spells both of them cast.” 

“That’s practically high praise from you.” Bull murmured as he gave one last, lingering touch to Dorian’s shoulder before he reached over for more tea.

“Solas,” Lisbeth sighed. “We’ve spoken about this.” 

“So we have, Inquisitor, but I still do not agree with his methods of casting, no matter how much he tries to hide that he does it. I know it is happening.”

“What is he…” Cullen started. 

Lisbeth laid a hand on his arm. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Dorian let out an exasperated snort. “Really. I’m not consorting with demons, and that is not the issue at hand here.” 

He turned in his seat towards her and took her hands in his. “Lisbeth, dear, darling, do not worry about Hawke on my behalf. I appreciate it, and I adore the very ground you walk on for it, but I can handle myself. You need him. And I attempted to be self sacrificing about leaving so that he would be more willing to stay, but Bull informed me I was an idiot, so there went that idea. 

“I’m not leaving, and I hope Hawke will not leave either. Pay more attention to wooing him to our cause, yes?” 

“Yes, but--”

“But nothing,” he chided. “Did I not just give an impassioned speech? Don’t let it go to waste and just accept I know what I am doing most of the time.” 

“Wow, Sparkler, I almost believed that,” Varric said dryly.

“It’s too early for all this shit, bottom line is no one is leaving, especially not for your buddy, Tethras.” Bull shoved off from the table, his mood almost as dark as it had been the prior day. 

“I’ll catch you later, I’ve got an elf to make amends to.” 

“Good luck, Hissrad,” Dorian said with a sly smile. If Bull was going to continue to slip up and forget by calling him a Vint’, then Dorian was going to ‘forget’ and call Bull by another name as well.

“Point taken, Pavus.” Bull replied before he headed off to find Fenris. “Should have never let that slip.” he muttered to himself.

“You’re not really going to let him go off and talk to Fenris and Hawke on his own, are you?” Lisbeth asked. 

Dorian’s eyebrows drew down sharply. “Maker, no. What do you take me for? The lummox might be handy with a hammer, but when it comes to magic, he doesn’t know what he’s getting into, not completely.” 

“I’d stay out of it, Sparkler,” Varric warned. “Let them sort it out.” 

“I plan to.” Dorian rose to his feet. “But you’ll forgive me if I want to be sure that I will still have a qunari by the end of the day or that the Inquisition still has an ally in Hawke. I’m just going to observe.” 

Dorian knew he had promised himself to never follow Bull again like he had the day before, but he found himself moving out to the hall anyway. 

A Pavus might keep their promises, but that didn’t mean he had to keep them to himself.

Sera watched him go, her face screwed up in thought. “Wait… are they…” 

“Best not to ask,” Cullen groaned.

**  
Bull knocked twice and waited for the door to open, his hope that the elf would be alone. Luck was with him when the door opened and he was beckoned inside.

“Iron Bull,” Fenris said and awkwardly poured two glasses of wine, taking a seat at a small table. 

“Fenris, good to see you healed.” Bull waited until the elf sat before he did the same. “I suppose you have words you’d like to have about the accident?” the Qunari gazed at the other warrior with no fear but some concern with how things had started.

“You could have killed me,” Fenris started out, the words without inflection, just a statement of fact.

“I didn’t, but that doesn’t change what happened. What is it you wish in return?” Bull asked quietly as he wondered if this version of the elf is who Dorian had known in their youth.

“I was once a Fog Warrior,” Fenris said instead of answering. “I have fought Qunari before. I also fought them in Kirkwall. You could have killed me, or at least done more damage, but you did not. You pulled back at the last moment. I saw it in your eye when you realized you had gone too far. That does not excuse what was done, but I do know it was an accident.” 

Bull nodded before he took a sip of wine. “So you know it was an accident, I bet Hawke doesn’t care, and here we sit. I owe you, as is the way of warriors. What would you have in compensation for my transgression?” 

“I would have two things,” Fenris said as he sipped his wine. “I would have you train me without any limits. We can spar together whenever I wish. I haven’t fought like I did with you in years, and if we stay in the Inquisition, I’m going to need it to protect Hawke.

“The second, is that I want Dorian to stand before me and tell me the unvarnished truth. he says he has already, but I don’t believe him. I want to hear it, and I want you to hear it. Your lover is an Altus whose family owns slaves. He’s a Tevinter who is deeper into Minrathous politics than he has admitted to. House Pavus isn’t the small holding he says. One with your connections would know that.” 

“The debt is between us, what benefit is there in putting Dorian on the spot?” Bull asked, slightly worried by the elf’s request.

“The benefit is that no matter how witty or urbane he is, I don’t understand why I would have ever been with a Tevinter mage. I remember bits and pieces, but not enough to paint the whole picture that he has described. Hawke thinks he coerced me into a relationship, the truth would satisfy him as well. You can make it happen.” 

“Very well, I will ask Dorian to come clean. Will those things satisfy you?” Bull asked solemnly.

“They would,” Fenris acknowledged. 

“And if he won’t agree? There is a chance he won’t accept Fenris, since this is a debt of honor between us. I cannot assure you that he’ll agree to your request.” Bull nudged his glass away, the urge for drink gone.

“Then we will talk about that when and if it comes to it. Right now, I need to understand, and so does Hawke. Besides, don’t you wish to know what you have let into your bed?” 

“Who, not what.” Bull snapped. “I’m sure you’d rather not be called a thing if the boot was on the other foot. I’ll find Dorian and get back to you.”

**  
Dorian took a step away in resignation from the door he had been listening against. He hadn’t been able to hear everything, but he had heard enough. He had warned Bull that he would be used against Dorian, and the idiot hadn’t listened to him.

“So I should add eavesdropping to the list of things I don’t like you for, Pavus?” Hawke whispered in the other mage’s ear as he snuck up behind him.

It took everything that Dorian had not to jerk in surprise, but it was a near thing. “Hawke,” he greeted as he turned. “Should I add sneaky as a Crow to yours?” 

“If I was a Crow you’d be dead already. Just can’t break bad habits?” Hawke sneered at the other man, his grin malicious as he penned Dorian against the wall.

“You should really try to not sneer like that,” Dorian said in mock concern. “It does horrible things to your face and I can’t decide if I like it or not. You might want to back away from me, though. I have a tendency to take things like being pinned against a wall badly. At least if it’s not done by someone I plan on sleeping with.”

“Tender little Altus has some bite after all.” Hawke hissed as he stepped back and beckoned for Dorian to follow him down to another room. 

Dorian raised his eyebrow, but followed Hawke. it might be foolish, but it was better than being caught in front of Fenris’ door by the elf or Bull.

“I’ll have you know the only person to call me little is in that room with Fenris and that’s by comparison.” 

“I’m bigger than you, and by your admission more powerful.” Hawke reminded him as he shut the door. 

“So what did you hear? Something you must not have liked if your face is to go by.” Hawke circled Dorian as he spoke, his gaze never dropped from the other mage.

“You are more powerful, but I also know spells I would rather not use in Skyhold.” Dorian tracked Hawke with his eyes. “That restriction removed, and you would have to work harder to beat me.” He purposefully didn’t answer Hawke’s question. 

“Consider what I’ve seen in Kirkwall and after, whatever you claim to be able to do it doesn’t scare me. So, what did you hear?” Hawke asked again.

Dorian decided to go with the truth, Hawke was going to find out anyway. But before he did, he couldn’t stop a dig. “Asking the Tevinter for information is just as bad as listening in on it,” Dorian tutted. “But if you truly want to know, they seem to have to come to an agreement of sorts.” 

He filled Hawke in, all the while watching him sharply.

“I’m surprised he didn’t ask for your head but I trust my lover, so I hope you agree to the terms. I’d hate to cost the Inquisition any of its mages.” Hawke smirked as he made one final circuit around Dorian before he veered off for the door. 

“Leto gets what he wants either way. If I’m lying then he exposes me in front of Bull. If I am telling the truth, then you are appeased and so is he.” Dorian shrugged. “Why kill me when he can have that?” 

“Leto is no more, you’d do well to remember that. Especially if you respect whatever you had with him as a boy. I’ll await your confession at your earliest convenience, Altus Pavus.” Hawke bowed before he turned to go, his expression scornful as he could manage.

“And you would do well to decide why it is you hate me? Is it because you are worried for Fenris or is it because I was with him first, or maybe it was because I was with him at all?” Dorian mused, anger thrumming through him.

In reply, Hawke flicked a ball of ice at Dorian’s face, his expression furious.

Dorian winced when the ice connected, the cold seeping into his skin. “I have a thick skin, Hawke. I have promised that i would not be the cause of you turning down the Inquisition, but I also do have some pride. Don’t mistake my want of peace as cowardice.” 

“Next one will be a fireball, curb your tongue.” Hawke hissed as he called flame to his fingertips.

“Curb my tongue? You would be the first man who has ever uttered those words to me. Usually I am being told to apply my tongue more.” Dorian’s hand slowly moved towards the staff on his back.

Hawke didn’t try to be subtle as he unclasped his staff and shot another volley of ice at Dorian. “Let’s take this outside, if you dare.”

“Outside?” Dorian asked. He pulled his staff free. “I don’t think you’ll get that far.” With a shout he struck his staff on the stone floor. Wraiths rose up, groans slipping from dry lips. “No more restraints, Hawke.” 

“Just like I like it” Invictus laughed as he called up electricity instead of ice. “Elemental magic is my strongest suit, your necromancy doesnt impress me.”

“It will once I add your corpse to the number of dead I control. Do you have any idea how many are buried in Skyhold? It’s appalling really. And a lot of them are making their way to us right now…” 

From out in the hall they could hear screams of terror. 

“Don’t worry, I have control over them. I’m not some Nevarran necromancer who summons undead and leaves them to shamble.”

Hawke kept himself together, barely as he remembered his mother and how she shambled around at Quentin’s command. “My corpse will not be added to your number of minions, maleficar.”

“Maleficar?” Dorian threw his head back and laughed. “Really, Invictus, I expected a better insult from you. You’re disappointing me.”

The door behind Hawke suddenly cracked as the undead began to push against in trying to get through. 

Invictus whirled around, a fireball already launched as he backpedaled from the shambling corpse. He couldn’t control the wild magic he threw as more undead entered the room. “No...no, not this again...no.” he wheezed as he threw another fireball.

Undead, tattered furniture and curtains, it was all set ablaze. Dorian was heedless of the danger, pulling more and more undead through the broken doorway, his blood humming with magic.

Hawke threw more fireballs, his mind almost blank with remembered terror. Even the smell of singed ring velvet didn’t pull him from his frenzy, it wasn’t until flame no longer came at his command did he notice he was almost powerless. “No...they’ll get me...no.” he almost whimpered as he backpedaled right into a corner.

“What’s the matter, Hawke? I thought you were going to give me a fight?” Dorian taunted. 

“Enough!” Cullen pulled his sword free from yet another corpse and stepped through the doorway. 

“Both of you are done,” he hissed. He touched his fingers to his forehead and muttered a small prayer. 

When the smite slammed into Dorian he cried out in sudden alarm. Never in his life had he felt the severing of his magic like this. It was more than the feeling of a limb being cut off, more like he had suddenly gone deaf, mute, and blind. His staff clattered uselessly to the floor and he dropped to his hands and knees. 

The parts of the fire that had been magical went out immediately, and undead dropped to the ground, crumbling in on themselves.

Fenris came in right behind Cullen, his expression murderous as he sought out Hawke. He found his lover curled in a corner, almost in a daze. “Love?”

“Undead...undead, again. They’ll get me, Fenris, please love help me.” he whispered before he clutched onto the elf for security.

Cullen grabbed Dorian by the upper arm and hauled him to his feet. “I won’t be able to protect you from what you have done,” he said quietly to the mage. “I have to take you both to the dungeon.”   
“Is that necessary Cullen?” Fenris asked as he helped Hawke to his feet. “You know what happened to his mother, and Dorian’s particular brand of magic brought that back.” 

Bull lingered outside the shattered door for a moment before he saw Cullen handling Dorian. “Let me do that.”

“To the dungeon, Bull,” Cullen said firmly. “I know you two are together, but he needs to remain there until I can figure out how to quiet the fears of those who he just frightened by summoning damned corpses.” Cullen took a calming breath. “Do you understand? He goes straight there.” 

Dorian stared dully at Hawke and Fenris, watched the way Fenris tried to soothe his lover. Never in all his life had he done something like that to someone. He had never had to explain his use of magic either, scared people with it, people he lived with, or been treated as dangerous. Sure, the people of Skyhold distrusted him, but that was fear of the magisters, that wasn’t Dorian. 

This was.

“Fenris, please get us to our rooms.” Hawke whispered as he clung to the warrior.

“Hawke, I don’t think you can go there. You almost scorched this wing of Skyhold.” Fenris helped Invictus up as he looked to Cullen for what they could do.

Bull nodded as he scooped Dorian into his arms since the mage had made no move to leave the room. “You alright?” he asked softly as he headed for the dungeon.

Dorian stared at the corpses that littered the stairs and the main hall, how people shrank away from him as they approached. He laughed bitterly. “Blood will out, Bull. Any headway I had made here was undone in a moment of pride. Seems I can’t leave my heritage behind after all.” 

“This wasn’t heritage, it was stupidity. Both of you are idiots for this, and it will be a hard sell for Lisbeth not to send you all packing at first light. Now hush, let me get you settled and stay until Cullen kicks me out.” Bull sighed as he caught sight of the door, his expression grim as the guardsman let him in.

Fenris wasn’t far behind, Hawke trailed along in a daze as he tried to get himself together.

The floor of the dungeon was still under repair, so half the cells weren’t usable and there was a large hole that dropped off down the mountain. Dorian was just glad it wasn’t winter, or else he was going to look forward to a colder night than he already was.

He felt Bull hesitate at one of the cells, and Dorian sighed. “Put me down, Bull, and then close the damned door behind me.”

Bull did as he was asked, worried at how Dorian had slipped from fright to angry resignation. 

Dorian turned to face Bull through the bars. “You know, this goes both ways. No masks for me, and none for you. I… I followed you yesterday to the tavern, and then I followed you and listened in on your conversation with Fenris. Nasty habit of mine, but I realize that you’ve shown me a lot of trust to not kill you in your sleep, which is more than a lot of people here have, and I seem to have betrayed it already.” 

He curled his fingers around the bars. “I’m sorry, Bull. It wasn’t well done of me, none of this has been.” 

“Then you know what Fenris wanted. Better question is why did you fight with Hawke? The truth Dorian.” Bull huffed tiredly.

“Because he’s an insufferable ass, and he reminds me a bit of myself without the Tevinter polish my parents paid good schools for. I might not take most insults to heart, I usually don’t care what people think of me, but a man can only go so long with being talked at the way he speaks to me.” 

Dorian crossed his arms over his chest. “To be frank, I wanted to put him in his place. How very Vint’ of me.” 

“What now? You have to know you’ve put Lis in a bad spot with your stunt.” Bull snorted as he paced in front of the bars. “What’s with that Vint’ of you bullshit?”

“It was Vint’ of me because the truth is that I was angry because he kept speaking to me as a slave. How much of a hypocrite does that make me? So what did I do? I created chaos in the Keep to show him that I wasn’t. The man didn’t even say anything too untowards, but his tone…” Dorian ran his finger over his mustache. “That was my snapping point, Bull.” 

“Spoke to you as a slave? Do you hear yourself? A slaver your damned self!” Bull snarled.

“I know, dammit! I know.” Dorian rapped his knuckles on the bars. “And here I am with a smite cutting off my power and behind bars like a southern mage. I’m getting a taste of several different medicines right now, and I’m finding that they are very enlightening, although foul tasting going down.” 

“Remember that sour taste later, when we talk.” Bull glared at Dorian, disappointed at how he’d behaved.

Dorian took a step back from the bars. “And yet you are still here and willing to have a later with me in which to talk. I don’t understand you, Bull.” 

“Not the first time I’ve heard that Pavus and it won’t be the last, I’m sure. Sit tight, I’ll be back with blankets for you and your buddy.” Bull said in annoyance. He wasn’t going to give up on Dorian but he was done for the day.

“Buddy?” Dorian turned his head to see Hawke in the cell next to him and Fenris on the other side of the bars, both pairs of eyes on him. 

“Ah… Well I guess I can’t pretend I had that conversation with Bull.” He straightened his shoulders. “Hawke, I hope I didn’t harm you and I apologize for pushing you as I did. That wasn’t well done of me and incredibly dangerous.” 

Fenris shook his head as he tended to Hawke, his expression still furious at what Dorian had pulled. “I ought to take your heart for what you did back there.”

“Maybe you should. But I would really prefer you didn’t. Lis and Cullen are going to have a hard enough time trying me without making me a corpse first.” 

Dorian squatted down next to the shared bars of his and Hawke’s cell. “Hawke… What I did was unforgivable. Cullen will make sure I pay for the terror Inflicted on the keep, but you have to tell me what I must to in order to pay you for yours.”

“Leave me be for now, I can’t...I can’t talk to you.” Hawke said before he turned away to face the wall and shut them all out.

“Love...he didn’t know, it’s not as if he tried to traumatize you. I’m still furious but it wasn’t like he tried to make your worst fears come alive.” Fenris said quietly.

Dorian stood and walked to the other side of his cell. “I’ll ask that you be the one who decides my punishment,” he said more to himself. “It’s only right. That is, if Lis and Cullen would agree.” 

But Dorian knew that they wouldn’t. Lis would be herself and try to defend him, while Cullen would be angry and want him punished for it. They would argue, and that too would be laid rightly at Dorian’s door. 

He buried his face in his hands. “Maker… The mess you have made this time, Dorian Pavus.” 

“Tell him, so he knows what he did to me. Then let me be for a while, I need space Amatus.” Hawke whispered.

“As you wish, I won’t be far.” Fenris kissed him on the cheek before he turned to face his former...something. “Once Bull returns, I will explain why this was so devastating.”

“Other than the obvious?” Dorian asked.

“Yes. more than the obvious. Vishante Keffar, malum...you damned idiot.” Fenris snarled as he slipped out to wait for Bull’s return.

Dorian went to a corner and leaned against it, crossing his legs at the ankle while he watched Hawke. There were things he wanted to say, but he knew that Hawke wouldn’t hear of it, not now, and maybe not ever after what had happened. 

Once Bull entered the cell block, Fenris paced around as he retold the story of what happened to Leandra, the fight with Quentin and to a degree what happened afterward. How Hawke struggled to recover but ever after had problems with the undead. He finished quietly, his gaze flickered back and forth between Hawke’s still form, Bull and Dorian.

“Ah…” Dorian pushed away from the wall, and approached Hawke’s cell. “Then my apologies won’t mean much for reminding you of something painful.” 

“Leave me be, just leave me alone for now, Pavus.” Hawke replied tersely.

“I’ll return after I’ve helped the Commander put things to rights. Bull, I will speak with you after the dinner hour.” Fenris headed off with a heavy heart, his mind ill at ease and his stomach twisted.

Dorian had turned away from the bars to pace his small cell. “This will not end well,” he told Bull.

“No, no it won’t. I’ll be back later. Don’t get into another fight while I’m gone.” Bull left them alone with a last, long look at both mages and a long shake of his head.

“Fighting would imply that he would be willing to speak to me,” Dorian muttered to himself. 

Hawke remained silent for a long time after their lovers had gone, until finally he rolled over to see if they’d been brought a meal. “Least Cullen could do is feed us.”

“I could do with some of that lovely roasted hen from the kitchen. Do you know that I believe it’s one of the best meals I have ever had in my life? Don’t tell anyone, though.” Dorian kept his tone light and conversational. 

“Too hard to believe a mere bird could sate your hunger? Or is it too plebian for the Altus?” Hawke snapped, his annoyance back as he prowled his cell.

“That roasted hen is no ‘mere bird’, Invictus. Have you tried it? It’s delightful.” Dorian smiled to himself. “Why I would love to kidnap the cook and take her back to Minrathous with me. I wouldn’t tell a soul what they were eating until they were done in order to see the looks on their faces.” 

At least when Hawke was angry, he was talking. Dorian thought that was better than the silence. 

“Typical, instead of hiring her you’d plan to steal her away. Don’t get any ideas about Fenris either.” Hawke snapped as he kept trying to call fire, ice, anything to his palms. “Fucking smite, I hate it.”

“It is rather a disgusting feeling, isn’t it?” Dorian observed. He glanced down at his hands. “I’ve never felt it before. I feel numb, but it’s not my body that feels that way.” he didn’t bother to address Hawke’s accusations about Fenris.

“Poor Altus, never had the pleasure of a Holy Smite directed at you? Doesn’t feel good at all does it?” Hawke sneered as he finally sat still, his back to the wall and his eyes closed.

“It really doesn’t,” Dorian agreed. “Why didn’t you southern mages revolt before? I would like to think I would have instead of putting up with the fear of this over my head.” 

“As if it’s so very simple. There’s not a mage here that would try, well… there was and look what happened. Just stop thinking it’s so easy for your poor Southern cousins.” Hawke muttered.

“Oh? I don’t think it’s easy for you at all,” Dorian said quietly. “In fact, I think quite the opposite. Did you know the Imperium touts the story that our Southern cousins are either too weak to rise up and take their rightful place, or, my more favorite, that all of you are in bondage and one day the Imperium will return to our former glory and free you. As if we do not have slaves of our own.”

“Depending on who you asked, both could be true. Especially if you’d asked Anders before he blew up the Kirkwall Chantry.” Hawke replied tiredly.

“But there is a third, secret story, that since you southern mages are so weak to have had allowed your bondage, that it is our duty to keep any that cross our borders enslaved. A sacred right until that mage can prove strong enough to stand on their own. How many do you think die within the first year or stay a slave the rest of their lives?” 

Dorian’s lips curled in self disgust. “I’m starting to see how complacent I have been. I didn’t used to think I was, but seeing how things are in the south....” 

He sighed. “Anders… He’s the one who started all of this--the war? They like to say it was the vote of the College of the Magi, but I have also heard it really started with him.” 

“He cast the spell but if we’re being honest, it was a long, long time coming. With every mage that was abused instead of nurtured, with the year he spent locked away, with the hate nurtured in his heart from the time his power manifested...it wasn’t a sudden change, it was there and a lot of people are complicit. Much as I am loathe to admit it, we all had our part to play in what pushed him and those inspired him over the edge.”

“Two extremes,” Dorian said softly. “On one side, the Imperium with a Divine right for the mages to rule over all they can and cannot see. On the other, the Southern lands, where the Chantry has the Divine right to lock mages away, some treated better than others, surely, but slaves all the same. I had always thought myself a man who was more in the center of both extremes, but I can see that’s not true. I love my country, but how can I when people like Leto and Bull are caught between two clashing sides?”

“That sounds like something to figure out for yourself. I’m not one to give advice and have it mean a damn thing.” Hawke muttered. “If one of us screams will they bring us dinner?”

“They might think we are killing each other and ignore it. Or maybe they will think that the magister is performing horrible blood magic despite the smite and come running to save you.” 

“I don’t think you’d do blood magic, at least you can’t even with a smite. It’s not that powerful.” Hawke answered.

“I know that. _You_ know that. But how many here do you think knows that? Most of them still are calling me a magister. Besides, I’ve already called up undead in front of half the keep. Do you think explanations will matter anymore?” 

Dorian sat down on his cot. It was time he stopped dancing around what was really happening. “Whatever you think of me, Hawke, I do not have designs on Fenris. My word has apparently not been enough for you, though.” 

“He’s grown and I need to stop ...I need to trust his instincts. He can kill you in a flash, so if you were stupid enough to try it, he’d take care of it. I won’t trust any Tevinter mage when it comes to him. Especially now that I know you have a past.” Hawke threw his cup at the bars in a bid to get anyone’s attention.

“At some point, people will realize that I am a competent mage as well and am not so easy to kill,” Dorian sighed to himself. “And as you both are fond of reminding me, and as fond as I am of reminding myself, Leto is dead. Fenris might look like him, he might occasionally speak like him, but Leto, my Leto, is gone.”

“Competent mage or no, you can’t know how fast he is. How swiftly he can kill no matter your powers or mine.” Hawke replied before he turned to gaze at the other mage. “For what it’s worth, he’s sorry he can’t recall you fully, what you clearly must have meant to each other then.” 

“No, if he clearly recalled me, he would hate me more. You think me vain and foolish now, you did not know me then. I truly thought I could have him at my side and keep my position in society. I believed the lie that I was an Altus, and none but the magisters could stand above me to tell me what was right or wrong. But that wasn’t true, and Leto paid for my lesson.” 

Dorian glanced down at his hands. “And I can know how swiftly he can kill, how powerless a mage can be against him. Do you think that I had only ever seen him as Leto and never as Fenris? He lived in Minrathous for years. Danarius took him wherever he went as a guard. We never spoke, but I did see him kill. Danarius did love to set his examples.”

He looked up and met Hawke’s eyes. “Do you know what it is like to see someone you love have the light of any feeling or life go out in their eyes? Fenris was capable of extreme cruelty on Danarius’ behalf, he had half the magisterium frightened because he controlled such an elf. That’s no easy task. But you, Invictus, you brought some of that feeling and life back in his eyes. I saw it go out once, and I never wish to see it again. Why do you think I fought so hard to keep the truth from you both? I didn’t wish for him to remember me and hate me more, and I wanted him to keep that love he found with you. I won’t ever take that from him. I owe him that much at least.” 

"Thank you, I appreciate that. It can't be easy to see us, to know what was lost." Hawke gave up on throwing things to get someone to bring the food.

“I admit I hated the sight of the two of you at first, but some good did come out of it for me. I never would have set foot in that tavern and gotten drunk. I wouldn’t have been looking so pathetic that the Iron Bull of all people came to speak to me. So I can’t be angry or bitter anymore, can I?” 

Dorian knew he was talking about his relationship with Bull as something more substantial than a few good fucks, and with someone else besides Bull. Dorian braced himself for the choking fear to come of what Hawke would think of him.

But it didn’t come, and Dorian found that freeing.

"You and the Qunari? Colour me shocked," Hawke murmured

“It is shocking, isn’t it?” Dorian laughed. “But I’m finding that I don't care what people think about him being a qunari, and more that he’s with a Vint’. He has more to lose than I do.” 

He absently smoothed back his hair. “But I digress. I wish to end this animosity between us. I have behaved badly, and I will endeavour to remedy that.” 

Hawke hummed and nodded in agreement. "Very well, it will save Fenris a speech. "

“And I would love to spar with you sometime. I hate to admit this, but for a moment I was having fun. Before all the fire and the shambling dead.” Dorian stuck his hand through the bars for Hawke to take. 

Invictus eyed the other mage’s hand for a moment then took it. "I was too, for a few minutes."

“Ah, if I had only known you in another time. The trouble we would have gotten into, and the fun we would have had doing it.” Dorian’s lips curled in a wistful smile.

"I sincerely doubt it.

Dorian laughed. “Then you haven’t experienced my version of fun.” He was so used to speaking in euphemisms, that it didn’t occur to him that Hawke truly might not understand the light flirting. 

"Oh I'm sure I've had your version of fun, especially in my youth." Hawke quipped. He was tired, hungry and still off-kilter from being smote earlier.

Dorian laughed again before slowly withdrawing his hand. “Shall we start yelling now in order to finally get some food?”

“If it works, I’ll be happy.” Invictus stretched out on his back, gaze on the ceiling as he tuned out the other mage;s voice.

“Fine, then I’ll be sure to scream out my ecstasy. Let’s see how fast they come running then.” Dorian gripped the bars in his hands with a wicked gleam in his eyes before he started to moan loudly. 

“What are you doing?” Vic called out as he shot over to Dorian’s side of the bars. “Maker stop it.”

“Getting someone to look in on us so we can get some food,” Dorian explained in between moans. “Besides, it has occurred to me that our fight wasn’t just me, yet I have done most of the apologizing. I will take what I can get in revenge.” 

“Fenris is going to murder me, stop that right now.” Hawke groaned as he turned away and tried to pretend Dorian didn’t sound like he was having a great time.

Dorian began to shout in Tevene, lacing his words with his desire, groaning the filthiest things he could think of interspersed with Hawke’s name.

“Maker, strike me deaf or just kill me before Fenris hears him.” Hawke covered his ears and turned away in the hopes Dorian would stop soon.

Dorian’s grin widened at Hawke’s embarrassment. The door to the dungeon finally slammed open and Cullen came marching in. he stared resolutely at the floor, his hands clenched into fists at is side. 

“Maker help me, both of you better be clothed, and I don’t want to know how you got out of your cells, or used the bars between your cells, or…” The commander seemed to choke on his words.

Dorian threw back his head and laughed.

“You are evil, Pavus, just evil.” Hawke sniped.

“But oh so handsome,” Dorian said lightly. “You are safe, commander. But we were wondering when we would get fed.” 

Cullen finally looked up, his eyes dark with fury. “For that stunt and the one you both pulled earlier, you’re going to be lucky you get fed tonight at all. But I will have food brought to you, since Lisbeth would never let me hear the end of it if I didn’t.” 

“Wouldn’t want her angry. But she does get the cutest little frown when she is.” Dorian winked at him.

“I would love to hear you tell her that,” Cullen said darkly. “Preferably in front of me.” 

“Unless you want to get Smote again, I’d not sass our dear Commander.” Hawke cautioned.

“Good to see one of you remembers who I am and what I once was,” Cullen muttered. “Just keep your heads down until I can figure out how to fix this mess you have both landed in my lap. We have templars here that want you two punished for what you did. And it doesn’t look good for the Inquisition that two of our mages couldn’t control themselves right in Skyhold.” 

Dorian’s smile fell away. “You’re right. I’m sorry. For everything.” 

“You say you’re sorry a lot, Dorian, but we need to see it.” Cullen sighed. 

“I’m not a part of your group Cullen, and I’ll guess that the lady Trevelyan may not want me to still remain after our row.” Hawke replied as he watched Dorian rather than the former Knight-Commander.

“You’re a guest here, and you’re not as well loved by all,” Cullen reminded him. “Some here remember you from Kirkwall, and not all of them were fans of the Champion. You just gave your enemies an excuse to condemn you.” 

“I just solidified their reason you mean. Or should I say your reasons, Commander? I know you never cared for me in Kirkwall and you tolerate me here on the Inquisitor’s indulgence. Speak plainly Commander, I’m a captive audience after all.” Hawke stared at the blond former templar finally, gaze defiant as he waited for an answer.

“Then I’ll speak plainly. You made my job harder in Kirkwall than it needed to be. You went behind my back and did things that, by all rights, should have gotten you dragged into the Circle at the very least. You did help, but you did it without informing me what you were up to, only when you had no choice. You knew Anders was dangerous, you knew that Meredith was as well, yet I was one of the last to know. You gambled on being able to take care of things yourself, and we’re lucky more people didn’t die.

“I was Knight-Captain. It was my duty to protect the people of Kirkwall, to protect my mage charges, and to go through the proper channels, which I was trying to do, when Meredith first started to become unstable.”

“If you recall, I kicked Anders from our group. You want to be angry over him, go find Varric or anyone else who still spoke with him. I tried to tell you about Meredith, but no one listened to me, no one ever did.” Invictus snapped as he started to pace again.

“Don’t hold back, commander,” Dorian muttered. “Tell us how you really feel.” 

“Yes, tell me Cullen, get it all out since I can’t fight back or do so much as call a wisp in my defence.” invictus added in.

“Oh please, I won’t attack you,” Cullen snorted. “And I listened to you the few times you actually came to me. Why do you think Leliana was even in Kirkwall? She was there because I was finally able to get word to the Seekers that something was wrong.” 

“Well it did us all so much good in the end.” Hawke said bitterly. “Feel better now that you got that out? Anything else on your mind serah?” 

“Just that for once, can both of you listen to me and do as I ask?” Cullen all but pleaded. “What happened has ramifications and we’re trying to minimize them as much as possible.”

“Just give Fenris time to get himself together and heal if you’re kicking me out.” Invictus said before he flopped back onto his cot.

“Oh, I’m not kicking you out. We still want you both here. Unless you are going to leave of your own accord.” 

“And deprive the Inquisition of it’s handsomest mage?” Dorian asked. “No. I’ll be staying.” He didn’t add that he had another reason to stay in Bull now.  
“As you wish, but know the decision to stay is not mine alone. I won’t take that away from him, and if he wants to leave. We’ll go after our business is concluded.” Hawke replied before he curled on his side to rest.

“Then I’ll make sure someone comes by with some food shortly. Just keep your heads down until we can sort this out,” Cullen warned them again before he left.

“Ser, yes ser,” Hawke muttered angrily.

“You know,” Dorian said calmly, “I’m starting to wonder what Lis sees in him. I mean, he’s handsome and the things I wouldn’t do to that, but really now, we’re not children.” 

“That’s for another time, when we’re not in a cold cell, at his mercy. Wake me when food arrives.”

**  
A few meals, a horrible night spent in the drafty dungeon, a dressing down from Lisbeth, and over a day later, Dorian found himself examining the lock to his cell--or what he could see of it. 

“I need to get out of here,” he grumbled to Hawke his eyebrows drawn down in concentration. The other mage had been released a few hours ago, but had come back to the dungeon after Lisbeth and Bull had returned to Skyhold. 

“You heard what Varric said about what happened between Bull and the Qunari. Those damned bastards just tossed him aside because for a single moment in his life he didn’t show absolute loyalty to them, and instead chose to save the men and women in the Chargers.” 

Dorian cursed in Tevene. “Qunari… And they wonder why the Imperium don’t just crumple and join the Qun.” 

Hawke froze the lock, nudged it until it cracked and the door swung open with a grin. He nodded towards the stairway. “I think he needs a friend right now.”

Dorian’s lips curved on a slow grin. “Naughty, champion. Watching me try to escape is one thing, but helping me to do it…” He clucked his tongue. 

“You are wonderful don’t change,” he said while he stepped out of the cell.

“Go on, I’ll take the heat on this one.” Hawke waved him off before he headed off in the opposite direction.  
**  
It took Dorian some time to make it across the keep to Bull’s chambers. They would find out soon enough that he was gone, but he also didn’t want to get caught before he was able to get to the Qunari. 

He tried Bull’s door and found it wasn’t locked, pushing his way right in without knocking. He couldn’t afford to linger where others might see him. He knew he didn’t look his best, having worn the same clothes for almost two days and he pushed is hair back from his face as his eyes scanned the room, shutting the door quickly behind him.

Bull sat up and did a double take when he saw Dorian in his door. “When did they let you out?” he asked before he curled up on his bed again, his mood low.

“Hawke let me out. I heard about what happened and had to see you.” Dorian could hear how that sounded now, rushing to Bull’s side as he had, and he shrugged when he approached the bed. “Don’t make a thing of it. Are you all right?” 

“No...you should get back before Lisbeth or Cullen finds you. I’ll...I’ll be alright, eventually.” Bull turned over, a scrap of leather clutched around his fist as he tried to keep himself together but it was hard to do with the mage there.

“That’s not the way this works, Bull, or is it only me that has to be vulnerable when they need a shoulder to cry on? I came because I thought you would need one, and I want to be the one to give that to you.”

“You...I…” Bull faltered before he beckoned Dorian over to him so he could pull the mage to him. 

Dorian shifted on the bed so his boots weren’t on the sheets and he had his arms wrapped around Bull. It struck him how he couldn’t have Bull literally lean on his shoulder, his physicality made it impossible, but he would still hold the qunari.

“How did this happen? I can’t believe I’m a Tal Vashoth.” Bull sniffed before he curled around Dorian and let his anger go finally. He called for anything to help deal with his loss as he let himself feel the pain he’d locked in.

Dorian didn’t say anything at first other than a dew soothing murmurs. He knew the pain of being let go from a family, but he didn’t want to let any bias against the Qun bleed into his words. But to remain silent for too long wasn’t going to help either.

“You’re going to question yourself and your place in the world,” he said softly, “but you have a family that cares about you. You saved their lives, Bull.”

“It doesn’t matter, it just doesn’t matter right now.” Bull muttered as he tried to keep his anger away from Dorian.

“That you have them will matter in the days to come,” Dorian replied. “I’m sorry for what happened to you, Bull. There was no way to win.” 

“No, there wasn’t.” Bull agreed before he made himself sit up and stare at the ceiling. “What am I going to do?”

“Right now? Lay here with me, be angry and sad. Maybe we’ll have a good time before the sun comes up. Tomorrow, you might do the same thing, until one day it’s different and that’s okay.” Dorian quirked an eyebrow. “Listen to me giving out good advice. This doesn’t happen often so I would pay attention if I were you.” 

“Not in the mood, just lay with me?” Bull asked quietly as he stretched out again and tugged Dorian to his side.

“I did say maybe,” Dorian said lightly. he reached down and undid the laces on his boots before toeing them off and slipping the rest of the way into bed. 

“Get undressed, you’ve been in that cell for a couple of days and that armor is getting ripe.” Bull muttered as he stripped off and offered up the covers to the other man.

“And how kind of you to point it out so tactfully,” Dorian said archly. He got out of the bed and began to undress. 

“I left my tact on the Storm Coast. There’s a basin if you want to use it.” Bull replied quietly. He was too off kilter for their usual quips but he didn’t care at the moment.

Dorian padded naked over to the basin. He heated the water slightly with what little magic was starting to come back after the last smite Cullen had inflicted on him, and then went to work getting himself cleaned up. The smell of soap and water filled the air along with the sound of the flannel he was using being wrung out and dipped back into the basin.

Bull remained quiet, subdued as Dorian got cleaned up. He didn’t have words or a joke, or even a bad attempt at flirting to make the quiet less awkward. Instead he tried to block out what he felt, even as he knew the mage wanted to help. How could he help him? Who could help with his loss? Not many understood the Qun, or didn’t want to.

Dorian rubbed a drying cloth over his body and hair before he raked the dark strands back with his fingers and then picked up the straight razor. He examined the edge and then started the process of getting a thick lather along his jawline.

He was finding the ritual of grooming to be soothing, and it gave him a moment to think.

“Careful, I keep that sharp.” Bull muttered as he watched Dorian rid himself of the dark stubble that graced his jawline.

Dorian smiled at Bull through the mirror before he scraped off more of the lather and stubble. “Talk to me while I do this,” Dorian asked quietly. he hoped the mirror and that Dorian couldn’t respond much, might make Bull more likely to want to get what he was feeling out.

“I’ll wait, don’t want you to slip up while there’s a blade close to that face of yours.” Bull watched intently as the mage continued on with his shave. He didn’t say anything as he watched the careful way Dorian scraped dark, short hairs away with a flick of the blade.

When Dorian was done he wiped away the rest of the lather and turned to walk back to the bed, feeling more human. “I’ll be here for you as long as they allow me to be,” he assured Bull.

“That’s all I’ll ask for now. Don’t know what I need if I wanna be honest. Just...stay for now.” Bull asked tiredly

“Done,” Dorian agreed. He slipped back into bed and pulled the covers over them both. “I wish I knew how to help you, Bull. What to say to make this better. But I know there is nothing I can say or do to make this right. I can be here for when you need me, and to remind you that you aren’t alone.” 

“Thanks.” was all Bull had to say before he closed his eye, pulled Dorian to him and pretended he was fine for a while longer.

**  
Cullen considered himself to be calm in the worst and best times, a man who had studied most of his life to become a templar that would uphold the duties and oaths of the order. When he left to join the Inquisition, he had been named commander, and been known for being cool under fire. 

But his nerves were frayed after months without his lyrium, and when he had found the door to Dorian’s cell open, the mage gone, and ice still on the lock. Now Cullen knew he could have taken the obvious signs and blamed Dorian solely, but the mage couldn’t have had enough magic yet to cast an ice spell that could shatter iron. 

Hawke on the other hand, had been released earlier in the day, and had been seen coming down to the dungeon around the time Cullen thought Dorian had gone missing. 

So when he spotted Hawke wandering aimlessly down a forgotten corridor, Cullen was a bit more abrupt than usual.

“Champion!” he called. The sound echoing off the crumbling stone.

Hawke turned and gave the former templar a put upon stare. “Commander?” he replied.

“Where is Pavus?” Cullen asked bluntly when he approached. 

“Not in my pockets, why don’t you check his room or that cubby he’s claimed on the second level Cullen.” Hawke snapped in response. He didn’t appreciate being cornered, especially by an angry templar.

“I know you let him out, Hawke. Skyhold is being searched as we speak, but I thought I would ask the one who opened his door where he went and save us some trouble.” Cullen crossed his arms over his chest. 

Invictus rolled his eyes before he glanced over the blond’s shoulder. “Likely with Bull, so let them be for one day. What Bull went through has to be hard, don't take that from him too.”

“Dorian Pavus was in that cell for a reason. I can’t allow him to wander about because he wanted to go to his lover. I feel for them, but he shouldn’t have left.” 

“Maker you’ve gotten bitter since Kirkwall. Give them a damned break, drag Dorian out tomorrow but consider Bull and what he lost today. You want to yell at me, you’ll have to do it as I head back to Fenris. I’m tired and I need a bath.” Hawke stretched, eager to use his power if need be.

“I’ve become bitter?” Cullen asked. “If I’m bitter I think I have every reason to be, Champion of Kirkwall.” He stressed Invictus’ title. 

“Correction you were always bitter, it’s just more apparent now. Do you actually want to get into it with me as well? Or are you going to use me because I’m convenient?” Vic sighed as he readied himself for another row. 

“Convenient?” Cullen scoffed. “You were never that. For Maker’s sake, Hawke, you come into the Keep and suddenly I have my hands full of your fights and the consequences. You also have never once asked me about Carver.”

“Carver made his choice when he joined your..order. Do not speak to me of my brother. That is one thing that will never, ever be alright for you to speak on. We’re done here.” Hawke’s voice had dropped low, his gaze darkened as he fought the urge to throw a fireball in the former templar’s face. 

“You will not do to the Inquisition what you did to Kirkwall,” Cullen said, pointing a finger at Hawke in warning.

“You’re right, and that wasn’t my intent. No need to bring down your righteous fury on me Cullen. Just leave me be, I need a bath and I would like to show Fenris I’m fine before he does go on a tear.” 

“I’ll be keeping an eye on you, Hawke. The Inquisition is too important for you and your lack of following rules to ruin.” Cullen knew he was doing exactly what hawke had accused him of--taking things out on him. But he hadn’t had the most pleasant day, and finding Dorian gone had tipped him over the edge. He did have unresolved issues as far as Hawke was concerned, but right now he couldn’t seem to see past them. 

“I doubt I could manage that, your lady would not allow it. Anything else you want to dump on me while I’m already down?” Hawke asked tersely.

“No, good evening, Champion,” Cullen said stiffly.

Hawke headed off towards the upper level, eager to find Fenris and a tub filled with hot water.

**

Dorian straightened his collar and lifted his chin, a friendly smile gracing his lips before he raised his hand to knock on the door to the Charger’s barracks. They had taken a section of the keep just behind the tavern for themselves, cleaning up the crumbling walls and making it a home. 

Cullen had managed to find him, but he and Dorian had come to an agreement. In a few days he would go before the Inquisition for sentencing, and he could roam the keep freely until then. 

Dorian was going to make sure he used his time wisely.

Krem opened the door to find the Tevinter mage about to knock again. “Boss is in his rooms if you’re lookin’ for him.”

“Yes,” Dorian said and flashed his smile at him. “I was looking for you and the Chargers actually.” He glanced behind him to the courtyard. “He doesn't know I’m here and I would rather keep it that way, yes?” 

“We’re not betraying him for you. State your business mage.” Krem’s voice had gone cold, any warmth he’d had for his fellow Tevinter gone in a heartbeat.

Dorian’s sigh was put upon. “If you insist. Look, he’s not been himself since what happened with the Qun. He needs to be reminded that he still has a place where he belongs, with people who lo--care about him. We can agree that he needs that reminder I hope.” 

Krem grunted in agreement and let Dorian enter. “Go on then, you’ve got my interest...for the moment.”

Dorian slipped inside and glanced around the crowded room. “All of you here then? Good.” Out of the corner of his eye he watched a mage hide their staff under their bed.

“Out with it then, what’s this plan of yours to show the boss we appreciate him?” Krem leaned against a pillar as he watched Dorian. He wasn’t sure about the mage, but he’d hear him out, for the boss’ sake. 

Dorian touched his index finger to his lips as he thought. “Good question, which is why i need your help. You know Bull better than anyone, really. You know what might work to get him out of this… whatever it is, this grief.” He stroked his finger along his mustache before he dropped his hand away. A nervous habit that he tried to pass off as an affectation. 

“A party, a night of drinking in the tavern? We rent the place out for the night and drink the best ale that they offer. we drag him out of his chambers to join us, let him see that he sacrificed himself for you because he cares about all of you, as much as I hope you care about him.” 

And that was the crux of the matter. Dorian didn’t know the Chargers very well. But if they cared half as much for Bull as he cared shown he cared for them, then this might work. 

“We can get Bull drunk anytime, closing down the place just for him will be more of a waste than anything. One thing will get him happy, every time.” Krem smiled wickedly, even as the groans of the other Chargers were heard.

“And that is…” Dorian asked apprehensively. He didn’t like the gleam in Krem’s eyes.

“The Boss reveres dragons, loves the hunt, the fight and then we get him home and drunk to celebrate. I’m sure Commander C can find us some on that fancy wartable map of his. You want to show you care too right?” Krem folded his arms and waited to see if the Vint’ would give up on this notion, or if he had the stones to do it.

“A dragon…” Dorian took an involuntary step back. “You want us to fight a dragon. A small drake perhaps?” 

“A High Dragon,” one of the Chargers piped up with a grin as wicked as Krem’s. 

“Ah…” Dorian drawled. “Well then…” He knew he had only seconds to decide just how far he was willing to go for Bull, and just how much faith he was going to put in Krem’s assertion that this was what Bull needed. 

“Brave new, horrifying world, Dorian Pavus,” he reminded himself. “All right then. A dragon it is. But I hope all of you know that if this kills me, you will be responsible for making sure that my wake is something tasteless and inappropriate or I will haunt you.” 

“I don’t know what the boss sees in you, but if you’re willing to do that for him, we’ll help. Won’t we Chargers?” Krem asked without turning, confident they would not let Bull down.

They shouted their agreement as one and Dorian could all but hear how his fate sealed. “I’m pretty to look at naked. Let’s just hope I stay that way after this fight.” 

“Keep it in your pants, go keep the Boss from sliding too far down the hole. I’ll find you tomorrow once we know where we’re heading to hunt.” Krem smiled deviously, eager to see if the mage could fight as well as he bargained. 

“Maker preserve me,” Dorian muttered in Tevene. “The big lummox adores all of you because you’re as bloodthirsty as he is.” 

“Yeah, remember that if you get it in your head to break his soft heart.” Krem replied in kind. “He’s ours, and we’re his family. Fuck with the boss, we’ll all be after you.” 

Dorian heard the dark murmur of agreement from the others and sighed. “Yes, because I have so much power. If you wish to find me I’ll be…” If he was going to be foolish enough to fight a High Dragon tomorrow, than Dorian knew he couldn’t stay the night with Bull. He would need all the sleep he could get.

“I’ll be in my chambers,” he finished. “It’ll be easy to find them. Just ask anyone where the whimpers of impending doom are coming from and they will point you right to me.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Go on, I’ll get you after breakfast.” Krem waved Dorian off before he turned to give orders for their hunting trip.

**  
Contrary to what he had said the day before, Dorian didn’t get as much sleep as he would have liked. he had spent the rest of the day and most of the evening reading every single book he could get his hands on about dragon slaying, and then picking Cassandra’s brain about it. 

He stood in the courtyard, the pouches on his belt filled with healing potions, his staff on his back, his mind full of what spells he would need to use, and his hair impeccable--if he was going to die than he was going to make a good corpse, damnit!

He tapped his foot on the ground in nervous impatience as he waited for the others.

Krem came around the bend, far too chipper about going after a High Dragon, and right behind him was Bull. The former Ben-Hassrath didn’t seem thrilled to be out of bed so early, but that was due to the fact Krem had hid their surprise from their leader.

“It’s barely after the ninth bell, why are we here Krem-de-la-Krem?” Bull asked tiredly, his arsenal of puns only half loaded thanks to him being not fully awake.

“You didn’t tell him?” Dorian asked dryly. “Of course not.” He spread his arms wide. “Surprise! We’re taking you out to kill a High Dragon. No, no, don’t thank us just yet, wait until we survive first.” 

“You, are coming with us to kill a High Dragon? Is that your penance from Curly?” Bull asked in surprise.

“It was his--” Krem was cut off from spilling the truth when he was nudged from behind by one of the other Chargers.

“It is,” Dorian said, the lie tripping off his tongue with ease. “But at least this way you’ll have two mages with you.” 

“I’m not a mage!” came the reply.

“I’m sorry, the staff just made me think you were one… silly me,” Dorian groaned. 

“It’s a bow, an ancient elven bow!” Dalish exclaimed as they headed out of Skyhold and towards the Hinterlands.

Bull chatted with his men as they walked for hours, his gaze landed on Dorian who seemed quieter than usual as they went. “Hey, Sparkler, mabari got your tongue today?’

“You have fought a dragon before, have you not, _Hissrad_?” Dorian asked. “I spent yesterday doing some research, and I think I might have soiled myself a few times.” 

“Not Hissrad...not anymore.” Bull replied softly as he dodged a low branch. “Yeah, I’ve fought a few but there’s nothing like it. Stay back and don’t get squished like the soft mage you are, should be fine.”

“You and I both know I am far from soft,” Dorian said archly. “And I will do my best to not be stepped on.”

“Rather not have to scrape you off some rocks and get you patched up.” Bull said fondly. 

“You and I both,” Dorian agreed. “I’m glad to see you out of your chambers, though.”  
“Eh, figured if it was enough to get Krem out of quarters before noon I might as well go. Good to get some fresh air at least.” Bull nudged at Dorian as they walked, a faint smile on his lips.

“Ah yes… ‘fresh air’. You know, I believe I was lied to in Minrathous. Ferelden doesn’t smell like dog in the slightest. It does have this fresh air you are so fond of.”

“Nah, it’s not bad here. Smelled more mabari in Seheron than it ever did here. Damned things are everywhere.” Bull slowed as Krem signaled for them to stop.

“Yes, she’s a beauty!” he bellowed as he saw the dragon shoot up and pinwheel around the valley.

Dorian’s eyes widened in horror as he craned his neck back to watch it. “I used to refer to my grandmother as a dragon. I’m starting to think I was right. I’m just as scared of it as I once was of her.” 

He pulled his staff from its place on his back. All around him the Chargers drew their weapons.

“Come on, Not-Mage,” Dorian called to the former dalish elf. “To the back with us in case this thing decides to land!”

“It’s a bow!” Dalish snapped as they spread out, Bull with his maul at the ready.

“And mine is a greatsword!” Dorian called out. The ground under them rumbled as the dragon slammed to the earth. It spread it’s wings out, the span far larger than Dorian had thought it could be, and opened it’s mouth in a challenging roar the mage was sure partially deafened him. 

“Focus, Dorian,” he reminded himself. 

“Give us a good fight!” Bull yelled as he rushed in to hack at the giant beast. “That’s all you got?” he bellowed with each strike.

It was then that Dorian realized something that should have been obvious to him. 

He was in love with the idiot. There was no reason other than that he would ever have found himself lifting his staff and summoning the dead the dragon had littered the glen floor with over the centuries, ready to face down this beast. 

He would have done it for Lis, but this… 

Bull looked like what he was facing off against the dragon--a great warrior, a man who was so much stronger in heart than most, that he gave what he could to those that did not think they had it in themselves. The Chargers, the Inquisition, Dorian… And Maker, Dorian loved him for it. 

He wasn’t about to let him die either. 

Bull was deep in the fight against the dragon. Every hit made him whoop with glee, each time she screeched and made the ground shake, his heart pounded. 

“Vashedan, you’re a tough one!” he cackled before headed into the fray again.

Dorian pointed his staff at the ground and spun on his heel in a quick circle. Spirits rose up, shimmering green and vaguely humanoid in shape. He turned and pointed his staff at the dragon. “Go!” he shouted. The spirits turned as one and flew straight at the creature, ice crackling around them, aided by Dorian. 

Bull grinned as the dragon continued to stagger under their onslaught, his cries of joy barely heard over the creatures screams of agony. “You’re going down!” 

Dorian couldn’t say how long the battle lasted, whether it seemed like hours because of how much power he was throwing into his spells, or it really was a fight that went on and on. The Chargers for their part worked together like a well oiled dwarven clock, barely speaking to each other because they just _knew_ how to work together. Dorian found himself slipping into their way of fighting, adapting to their almost unspoken strategies. 

His robes were slightly singed in a few places, and Dalish had hauled his ass out of the literal fire more than once, still, Dorian had found himself sinking into a place of total concentration, the panic that had consumed him at the beginning of the fight disappearing, and his mage training taking over. 

Bull slid into his own battle tempo, hack, slash,dodge until he was nearly in a dance with the others, one that would end with the dragon’s last breath.

It was Bull who landed the final, fatal blow, bringing his weapon down with a cry, slamming it on the dragon’s skull. The creature let out one last, ineffectual spray of fire before it crashed to the ground. 

Dorian was barely able to run out of the way when its wings slammed to the earth. He was exhausted, and for a moment he didn’t believe it was over. At least, not until he began to hear the cheers of triumph. 

“Ataaashi.” Bull snarled as he prowled around the creatures body. His blood roared in his ears, the rush from battle kept him on edge even after the dragon rattled it’s last. He turned to Dorian with a deviant smile, his expression feral, eager and wanton. “You did ...this for me?” he asked as he headed towards the exhausted mage.

A few of the Chargers clapped Dorian on the back and the mage shook his head. “It wasn’t my idea.” There was something about the way Bull was prowling towards him that had Dorian feel a little thrill of apprehension. 

Krem and the others moved towards the dragon to begin the process of taking it apart.

“Well, we didn’t just happen to head right to a nearby beast. You ...did this Dorian?” Bull growled as he tilted the mage’s face up towards him, his eagerness to reward the mage clear in his gaze.

Dorian, who usually looked most men in the eyes, averted his gaze. “You seemed as if you could use something that would cheer you up. Had I known it would be killing a dragon, I might have thought twice about asking the Chargers for help.” 

“You asked the boys? For me?” Bull nudged gently as Dorian’s face so the mage would look at him. “It helped, more than you know.” he leaned in to kiss the other man, but stopped, unsure if Dorian would mind the public display.

Dorian wrapped his free hand around Bull’s horn and drew him back down to finish the kiss he’d started. “I’m glad,” he muttered against his lips. “They love you a lot, you know.” 

“Yeah, wouldn’t trade em’ for anything.” Bull said as he reluctantly pulled back from their kiss. “I’ll show my appreciation, later, if you want.”

“That’s if my muscles decide I’m allowed to move them properly,” Dorian joked. He rolled his neck on his shoulders. “I have to say I was impressed with all of you. Especially…” Dorian awkwardly cleared his throat. “Especially you.”

“I’m not in charge for nothin’. Come on you softie, let’s help with what we can, then send scouts back for the rest.” Bull nudged Dorian along ahead of him, a smile on his face for what the mage had set up with his boys.

“Just don’t tell anyone,” Dorian pleaded. “I have a reputation as a frightening magister who summons the undead to maintain. As it is, I had to promise the commander that I would help bring down this dragon in order for him to even let me leave the keep. Seems it was terrorizing farms in the area.

“‘It would look good for the Inquisition and you, Pavus,’” Dorian quoted, doing a perfect mimicry of Cullen’s put upon tone.

Bull’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Not sure if that’s creepy or hot. Maybe both.” he replied.

“The commander does have his moments,” Dorian said with a laugh. They stopped next to the dragon’s corpse and Dorian’s lips curled in faint disgust. “And now comes the part where I realize we have to actually butcher the thing.” 

“Leave that to the Chargers, they’ve got it down to a method that’s amazing to see. Besides, you look ready to fall over.” Bull grinned as he watche Krem give orders while he worked to sever the creature’s head while Dalish worked on its scales. 

“I do not fall over. I will collapse in a visually appealing pile on the ground. But you do have a point, and it is a long walk back to Skyhold.”

“I gotta carry you back? Weak little mage legs about to give out on you?” Bull teased as he watched Stiches bag up the dragons eyes, claws and a few of its teeth.

“If my mage legs don’t give out when I’m with you, then they won’t now,” Dorian said primly. 

“They’ll give out later, I’ll make sure of that.” Bull growled in his ear.

Dorian chewed on his bottom lip as another shiver of apprehension went down his spine. “Why wait until later?” he asked in Tevene before he could think better of it.

“Didn’t think you wanted to get dirty in a mess of mud, dragon’s blood and muck. Those robes of yours are so fragile, at least when I get my hands on them.” Bull tugged Dorian against him, his teeth worried the mages ears and neck as he looked for a place to make him his again.

Dorian groaned, and his eyes flicked over to the Chargers. “They’ll know what we’re doing,” he whispered. But feeling Bull against him, and the memory of the way he had looked during the fight had Dorian being incautious. 

“Like half the Keep didn’t know that first night.” Bull tugged Dorian behind him towards a half tumbled down stone wall with little thought except getting the mage close to naked and under him.

Dorian had spent all of his sexual life keeping things quiet and discreet, but now, with Bull pushing him up against the stone with the Chargers just on the other side, he found he was more than a little bit turned on by the idea of getting caught. Here it was safe. Getting caught meant nothing more than embarrassment, but in Minrathous, it had been far more dangerous. That it wasn’t something to fear was freeing, and with the rush of the fight still in his blood, and his realizations about how he felt about Bull, Dorian caught Bull’s eye with his own and began to undo the straps on his robes.

“You ok with this? So ...open with me?” Bull asked even as he tugged at Dorian’s buckles and straps impatiently.

Dorian growled in frustration and his fingers went to the laces of his breeches instead, shucking them and his smalls down his legs until they tangled against his boots. He grabbed onto Bull’s horns and pulled his head down to whisper wickedly into his ear. “I saw the way you looked at me after you killed the dragon. You wanted me right there, didn’t you? With the feel of battle still in your blood.” 

“Still do, make you scream for me, take you while they try to pretend we’re not fucking a few feet away.” Bull pulled at his own breeches in an effort to slide them down. 

“Damn...lube, what about that?” Bull snarled as he mussed Dorian’s dark, thick hair. 

Using both his hands, Dorian encircled their cocks against each other. His fingers weren’t able to touch, and he mouthed over Bull’s chest before muttering a spell. Grease slid warm and slick down their erections.

“Benefits...to bedding a mage.” Bull moaned as he spread his legs far as he could, eager to slide home into Dorian, make him writhe and beg like he had that first night together. 

Dorian took off his boots and shoved his breeches and smalls the rest of the way off before he braced his back against the stone wall, and hooked his leg around Bull’s waist, drawing him in close. The qunari’s hands spanned his ass, holding him up effortlessly. He could feel the thick, blunt end of Bull’s cock nudge his entrance, feel how his hole was slowly breached and the slick slide of Bull’s erection began to open him wide. Dorian’s head dropped back against the wall and he stared up at the bright blue sky. Just on the other side he could hear the Chargers speaking to each other, sometimes laughter ringing out as they worked. 

“One of them could walk by,” Dorian groaned. He shuddered in pleasure as more of Bull sank into him in a relentless thrust. His breathing hitched and he slid his other leg up Bull’s thigh, digging his heels into that muscular ass as he tried to get more, more, of what he wanted inside him.

“Yeah, they could...and we wouldn’t stop if they did.” Bull thrust up slow, easy as he held Dorian up and open. “Imagine...if we were truly alone, what I’d do with you, fuck you till you forgot Trade.” 

Dorian cursed under his breath in Tevene as Bull’s cock slid across his prostate, setting off electricity in his body. His hand scrambled at the stone wall, his fingers reaching the top and holding on tightly as Bull pushed into him. The Kossith knew just how to drive Dorian insane, as if they had been together for years and not a fraction of that time. His cock lay hard and leaking against his stomach, excitement thrumming through him.

“We wouldn’t?” Dorian gasped out. 

“No, you feel too good, too tight. Not stoppin’ in case they get an eyeful.” Bull moaned as he rolled his hips slow and easy so he could fill Dorian, make him tremble. “Should make you call for me...let them hear that little hitch you get in your voice right before you come.” 

Later, Dorian knew he would be mortified, but right now with lust driving him, he didn’t care. “Do you think the big warrior could make me do that?” Dorian taunted. 

“Already been there, done that. Just, need to bounce you hard enough till you lose it.” Bull spread Dorian a little wider so he could hit deeper, make Dorian whimper his name loud enough to be heard over the din of the boys.

Dorian bit off the cry that escaped him and shoved his fist against his mouth to control the sharp moans. he glanced down the length of his body, past his rucked up robes, his aching erection, to how Bull’s tight abdomen flexed in a deliberate rhythm, the qunari’s cock disappearing between Dorian’s spread thighs.

“Cheating...let go Dorian, they don’t care.” Bull urged the mage to enjoy himself, even as he sped his thrusts, the awkward angle hard to control so he didn’t hurt the mage. “It’s...alright, it’s...safe with me, them.” 

Dorian’s teeth flashed as he bite down on his hand before he dropped it to Bull’s shoulder, digging his nails into his skin. Each thrust drove him higher, and he became mindless. Words in Tevene and Trade escaped him, words of need, words that pleaded for more, telling Bull how good he felt, how much he loved his thick cock.

And even a few times, how much he loved him.

When Dorian finally came some of the wall fell away under his hand, his body writhing in a dance before his cock flexed, jerking against his stomach.

Bull let Dorian slide down as he jerked his hips against the mage, each time he felt the mage clamp down it pushed him closer to orgasm, the last tight squeeze enough to push Bull over the edge. “Goddamn...that was good.” he huffed

Dorian nipped at Bull’s shoulder. “Yes it was,” he all but purred. 

‘You alright?” the warrior asked as he slid his hands up and down Dorian’s back to soothe him, and to confirm he wasn’t harmed by their sudden tryst. “Tried to be careful.”

“You still have it in your head that I’m soft,” Dorian huffed in a laugh. “And you would be correct at times.” 

Bull slipped free and helped Dorian to remain upright while he found his bearings. That was when Dorian realized several things. One: That although it had been one of the hottest fucks of his life, he had still had sex just feet from the Chargers and was going to have to face them. Two: He was now a mess with no means to clean himself up with dignity.

“What’s the problem? You look confused.” Bull stretched out in the sunlight, happy to get be warm and sated. 

Dorian glanced down at himself. “In order to get cleaned up I’m going to have to either freeze my ass off with cold water I create myself, or go out there and fetch a waterskin.” He looked down at Bull archly. “Or my lover could go and fetch it for me…” 

“Lover, that’s what I am?” Bull asked as he tugged his breeches up with no care for the mess. He’d wash up once they got back to the Keep, then shag his mage stupid again before dinner. He popped his head over the edge of the wall and called for Krem to toss him a skin. 

“Oy, Krem-de-la-Krem, toss me a full skin yeah?” 

Dorian buried his face in his hands. Bull had made no mention of the humiliating slip Dorian had had, and he was going to pretend he had never said those words of love. He took a moment to gather himself before breathing in deeply and dropping his hands.

Bull caught the skin easily and handed it over to Dorian, with a smile. “Go on, get cleaned up so we can make out way back, lover.” 

Dorian took the skin and quickly got himself as cleaned up as he could, even going so far as to try and fix his hair and mustache after pulling his clothes and boots back on. Discretion was the better part of something something for Dorian in Minrathous, and he had become quite good at looking like he hadn’t been up to anything, especially fucking a married magister, or some Altus friend. Appearances were everything and some habits died hard. 

But Bull was Bull too, and his large hand came down on top of Dorian’s head and ruffled his hair, causing the thick strands to fall down in his eyes as they walked out from behind the wall. 

Dorian sighed, but he flashed Bull a fond look. “Idiot,” he muttered lighthearted in Tevene.

“Yeah, but I like bein’ your idiot.” Bull answered just as lightly before he headed towards the Chargers to round them up for the trek back to Skyhold.

Krem led the walk back, but now with a big grin and a thumbs up for the Chief and his Vint’ bedwarmer.

 _You knew what you were getting into, Dorian_ , he told himself. He stopped in the middle of the road and gave the Chargers a bow with a grand flourish at the end. He straightened and turned to walk off as if it hadn’t happened. 

“You’re gonna fit in before long, even with Grunt and Stitches.” Bull clapped Dorian on the back as they went, the Chargers song rang out as they trekked back to Skyhold, triumphant.

**  
A few days later Dorian found himself standing in the great hall of Skyhold facing Lisbeth on her throne. Why she thought that copying the Ferelden people in the throne’s design was a good idea, he would never know. The thing was huge, with blocky, snarling mabari on either side of her. 

He knew he was focusing on the throne because if he at any point gave too much credence to the packed hall behind him, he would lose his nerve, and a Pavus did not lose their nerve in public.

So he waited as Cullen listed off his crimes starting with participating in a magical fight that could have injured people, and ending with the summoning of the dead to do his nefarious bidding. Alright, so the commander didn’t say nefarious, but Dorian knew everyone was thinking it. 

Solas, Sera, Blackwall, Vivienne, the damned Mother of the Chantry, all of Lisbeth’s companions were present in the crowd, but Dorian knew that those four would shed no tears over whatever fate was handed to him. 

Bull leaned against a nearby pole, his gaze unconcerned on the surface. He’d thought the fact Dorian had slain the dragon would have settled any debt he’d incurred but he was about to be proven wrong. 

“Dorian,” Lisbeth began solemnly. “You’ve proven yourself to the Inquisition time and time again. Just days ago you were part of a party that slew a dragon that had been threatening farms for years. But you also endangered this Keep, a place of safety for so many. People don’t feel safe here after what you did.” 

Dorian lifted his chin up. He had worn his best clothes and looked every inch the part of a rich mage. “I had complete control over them. I take the blame for frightening people, that was not my intent, but no one was in danger.” Dorian glanced over his shoulder. “Except Hawke.”

Invictus sneered but didn’t get far thanks to a word of warning from the elf at his side. “Poncy git, he’ll walk with a warning, I’m sure.” Vic muttered.

“Drop it, just drop it.” Fenris replied quietly.

Bull shifted but didn’t say anything as he awaited Dorian’s sentence.

“Dorian, you can’t talk or charm your way out of this, you were out of line. Hawke has agreed to pay for the damages his fire caused, now you have to pay for the fear you have spread.” Lisbeth stood. 

“Dorian Pavus, you are sentenced to report to Commander Cullen every morning when the sun rises. Then he will cast a smite. You are banned from using magic in the keep.” 

Her face twisted in sadness. “I’m sorry, Dorian. There were some who advocated for a harsher punishment, but this way, the people of Skyhold will know you won’t be able to do it again.”

“And what if we are attacked!” Dorian snarled, losing some of his composure. “What if Corypheus comes calling? Am I to be hobbled like a bear whose teeth and claws have been pulled? You would leave me defenseless, Lis. You of all people to do this to me....”

“Inquisitor, that’s bullshit. You might as well have passed sentence to make him Tranquil.” Bull said as he stood tall behind the mage. “You’d hobble one of our strongest mages, but leave him free to roam?” he pointed at Hawke, eye dark as he glared at the foreign mage.

“As I said, there are those that came to me and told me that did not feel safe. Some of them are people who threatened to leave. Hawke has paid his price, now Dorian needs to. Unless you know of another way to assure the people of Skyhold that Dorian won’t use his magic in the keep?” 

“It’s ridiculous, make him serve in some other way but to take away his power? That’s foolish even for you. There’s only a few mages here and he’s saved us more than once.” Bull snapped.

Hawke pulled away from his lover and called out to the Inquisitor. “That’s too much, even though his crime was serious. Do you know what Smite feels like to a mage? I bet you don’t, otherwise why give such a decree? Might as well Tranquil him if that's your solution.”

“This is because I’m from Tevinter, isn’t it?” Dorian asked her. 

“Dorian…” Lisbeth began. 

“No…” He held up his hand. “I know it is. I told you that one day your defense of me might cause you pain.” This wasn’t her, and Dorian knew it. This was pressure from those that hated him, people who Lisbeth considered friends and allies. This was her compromise because she didn’t know what else to do.

“My word would mean nothing?” Dorian asked. “I am Altus Dorian from House Pavus.”

“You are a slaver,” Solas called out. 

“Don’t act like you care for other elves, you sneer at us and act superior. Just like the Dalish.” Fenris called out. “You’re only here to gloat as it is, not because you care about this.”

Bull slammed the butt of his hammer on the floor, angry over the way things had gone. “Enough, enough of this bullshit. I will watch over Dorian, will that appease you, Inquisitor Trevelyan?”

“Yes,” Lisbeth said in relief. “Are there any here who doubt that The Iron Bull will watch over Dorian Pavus? Are there any here who would doubt his word that he can do it?”

“Don’t get ideas either, this is a compromise. I will see you later about this, arrangement Inquisitor.” Bull intoned angrily his eye dark as he stared down the noblewoman on her throne.

She didn’t cower. “I understand. Then I release Dorian Pavus into your custody. As I said, he has done great things for the Inquisition, he killed a dragon recently on our behalf.” She looked him in the eyes. “And there is no one else I’d rather be stranded in time with. 

Dorian’s jaw set in angry lines. He knew that she had done this on purpose, goaded Bull to take up for him as he had. But although he appreciated the sentiment, it would do nothing but make people question Bull more, and that was the last thing Dorian had wanted. 

He could still feel the eyes of everyone in the hall on him, and humiliation crawled up his spine. he might be of Tevinter, but he was not some out of control mage that needed to be reprimanded because those that hated him decided to put the Inquisitor in a hard position. He had more pride in himself and his abilities than that. He who he was and he didn’t need a keeper.

“I am no Southern mage in need of a templar to watch over me,” he said in Tevene. “I have done nothing but work to make all of you see there is so much more to me and to Tevinter than what you think you understand.” 

His eyes scanned over the room. “I know what was tried here today. I know who attempted to use this against me. A Pavus doesn’t forget.” 

‘Dorian,” Lisbeth said behind him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and he shook her off.

“Am I free to go?” he asked her.

The moment the word ‘yes’ left her lips, Dorian was striding down the short stairs away from the throne and through the crowd that parted for him, fury radiating off of him.

“This is going to take a long time to heal, if ever. I hope your Champion is worth it.” Bull said before he left in search of his new charge.

Hawke looked stricken, sure the others would hate him and Fenris if he tried to stay with the Inquisition. “Come on, I don’t want everyone giving me the evil eye over this.”

“I think we should go home as soon as this business is done, I hate it here Hawke.” Fenris muttered as he turned to follow his lover.

Dorian strode straight to his chambers, slamming the door open and then closed again. His hands flexed at his sides before he turned, snatching up a half empty wine bottle and flinging it into the fireplace, the glass shattering against the stone and the fire hissing as the wine hit it.

Bull knocked, unsure if he was welcome to keep the mage company or if the sight of him would make it worse.

Dorian used magic gleefully to open the door. If they were afraid of his magic, then Dorian was going to make sure he used it for the most mundane things, like a new mage child first flexing their power.

“How mad are you,and do you want me to stay?” Bull asked as he leaned in the doorway, sure Dorian was a second away from screaming at him.

“I’m bloody furious,” Dorian muttered. “But not at you, so stay.” He began to pace the room in agitation. 

“I have done everything I can to conduct myself in the way I wanted to be perceived as. I brought the Venetori plot to the Inquisition because it was the right thing to do. I stayed because I believe in this cause. I let the damned remarks, the rumors, the glances roll right off of me, because I am who I am and I am better than that. But when Invictus Hawke throws ice in my face, I am expected to take it? To not use my power to get a little bit of my pride back that has been chipped away slowly every single day I’ve been here!” 

Dorian snapped his mouth shut and took a calming breath.

Bull shut the door and slipped onto the mage’s bed with a tired sigh. “What now? I didn’t offer to be your keeper as a way to hurt you. I’m pissed at Lisbeth and the Champion. You want to be alone?” he asked again, unsure if he should stay while Dorian was in such a mood.

“No, please stay. I’m sorry I yelled. Leaving my home was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I had only ever been to the Anderfels before, and even then just to Hossburg. I have no family anymore. I have no true connections. I am constantly reevaluating what I thought I knew of myself and the world, and it has not been easy. 

“It’s my pride that has been ruined,” he admitted. “First my magic was taken from me and then I was put in a cell for days on end, and now this. It’s no wonder the mages rebelled. But I am not leaving. I came here to aid the Inquisition and to redeem my country from the Venetori. If I turn tail just because of this, then I am what they think of me.” 

“You know you’re not, I wouldn’t put myself on the line of that was the case.” Bull unsnapped his pauldron and let it thump to the floor. “If it’s alright, I’ll keep you company for the day. Otherwise, I can find something to do.”

Dorian flipped the back of his robes up and sat down in a chair by the bed. He crossed his legs at the knee and ran his thumb and forefinger over his mustache as he thought. 

“You know what really gets me?” he asked. “What really gets me is I freely admit I’m a spoiled child, that I have had it good in life generally speaking. I have had wealth and privilege that few in thedas can even dream of. I’ve been aware of this all my life, and it was drummed into me at an early age to act according to my station, to grasp everything that i wanted, but to not abuse my power. I honestly thought that was what I was doing, especially by coming here, but i can see now that I have been a part of the problem all along.” 

His hand dropped away, only to drum along the arm of the chair. “By all rights you and I should hate each other, but we don’t. You decided to see past where I was born and to know me as I am. If men like Solas cannot do as much, then I shall endeavor to dismiss them. There is no getting along with them, and I don’t care anymore.” 

“That’s all well and good, but you know that can fuck with the effectiveness of fighting together right?” Bull toed off his boots and got comfortable as he watched Dorian fidget. “Men don’t trust or like each other, it can end bad for all involved.”

“I’m aware of it,” Dorian said with a sigh. “I tried to get along, brush off the comments directed my way, the way people ask me if _I_ know what Corypheus is up to, as if there is some special magister hive mind we share. But I refuse to be their target for centuries of abuse perpetrated by my people. I’m trying to change perceptions in Tevinter and in the South, but I also won’t stand trial for something that I condemn as well.”

“So if we go into a fight, you’re good? Not gonna let that carry over? You like me, and a couple others but it’s gonna go south real quick if they think they can’t trust you at their back. That will be a lynchpin to get rid of you, you know.” Bull didn’t flinch from the ugly truth in his words, he hoped Dorian would get what he said as advice not condemnation.

“You’re right,” Dorian said thoughtfully. “But hobbling me like Lis wanted to do is not the answer either. Then I would be completely useless and reliant on men and women who hate me to protect me. Loathe as I am to admit it, I’m helpless in a fight without my magic. Oh, I could attempt some fancy sword play, but the moves I know would mean nothing in a real fight. “

Dorian shook his head. “Damn it, Bull. Why would she do that to me? Why did she even suggest it? I want to understand, at the time I thought I did, but it… she to have known what she was doing.” 

“I don’t know, it makes no sense to me. Unless she got pressured by others or threats of losing support. Don’t make it right though.” Bull beckoned for Dorian to join him, if he wanted.

“No…” Dorian said slowly. “It doesnt. I can count on one hand the friends I have in this keep, and I thought she was one of them. I didn’t expect her to let me go without some sort of recompense, but to do what she did…” He didn’t get up right away, he knew he had to work a few things out in his head before he did. 

“Are you going to ask why? Or wallow about it?” Bull asked as he stretched out and got comfortable on the plush bedding, careful with his horns.

“Both?” Dorian asked before he buried his face in his hands and his shoulders began to shake. She had been one of the few true friends he had ever known other than Felix, and now he felt as if both had been lost to him. He felt like a fool and bit back the choked cries that threatened to escape. 

Bull sat up but didn't rush over to Dorian, unsure if the mage would take poorly to being coddled or held. “I...didn’t mean to make it worse.” he said.

“No, it’s just been a long several days.” Dorian raised his head and dropped it back against the chair. He wiped at his eyes with his sleeves. “What do you think I should do, Bull? Shall I play the tamed magister for them? Shall I ignore it all as if it hadn’t happened? So many options and none of it will take back anything. So I must move on, but I feel so…” He blew out a breath and glanced at Bull out of the corner of his eyes. 

“Cornered? Beat down but not out?” Bull offered as he eased forward in case Dorian wanted more than words of comfort. “Be yourself, when you aren’t so raw, talk with Lisbeth. If nothing else, it’ll drive you mad to not know why she did that.” 

“I want to believe that she thought you would speak up for me and this was a way of pacifying everyone, but the raw part of me thinks that she had other motives, and that’s what angers me. The games they play in Orlais and Minrathous are dangerous and petty. I thought that I had gotten away from all of that in Skyhold, but I’m finding I was wrong. If we were in Minrathous and they had done this to me…” He reached his hand out almost blindly and took Bull’s hand in his own. 

“If I’m being honest with myself it’s the idea that this might have changed our dynamic that truly hurts. I feel as if what we have is delicate, and any misstep would tip things in the wrong way. You being my keeper definitely tips things.” Dorian didn’t let go of Bull’s hand, wanting to get all of the truth out in the open.

“It’s just symbolic, I don’t think you needed to be hit with smite every fucking day. It would have driven you mad. Or turned you on us the second it wore off. It was a stupid move, and I still don’t get it.” Bull replied as stroked his thumb over the back of Dorian’s hand.

“At least she didn’t ask for money,” Dorian laughed dryly. “I’m incredibly broke right now. I had to sell some of my things to even come to the south.”

He finally turned his head to face Bull. “Promise me this won’t change things between us.”

“Nah, it’s on you Pavus. Like I said that first night. Now come lay with me for a while. You look exhausted.” Bull tugged gently at Dorian’s hand so he’d come over.

“And rest with all this qunari in my bed?” Dorian scoffed. “I think not. I should use my magic and show you how we fuck in Tevinter.” 

“Like you do in Tevinter? Sure you’re up for it? I did take you pretty hard last night and you’re not ok right now.” Bull gently tugged at Dorian again. “Is this because you wanna prove something, or you actually in the mood?”

Maybe Dorian did feel as if he had something to prove to himself, but he wasn’t sure he cared. “Why not both?” he asked. 

“Fine, but if things get weird, I’m calling Katoh. I’m not the kind of guy to take advantage of your pain.” Bull turned to his back so the mage could do as he pleased.

Dorian carefully took off his clothes, making sure to fold the fine material and set them down on the chair. “Ever have someone fuck you while you were fucking someone else?” 

“Yeah...interesting experience. But there’s just the two of us.” Bull hedged, unsure what Dorian could be on about.

“I had an interesting experience with a healer once, the man knew the human body well and how to use magic to make it dance. I don’t have the talent he did, but it did lead me down creative paths…” 

He walked over to his dresser and opened the top drawer. he removed a wooden box and came back to the bed, finally climbing onto it. He held the box out for Bull, a wicked grin gracing his lips.

“Glass, wood, marble?” Bull asked as he opened the box and took out the thick phallus. “No wonder you took me so easy.”

“What can I say?” Dorian’s grin widened. “I’m a man who likes something a little… larger.”

“I see… so who’s getting this thing?” Bull asked skeptically.

“You.” Dorian reached over and tripped his fingers up the glass.

“Me?” Bull asked as he watched Dorian’s fingers.

Dorian rubbed his thumb over the tip of the glass cock. “Unless you want this lovely thing inside me… I’m flexible that way.” 

Bull hummed as he watched the mage stroke the glass toy as he wanted to be touched. He’d been taken, he was just surprised by the idea. “Yeah...you can do me, long as I get to tap that tight ass.” 

“Oh, that was never in doubt,” Dorian assured him. He leaned over and ran the tip of his tongue up the length of the glass. 

“And I’m going to be as loud and as indiscreet as possible, because fuck them.” 

“You’re something else Pavus, but I like where this is headed.” Bull watched as Dorian started to fellate the glass cock, something dangerous in his expression as he worked.

Dorian pulled it away from his lips with a lewd pop and slithered down Bull’s body, nipping at his skin along the way. “I want the real thing,” he muttered in Tevene.

“Don’t let me stop you.” Bull took the glass toy so Dorian could get at his prize.

“I have a goal,” Dorian said as he nuzzled at Bull’s heavy sac. “Someday I will get all of that lovely cock between my lips and down my throat. even if it’s just for a moment. Will you help me with this endeavour?” he asked with a husky chuckle.

“Yeah...now open up more for me, put that mouth to good use.” Bull moaned, “You...looked hot with that thing between your lips.”

“Did I?” Dorian mouthed at the thick veins that pulsed along Bull’s shaft. “Was it better than this?” He opened his lips and slowly took Bull’s cock between them, his jaw stretching wide.

“No...not better.” Bull rasped as he watched Dorian take him in. “Vashedan..” he hissed as he watched more of his cock slide between the mage’s lips.

Dorian tried to angle his neck and mouth just right in order to take more of Bull’s cock. He felt the slight choking sensation that he had only ever felt with Bull and when he had been younger with much less experience. 

But he liked having all that flesh between his lips, in his mouth, leaking on his tongue, and pushing down his throat. The Iron Bull was a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield, but Dorian was the one who could have him like this.

For a moment he was grateful that he couldn’t say the words of love that wanted to spill from his tongue. He and Bull still hadn’t spoken about it, and in a way, Dorian liked that they hadn’t. There was an ease in it without pressure.

“Shit...come on, take more, just a little more.” Bull whispered as he forced himself not to shove Dorian’s head down on his cock like he wanted.

Dorian’s brow furrowed as he concentrated, relaxing his throat and taking in more and more of Bull before pulling away to breathe. Each time he came back he took a little bit more. His jaw began to ache, but he didn’t care.

Bull reached down to slow Dorian’s attempt to take him all the way down. “Easy, don’t over do it.” he gasped as he felt a slight tug on his balls even as Dorian opened further.

In reply, Dorian threaded his fingers in Bull’s and took a breath before sinking down on him one final time. His nose touched Bull’s groin, dark hairs tickling his skin. He groaned, his ass writhing as he pushed against the sheets in his excitement.

He couldn’t breathe, could only feel the hard pulse of Bull’s cock as the kossithi’s heart began to pound.

“Hey, ease up...no fun if you can’t breathe.” Bull tugged at Dorian’s hair, gently to get him to ease up.

Dorian did and he came up gasping, but with a satisfied grin on his face.

Bull rubbed his thumb over the other man’s reddened lips, a grin on his face. “Get what you wanted?” he asked even as he felt Dorian nip at him.

“Almost,” Dorian rasped, his throat raw. He wrapped both his hands around Bull’s shaft and slipped the tip of his cock between his lips. His tongue fluttered along the tip and the sensitive glans under the head, while his hands began to pump.

“Shit...not gonna …last if you keep that pace.” Bull rasped even as he rolled his hips to help Dorian. He panted as he felt the wet heat of Dorian’s mouth slip further down his shaft.

Dorian glanced up the length of Bull’s body and caught his eyes. He tried to tell his lover without words to give him what he wanted, to give in.

Bull groaned even as he felt Dorian move faster, keep im off balance and heading for an orgasm he couldn’t hold back. He arched as his lover worked his cock, faster, slick from his mouth until he shouted out and filled the mage’s mouth. 

Dorian didn’t bother swallowing what he was given. He pulled back and let it splash on his throat and chest to slide down his skin, his hands moving slowly on the pulsing shaft to wring every last drop out.

“Fuck...you’re gonna make me lose it this time. Even...after last night you’re so needy.” Bull moaned as he wrapped his fingers in Dorian’s hair and tugged gently, a signal they’d worked out for getting a little rougher.

“Feel like playing, or you want to try that toy on me?” Bull tugged him up to worry the mages neck, mark him while he debated what he wanted of him.

Dorian gritted his teeth and a pleasured moan escaped him. “I need that cock inside me,” he said in a mixture of Trade and Tevene. He was a mess, but he didn’t care when he slipped out of Bull’s embrace to go and fetch a large bottle of oil from the dresser.

“Which one?” the warrior asked as he reluctantly released Dorian. “I’m good, but I need time to ...ya know, recover.” he muttered.

Dorian came back to the bed and sat up on his knees, the bottle in hand. “Then time you will have. Roll over, please.” 

“Very well, just... be easy on me. It’s been a while since I let someone have me.” Bull rolled over, mindful of his horns and not taking out any of the bedding, or Dorian’s eye.

Dorian straddled Bull before pouring a generous amont of the warm oil on Bull’s back, the liquid pooling between his shoulderblades. “Consider this one of many ways I will be thanking you for speaking up for me when I don’t think anyone else was going to.” 

“Hmmm,I think I like this way of thanks,” Bull rumbled before he got comfortable and let Dorian enjoy himself.

Dorian began at the base of Bull’s skull and started to work his way down, spreading the oil and doing a feel for every knot. His lover’s skin glistened, and Dorian took a moment to admire the way the liquid highlighted all of Bull’s muscles before he went to work. He heated his palms slightly with magic, starting a slightly complex pattern of working Bull’s body.

“Fuck...that’s...good.” Bull moaned as he tried to not buck Dorian off. 

Dorian took his time, digging into Bull’s muscles and working out the knots. He could feel how each muscle began to relax while he worked his way down. 

“Is it?” Dorian asked quietly. “This is the least I could do. I… I trust you, Bull. I know you won’t try to take advantage of your position, and there are very few people in this world I know I can say that of.” 

He bypassed Bull’s backside and went straight for his thighs instead. He wanted the kossith nice and relaxed for what was to come. 

“Tease… dammit, Dorian.” Bull hissed as he noticed the skip in where the mage worked on him.

Dorian laughed, the sound light. “So impatient,” he chided. He set down Bull’s foot and picked up the other one.

“Damn straight...you seemed eager to fuck me like you do in Tevinter...surprised me with this is all. But...fuck if it’s not a turn on.” Bull forced himself to still under the mage’s touch once more.

Dorian tripped a slick finger up the natural split in the qunari’s ass. “That’s the point,” he whispered in Tevene, his voice thick with lust. His hands then finally dug into Bull’s ass, massaging and then prying him apart. 

“Shiiiit,” Bull hissed, caught off guard by Dorian’s change in rhythm. “Fuck...come on.” 

Dorian picked up the dildo from where they had left it on the bed, and poured more of the oil on it before he capped the bottle and carefully set it on a small table nearby. Dorian lightly ran his fingers over the tight, puckered opening of Bull’s ass, slicking it with oil. 

“When was the last time you were fucked, Bull?” Dorian asked. 

“Long time, before I joined this...bunch.” Bull moaned as he stretched under Dorian, slightly eager for whatever the mage wanted, his mind stuck on pleasure

Dorian touched his finger against the tight hole before he began to push gently inside. He could feel how easily Bull opened for him, and smiled beneath his mustache.

Bull relaxed, slowly but he let Dorian lead, as long as he was taken or got to take the other man he would be pleased. “Not...some wilting flower, fuck me.” 

So Dorian complied. He pressed his finger inside in one steady motion, quicker than he had originally been planning on. But judging by Bull’s pleased, but slightly impatient, groan, it was still too slow. 

A second finger joined the first, prying Bull open and spreading the oil.

“Damn... damn, you gonna take all day?” Bull snarled. He was impatient, and worked up for whatever it was Dorian had decided on. He hated to wait, though he knew the game.

Dorian pulled his fingers free and pressed the tip of the dildo to Bull’s slick ass. He began to push in, his cock becoming painfully hard as he watched Bull open up around the unyielding glass.

“Fuck… guh. fuck…” Bull gasped as he was filled. He spread more and forced himself not to clamp down on the toy as Dorian opened him up/

When there was no more than three inches left outside of Bull, Dorian urged him onto his back. “My turn,” he panted. His hands were trembling with need when he reached for the oil one last time. 

“Fuck… what are you going to do?” Bull moaned as he tried to turn over without snagging his horns or breaking the glass cock.

“Why spoil the surprise?” Dorian asked. “Do you trust me not to hurt you, Bull? we can stop if you are unsure.” 

“Not unsure...just...thrown off, usually the one in...control.” Bull moaned as he watched Dorian. “Yeah...I trust, oh fuck..I trust you.”

Although it was what Dorian had expected to hear, it still caught him off guard. There had only been one other person that had trusted him this much in his life. 

He placed a kiss to the tip of Bull’s erection in thanks before dribbling oil on it, slicking the hard flesh. He straddled Bull and carefully began to lower himself down. Maybe a week ago he couldn’t have taken Bull in without more preparation, but his body was getting used to it, know when to relax and what to expect with the thick length. 

Dorian braced his hands on Bull’s chest, fingers digging in as he sank down. 

“Fuuuuuuuck, fuck.” Bull gasped at the dual sensation of being filled and of Dorian on top of him. “Vashedan...Vashedan…” he growled as he rolled his hips to see how it felt.

“Now,” Dorian rasped. “You can have control back.” Magic filled the air as Dorian touched his connection to the Fade. The words to the spell came out almost stuttered, but he managed to get through it. 

He knew the exact moment Bull realized what he had done. The qunari’s eyes snapped open wide.

“Oh fuck, shit Dorian...oh, oh …” he groaned low in his chest as he thrust up and felt the spell’s effect. “Goddamn...kadan.” bull moaned with each thrust.

Each thrust into Dorian was mirrored by the dildo inside Bull. Dorian braced his hands on Bull’s thighs behind him and rose up slightly, letting Bull pound into him, pound into them both with abandon. His body was jiggled and jerked, and Dorian loved every hard moment of it.

Instead of forced words, Bull wrapped his arm around the mage and flipped them over, so he had Dorian on his hands and knees under him, each thrust deep as he could, with his movements mirrored by the thick toy in his ass. 

“Fuck… outta do this more often. Goddamn, damn….” he growled in Dorian’s ear. “Gonna fuck you through your bed.” 

This was the Bull that Dorian loved the most in bed, the one who took charge of his body and took Dorian to places he didn’t think he could ever go. He took what Bull wanted to give him and begged for more, the bed under them creaking dangerously.

Gonna… gonna come… too much.” Bull hissed in his ear. “Make it faster, harder. I wanna fuck you with it, suck your cock while you beg to come for me.” the warrior snapped his hips harder, his teeth sunk into Dorian’s shoulder as he tried to draw out his own orgasm. “Oh, Dor...Dorian, fuck, fuck I wanna fuck you all day.”

The pictures that Bull painted for him had Dorian’s eyes sliding closed and a long, drawn out moan of need coming from deep in his chest. He barely felt the sharp pain of Bull’s teeth, or the bruising grip on his hips. All he knew was Bull and the driving cock inside him. 

He forced his eyes open and dug his hands into the sheets, tearing the fine silk as he concentrated through the fog of lust in order to do as Bull had asked.

“Fuck...fuck.” Bull whimpered, before he shouted in pleasure, his own orgasm hit him hard, and he lost his rhythm, the hard pounding he’d been at slowed to an erratic pumping as he filled Dorian.

Dorian’s eyes snapped open and he cried out in a strangled shout, his body finally releasing. for as moment he lost himself, and control of his magic as his world narrowed down to the pleasure-pulses of his body.

Bull pulled back and sniffed. “Shit...I think you set the curtains on fire” he mumbled as he tried to go bat them out.

Dorian jerked upright and scrambled off the bed, his legs giving out under him as his mind tried to connect to the here and now.

“Ice, use ice or something.” Bull said as he contained one smoldering area of the curtains.

Dorian gathered his wits enough to cast an ice spell, overshooting and freezing the material solid. He stared at the ice encased curtain dumbfounded before he threw back his head and laughed.

“Well that’s one way to stop a fire.” Bull muttered as he flopped onto his back and tried to catch his breath. “Damn...that was new.”

Dorian brushed his bangs away from his face and gave Bull a cheeky grin. “What part? I’m going to answer all of it for myself.” 

“The...moving the toy along with what I did. Never been with a mage before you.” Bull groaned as he rolled to the side in an attempt to remove their plaything, before he snapped it or lost it among the bedding before they could clean up.

But Dorian knew it was too late, the bedding was a lost cause. “We’re going to have to invest in a good bedding store at this rate,” he said dryly. 

“Or stop using such frilly things. cotton is good enough to sleep on. Not a waste if we make a mess that can’t be cleaned.” Bull winced as he got the glass cock free and headed to the basin.

“But _I’m_ a frilly thing,” Dorian said. “And in this case like is attracted to like. I like my comfort when I sleep and the feel of cool silk against me is comfort.”

“What about a big lummox to keep you comfortable?” Bull asked quietly, his focus on cleaning up instead of on the mage. Some of the things Dorian said during their tryst had him unsettled.

Dorian pretended to think about it. “In that case, I believe that will have to do.” He glanced down at himself and curled his lips in distaste. “Always fun when you’re doing it, but the mess is a little much when you’re done.”

“If you’re not a mess, you ain’t had fun.” Bull crawled back into Dorian’s bed as he awaited the mage’s return.

“And that is a saying that I should have cross stitched and framed.” Dorian went to the washbasin and began to get himself cleaned up.

“Ask Dalish, she might do it for you if you ask nice.” Bull watched the other man saunter over and crawl over him with a smile. “You feel better?”

“Not better, but more at peace with what has happened,” Dorian admitted as he draped himself across Bull’s chest. “I’m not going to let them get to me, but I won’t let it go just yet either. You were right when you said that it could be detrimental in combat. But that’s a problem for tomorrow.”

“Then let’s get a nap, go again then have dinner sent up here. Unless you wanna go to the tavern?” Bull offered.

“If I have dinner in my chambers then I will be seen as hiding away. No, I’ll go to the dining hall.”

“If that’s what you want I doubt anyone would be surprised or fault you.” the warrior stretched out and gathered Dorian to him. “Sleep for a bit yeah. a certain mage wore me out.”

“Just for a little while,” Dorian murmured as he laid his head against Bull’s chest. he could feel the steady rhythm of his strong heart against his ear.

Bull drifted off first, tired from their romp. He didn’t stir when the sixth bell pealed for dinner, with only a faint grumble before he tried to get comfortable.

Dorian slipped on a plain set of robes and walked barefoot to the door and stuck his head out into the hall. He waved down a passing servant and asked her if she wouldn’t mind sending up some dinner for him and the qunari. He flirted a little with her, made her blush before she hurried off to fetch them food.

Bull stirred at the scent of stew that hit his nose. “Thought you wanted to go to the dining hall?” he muttered before he had a bowl put in his hands.

“You needed some rest.” Dorian placed his feet up on a low footstool and dug into his stew. “I swear, if anyone in Minrathous could see me now, eating stew and enjoying Ferelden ale.”

“They might mistake you for a regular person?” Bull asked with a grin. “Nothing wrong with good drink n’ food Pavus. Besides, those stuck up assholes wouldn’t know good grub if it got dumped on their heads.”

“It’s because it isn’t Tevinter in origin, or we can’t claim we made it. Anything else is just inferior.” Dorian sighed. “Ah… It was so much simpler to think along those lines, at least partially. But it wasn’t nearly as fun.” 

“Simple don’t make it right. You got a ways to go Pavus, enjoying some standard fare ain’t enough to change years of belief.” Bull brandished his spoon at the mage as he spoke. “Nobody around here is inferior, or superior to anybody else. Get that thought out of your head, to start.”

Dorian pressed a hand to his heart. “You mean to say that I am not the product of superior breeding and that the world isn’t mine for the taking? I am shocked. You’re saying that my mother was wrong all along and I am not the Maker’s gift to this world.” 

“Sarcasm ain’t a good look on you.” Bull finished his food with a lingering glance at Dorian before he crawled back under the covers.

“We both know that’s a lie.” Dorian savored the last of his stew before he gathered the plates and stacked them neatly on the table. He would take them down in the morning.

“Hmble, you’re not.” Bull teased.

“Humble men get eaten alive by demons in Minrathous, you and I both know that.” Dorian slipped out of his robes and crawled back into bed.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on and get some more rest you oh so humble mage of mine.” Bull rumbled.

Dorian smiled at the use of mine and closed his eyes to get some more sleep. He knew it was going to be a trying day tomorrow.

**  
Fenris and Hawke sat off to themselves at breakfast. They finally had a time to move on their lead and they were eager to move on. The elven fighter noticed Dorian and Bull’s entrance but made little effort to engage them.

Dorian on the other hand, didn’t grab his plate, food, or morning tea. Instead, he made sure to sit down in the center of the room where most people were seated as if nothing had happened the day before. 

Bull slipped a plate in front of the obstinate mage before he dug into his own breakfast, sure there would be problems before the meal was over.

He didn’t have long to wait. with a flick of his hand, Dorian had one of the teapots rising up and filling a cup. He looked faintly bored as he did it, wiggling his finger when he stirred in his cream before floating the cup over, weaving it around people.  
“Pour me a cup, and stop showing off.” Bull hissed quietly. He knew the mage was unhappy but this display of power mean there might be others.

“This? This isn’t showing off,” Dorian said, slightly bored. “If I was showing off, you’d know it. Now, did you want milk in your tea?”

“Sure, give me milk then.” Bull sighed tiredly

Dorian did as he asked with a smile before floating the cup over to his lover and setting it down in front of him. 

Lisbeth sighed from the other end of the table. “Dorian… Is that really necessary?” 

“Oh? I apologize, Lis, did you want some too?” he asked too sweetly. 

Fenris shook his head as he watched the mage’s display. “You sure you want them with us Hawke? Not sure I really want them at my back.” He whispered

Varric groaned. “And I thought Blondie could be vindictive.” He hadn’t realized how that had come out until Cassandra sent him a glare across the table. He winced. “Not like that.”

Bull rolled his eyes but didn’t argue with Doran’s chosen method of irritating the others, yet. 

Cullen groaned as he watched the battle of wills play out. Angry mages with something to prove was not something he wanted to deal with.

“Tell me, Seeker,” Dorian said as he sipped his tea. “Out of everyone here, would you say you know much about what goes into being a Mortalitasi?”

“I know some of it, it’s no secret that my uncle is one. Why do you ask Dorian?” Cassandra glared at him unhappy with how he had acted thus far.

“I was just curious as to whether anyone here came to you to speak of what I did to deserve punishment,” he said lightly.

“Dorian,” Lis whispered. “Don’t do this here.” 

“No, I was not asked about your punishment. Do not drag me into your petty games, mage.” Cassandra sneered at him.

“Petty? If I was petty I would…” Dorian tapped his fingers on his cup, “Do what I’m doing now,” he admitted.

“Yes, petty. Now if you all would excuse me I have work to do and not entertain this foolishness.” Cassandra grunted in disgust as she left the others to play their silly games.

“Now that’s over, Lis, may I speak with you after we’ve eaten. I think you and I need to clear the air,” Dorian said.

She nodded and gave him a tentative smile. 

“Want me to come with you?” Bull offered

“No, but thank you,” Dorian said.

“Alright, I’ll catch you later, goodluck.” Bull replied before he stepped ff to get a refill.

**  
It took less than an hour later before the first explosion rocked the Keep near Lisbeth’s room. 

“Shit, that ain’t good.” Bull dropped the practice shield and headed into the Keep at a dead run in the hopes no one was hurt.

There came another explosion, and he and Cullen both almost ran into each other in the main hall, they turned as one and wrenched the door that led to the stairs to Lisbeth’s chambers off the hinges. Ice crackled along the stairs, making them treacherous.

“Commander...what the hell happened between breakfast and now?” Bull asked as he grabbed a railing to keep his balance and continue his climb.

“Dorian and Lis went up there to talk privately ten minutes ago. I don’t think it’s going well.” Cullen wasn't at his best, and his templar abilities were faded to something less than they once were, but years of training since he was thirteen kicked in and he was able to navigate up the stairs. 

“You have a gift for understatement Commander.” Bull huffed as he climbed up the steep stairs. “Who built this damned place, mountain goats?” 

“According to the records we've found, everyone has been here at some point. Tevinter, Wardens, elves, stubborn mage Inquisitors and her Tevinter friend…” Cullen muttered the last under his breath as he reached the door. He tested the handle with the back of his hand before he tried the latch. The door swung open, and cold air slapped them in the face.

“Damn...two angry mages did all this?” Bull said in almost awe.

Every surface in the room glittered in a fine layer of ice. In the center of the room, Dorian and Lisbeth faced off, both of their hands wreathed in magic.

“Damn it, Dorian! It wasn’t like that,” she shouted.

“I’m not a fool,” he shouted back in Tevene.

“And stop yelling at me in Tevene,” she cried. “You know I’m shit at it unless you speak slowly!”

“Katoh!” Bull yelled as he tried to keep his footing. “You damned fools nearly took some years off our lives.”

“She started this,” Dorian accused. “Damned Southern mages don't know how to keep your power under control when you’re angry.” 

“Oh, oh!” Lisbeth scoffed incredulously. “So all this ice is just me then? You didn’t contribute a spec of it or a single snowflake?”

“Both of you cut this out right now!” Bull repeated, anger at them clear. “Unless you want to be smited again?”

“Oh, yes, please, Commander,” Dorian all but begged. “Please smite the Inquisitor. I would dearly love to see how you walk away with your balls intact after that.” 

“So would I,” Cullen replied dryly. “So both of you calm down and tell what’s going on so I don’t have to.” 

Bull slid over to where Dorian was, but realized if he had to grab for the mage he’d be on his ass as long as their spells held. “How about you dispel this ice before someone breaks their neck.”

Dorian gave a disgusted sigh and waved his hand. Half of the ice disappeared in patches. 

“Thanks, don’t relish being laid up or dead cause of a fall.” Bull thought better of grabbing Dorian but he did get closer to the mage just in case he had to subdue him. “Now, what happened?”

“Ask her,” Dorian snarled. He rarely let his anger be so easily seen in all it’s glory, but he didn’t care right now.

“Lis, get rid of the ice,” Cullen said calmly.

She flicked her hand in an irritated gesture and the last of the ice dissipated. 

“Someone, talk, now.” Bull sniped, his patience at an end with their fighting.

“No one pushed her into shit!” Dorian yelled. “That whole thing was all her.”

“Dorian....stop screaming.” Bull replied, worried about how furious the mage was and how close he was to a full on show of his power. “Lisbeth, explain please?’

“I had two choices,” she finally said. “Either I punish Dorian the way some people were going to demand I do it, or I punish him as a friend the way others would have me do it. I chose another option.” 

“You did it without telling me,” Cullen accused.

“I love you, Cullen, but I don’t have to tell you of every choice I make, and I knew what you would say.”

Hurt flashed in his eyes for a brief moment before he banked it. 

“So you made another way and we see how well that went over. Now what the fuck do we do?” Bull asked irritably.

‘So what would you have done if Bull hadn’t spoken up for me?” Dorian asked. “Had guards escort me every morning to the commander so that he could cut me off from my powers?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she told him. “I wasn’t really going to do that. You would have just been told not to use your magic in the keep. everyone else would have been told Cullen was making sure you couldn’t use them at all. You wouldn’t have been left defenseless, but the people who had become afraid didn’t need to know that. I had hoped Bull would stand up for you, so the lie would be unnecessary.” 

Dorian blinked. “Are you sure you aren’t from Tevinter?”

“So you bet on my good will, and you lied in front of everyone? Why didn’t you just tell him that in private before that farce of a trial?” Bull snarled.

“Because His reaction and yours was real enough.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry that I deceived you all. I shouldn’t have done that.”

The warrior snorted and swore in Qunlat as he glared at all of them. “Not a way to make me confident in you. I was upfront with you and you do this? Poorly done Inquisitor.” Bull leaned against a nearby wall, his arms crossed and his gaze angry.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I won’t lie to you again, Bull, any of you.” 

Dorian tapped his finger on his nose thoughtfully. “You really are bad at this, aren’t you?” he mused. “Any number of things could have gone wrong. I could have lost my mind and summoned every corpse in the keep to my aid, had a parade down the middle of the courtyard with them. Bull could have tried to defend my honor by doing some qunari battle whatsits,” he waved his hand vaguely. 

“Solas could have just tried to kill me to finish me off. Hawke could have demanded you give Fenris my skull for a cup. Too many loose ends and I hadn’t been prepared for any of it.” 

“Tal-Vashoth now, but he’s got a point. Poorly done Inquisitor, very poorly done.” Bull gave Dorian a long look before he shoved off the wall and towards his usual spot in the Tavern. “Find me later Pavus, let me know you’re ok.” 

Dorian kept his eyes on Lisbeth, but raised his hand in farewell.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian tries to prove himself, the Fade fucks with everyone and Lisbeth will be damned if she makes a choice she can't live with.

The next few days passed too slow for Hawke and Fenris, they were eager to head to the cliffs near Crestwood and find Hawke’s warden contact. They knew only that he was former Teyrn of Highever, previously reviled Regent that had split the country nearly asunder.

Fenris paced around like a caged mabari as they waited the Inquisitor and her group. “Hawke, this is ridiculous. Loghain may not have waited for us all this time and it will take days to Crestwood.” 

“Take it easy love, Loghain can’t go far without us. Besides, it wouldn't’ help them to go in with just the few wardens they have been able to gather. I just hope this trip won’t be awkward with all that has transpired here between the Inquisitor and her group.”

“What’s a little awkwardness between friends,” Dorian said from behind Hawke.

“Wouldn’t know, I don’t have many of those Pavus.” Hawke replied as he knelt to check his supplies again.

“Well we did try to kill each other,” Dorian quipped. “I say that makes us friends in the strictest, Minrathous sense.” 

“Let it go, Dorian, this is going to be difficult as it is.” Fenris said with a shake of his head along with a glance at his lover. “Who else is coming?”

“Let what go?” Dorian asked. “I thought we were friends, and I was being serious.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Bull, Lis, and Varric should be here soon.”

“I’d rather not be reminded of how friends are made in Minrathous.” Fenris sighed.

“Not too much to hope they hurry the fuck up, is it?” Vic said softly.

Dorian waved away Hawke’s question. “Supplies have to be gathered and the last of the arrangements have to be made. Lis can’t just up and leave whenever she likes anymore.” 

“She’s the Inquisitor, she should be able to go where she wants, when she wants.” Vic muttered. 

Fenris sighed and muttered a prayer to either Mythal or Dumat for patience as they waited. 

Dorian didn’t feel the need to fill the awkward silence, letting it stretch on until he finally saw the rest of their party rounding a corner. “Ah! there they are. Thank all the deities.”

Bull forced himself not to roll his good eye at the Champion or grumble under his breath. He was still displeased at how Lisbeth had handled things with Dorian, but that had to be left behind. After he’d lectured Dorian about being a team player, he couldn’t go against his own word.

“So!” Lisbeth said when they reached the others. “Let’s get going, shall we? It’s a long trip. Hawke, this is your journey as much as mine, you lead the way.” 

“We march to Crestwood, and if we have time I want to get towards the mountains so there’s less ground to cover tomorrow. Let’s go.” Hawke headed off at a fast clip, his whole demeanor tense as they went.

Dorian breathed in the crisp, cold mountain air as they passed through the gates. “Ah! Nothing like a journey with friends!”

“And people say I have a hard time telling a good story,” Varric muttered. 

Dorian glanced off to the right at the steep drop down the mountain. The bridge that connected Skyhold to the rest of the world had been cleared of snow. “Pish, you tell lovely stories.”

“More like lies more complicated than any Ben Hassrath tale.” Bull scoffed as he fell in line next to Dorian.

“Maker strike me down for saying I missed the days of trailing around behind you in Kirkwall Hawke.” Fenris muttered as he made his way towards the road that led towards their goal.

“Varric has told us some interesting stories, Fenris. some of them about you.” Lis pulled up the hood of her cloak to ward off the chill.

“Oh has he now? I’m sure he’d love to repeat them to me when we make camp.” Fenris replied tersely.

“Yes, lots of stories about the fearsome elven warrior at the Champion’s side.” Bull intoned.

“See, I left out any embarrassing parts, Broody.” Varric hitched up his pack higher on his back. 

“I see. either way you’ll have to tell me when we break for camp tonight.” Fenris muttered as they started to head off.

“Did you know I camped in the Hinterlands for ten days when I first came to the South?” Dorian asked. “Me… Camping… And yet here I am about to do it again.” 

“You’ll live.” Hawke replied before he fell in next to Fenris and led them onwards. 

Several hours later found them in a clearing at the bottom of the mountain with the sun setting and camp being made. 

Bull parked on a nearby log and started to tend his weapon, his gaze flicked around the camp but fell on Dorian then the Champion, then Lis before he looked back at his task.

“So!” Dorian polished off the rest of the small stew he had helped Lis make, well more he gathered the herbs for her and sliced what she told him to slice. “I believe Varric owes us a story.” 

“Wait a minute,” Varric protested. “How is it that I owe you a story now?” 

“That would be me you owe a retelling of your tales to. Make it a good one.” Fenris said tersely

“Once there was a cranky elf. He met an equally cranky champion. They fell in love and dragged a poor surface dwarf all over Thedas in their adventures. The end.” 

Dorian frowned. “I think you need to have a talk with your publisher, Varric. You need a new editor.” 

“Try again, that wasn’t up to your usual standards.” Fenris snarled. 

“I don’t know love, it was kind of funny.” Hawke said with a grin.

“Look, the sad fact is the three of us, you, Hawke, and me, all have dirt on each other.” Varric pointed his spoon at Fenris. “I go telling tales now, and next thing I know, you’re telling everyone about the time I ended up in only my smalls running through Hightown from Hawke’s place.” 

“Now that’s a story I wouldn’t mind hearing,” Dorian said with interest.

“Yes, I’d love to hear that tale.” Bull said

“Then let me be the one to tell it,” Varric sighed. “Those two wouldn’t know how to tell a story right even if the Maker came down and helped them to do it. They like to get facts all wrong.” 

“You mean to say they probably tell it factually,” Lisbeth said with a grin.

“Yes! Who goes around telling stories and doesn’t embellish them?” Varric huffed to himself.

“Men without a publisher,” Dorian answered.

“I can tell a story just fine.” Fenris said in annoyance.

“Well this story starts out as all good stories do, with a handsome dwarf drinking and playing a game of cards with his friends.”

“All good stories?” Dorian asked with a laugh.

“ _All_ of them.” Varric cleared his throat. “So there all of us were at Hawke’s place, playing a simple game of Wicked Grace.”

“Uh huh, I see. Continue…” Bull said with a smirk,.

“So Hawke, being the astute man he is, was the one who caught our friend Isabela at cheating. Not that we all didn’t already suspect she was, but she was damned hard to catch at doing it. Hawke had finally spotted how she’d lean over the table just so, drawing every eye to her uh…”

“Uh…?” Lis prompted.

“To a pair of her weapons of choice,” he finished. “She’d lean over, every eye would be on her, and then that was it, she’d somehow win the hand.” 

He jerked his thumb at Hawke. “Hawke saw her slip a card out from under the table and confronted her.” 

“That didn’t deter her from cheating after that either.” Fenris muttered.

“Because she and Merrill decided the best answer to prevent everyone from cheating was to playing in our smalls!” Varric said, his voice growing louder. He cleared his throat again.

“You didn’t…” Dorian said in fascination. “Maker, you did!”

“A lot of money was at stake,” Varric grumbled.

“I’m so glad I decided to sit that one out. I was also sober, so I will tell that story as long as I know all of you.” Fenris chuckled wickedly as he leaned against Hawke. 

“So how did you end up having to go through Hightown in your smalls?” dorian asked.

“Because Hawke and Isabela got into an argument over the last hand and which one of them had won. She got so mad, she snatched up the nearest thing she could and chucked it right into the fire.”

“Let me guess,” Dorian said with barely suppressed laughter, “your clothes.”

“My clothes,” he said dryly. 

“Why not borrow some of Hawke’s clothes then?” lis asked.

“Because he and Isabela wouldn’t stop yelling at each other long enough to even notice it. I got so mad that I walked out. I thought I could make it without being seen.”

“Not the case then?” Fenris grinned. 

Bull guffawed at the image of Varric creeping out of Hawke’s place in nothing but his smalls.

“You know very well it wasn’t. Aveline with her efficient self was out on patrol and caught me. She couldn’t look at me for a month.” Varric slapped his knee and laughed. He was just glad he had been able to get out of telling a story about Fenris or Hawke, neither one of them would have thanked him for it. As much as he cared about them, he knew how easy it was to get on their bad side.

“That’s a lovely story but it’s not anything you’ve embellished about us.” Fenris said with a glint in his eyes.

“Oh?” Varric said. “Well it’s getting late and we have a long day of walking, stilted conversation, and awkward silences. I should be getting some sleep.” 

“You know we don’t sleep much, come on Varric, one more story before we need to start taking watch?” Hawke pleaded with his friend. 

“Yes, uncle Varric. Give us a bedtime story.” Fenris said with a grin.

Bull’s eyebrow rose, surprised at seeing the way the three men acted despite the time they’d lost between them

Varric sighed. “All right, but just one.” He got himself comfortable. “Now which one should it be?” 

“I suggest you pick one that won’t get your heart handed to you?” Bull suggested.

“Yes, listen to Bull, it would be for the best.” Fenris agreed.

Varric looked around the eager faces thoughtfully for a moment before he began. “So as I said before, this story starts as all stories do, with a handsome surface dwarf.”

“Does this also have alcohol in it?” Dorian asked.

“Of course, of course,” Varric answered. “I used to part own one of the finest taverns in Kirkwall,” he continued on and pretended he didn’t hear the snorts of disbelief from Hawke and Fenris, “The Hanged Man. I had rooms there, and I did most of my business there. All of my friends knew they could come by any time, my door was always open. I usually had the barkeep save some of the good stuff just for them.” 

He raised his eyebrows. “Broody decided to take advantage of that one night.” 

Fenris arched an eyebrow but didn’t comment. He simply waited to see which story Varric had conjured about him.

“Fenris knew he could come by, grab a bottle of whatever he wanted, and park himself in front of the fireplace in my suite. I wouldn’t bother him, and he could drink without being in that moldering mansion of his. It usually worked out just fine, but this time, he decided to get a little chatty.”

“M’ not chatty, that’s a lie.” Fenris contested.

“Love, when you get a few in you...you will talk to a brick wall.” Hawke replied softly.

“See the problem with being a handsome dwarf who has an open door policy, is that I get told a lot of things, things I can’t tell another soul. That night, I found myself stuck the uncomfortable position of hearing Fenris bemoan the fact that he was in love with someone, and that he shouldn’t be because this person would never love him. My problem was because two nights beforehand, I got to hear the same exact tale of woe from Hawke. 

“So there I was with a drunk and chatty elf, and I couldn’t tell him something that would have stopped the brood he was mired in.” 

“Oh Maker, I know what night you’re talking about now.” Vic didn’t look at Fenris or anyone but Varric as the dwarf carried on.

“This is getting good.” Bull said eagerly.

“Riveting,” Dorian agreed. 

“You would like to think that their tale of love began with Hawke doing something heroic, or with Fenris protecting his friend and slowly realizing his feelings, but it actually began on a rainy Kirkwall night, with a drunk elf. 

“I was getting desperate, because I couldn’t stand to see Broody so damned sad, but I couldn’t break a confidence of Invictus’. So I thought ‘Why don’t I send for Hawke and have him take care of Broody, get him out of my rooms and maybe the two of them would actually talk to each other.’”

“Did it work?” Lisbeth asked. 

“We’re here aren’t we?” Fenris asked as he leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss on the underside of Hawke’s jaw. “Amatus,” he whispered to his lover, the elf’s gaze fond, open despite their audience.

“Only after you threw up on Hawke when he got you two feet outside of the Hanged Man,” Varric muttered.

“So very romantic.” Bull huffed before he pulled himself to his feet. “I’ll take first watch, you all keep up the tales, especially ones where Varric has done something ridiculous.” 

“Yes, very romantic,” Dorian said with a smile. “Now if you don’t mind, I need to excuse myself for a moment. Needs must be met, and all that…” He got to his feet and walked out into the woods. It wasn’t until he could barely see the campfire between the trees that his smile dropped away from his face.

“Stupid, Dorian,” he muttered. 

Fenris was too comfortable in Hawke’s arms to notice but Vic saw the way Dorian had hurried off. “Hopefully he won’t get eaten by a bear while he sulks.” 

“I’ll go look for him,” Lis offered.

“You think that’s a good idea? He’s still store about your...judgment even if he’s pretending otherwise.” Bull said from where he’d leaned against a tree, eyes closed but axe in hand.

“Then you go,” Lis said with a sigh. “Please,” she added.

“Then you take watch, don’t want the camp to be unguarded.” Bull wandered off towards where Dorian had slipped off, not really worried about the mage, but sure he wasn’t fully alright. 

“Pavus...where are you?”

Dorian stepped out from behind one of the trees, his staff in his hand. “Here,” he said. He frowned. “Shouldn’t you be on watch?”

“Traded with Lisbeth. Wanted to check on you, since you just ran off.” Bull didn’t crowd Dorian but he didn’t let the mage just run off from him. “You still love him.” 

Dorian reared back. ”Dear Maker, no. Not like you think.” They were lucky that the moon was full, it gave the dark woods much needed light and Dorian could see Bull’s face.

“How do I think? Your pain was clear as day Dorian, remember...no masks with me.” Bull said quietly.

“I love him as a friend, as someone who showed me what love could be like for the first time. And by you asking me at all is the reason why I know you think it’s something more than that.” Dorian leaned his weight against the tree next to him, and crossed his legs at the ankle.

Bull glared at him and fought to find the right words but didn’t know what to say. He knew, he felt that Dorian still loved the elf as more than a friend but he didn't want to drag it from him. “Very well, keep your mask on then. I still see through you.”

“No… You don’t.” Dorian crossed his arms over his chest in an unconscious, protective gesture. “If you did then you wouldn’t ask this of me.” 

“Fine, I’ll drop it Dorian. Be careful coming back, there are bears around here.” Bull sighed as he grabbed his weapon and started back towards camp.

“You’re the one I love, Bull,” Dorian said to his retreating back. “I left because Fenris and Hawke can tell each other those words so easily. I want that… I want that from you, but I don’t want you say them to me unless it’s something you mean. I don’t want to push you, but I also grow more and more afraid as time goes by…” 

The warrior turned around, his expression something he’d kept to himself as he tried to go. “Why are you afraid? Have I not shown I won’t hurt you? Well, unless you ask and only if you ask, but not like that Dorian. Don’t measure yourself...us against what Hawke and Fenris have.” Bull tilted the mage’s face up so he could show Dorian that he wore no mask, he was open as he’d been in years.

Dorian placed his hand on Bull’s. “My whole life has been spent measuring myself against what others have. As much as I am my own man now, there are certain aspects of life where I can’t help but compare and contrast. I’m afraid, because I know myself, and I don’t spend this long with one lover unless I’m attached. I love you. I want to be able to say it to you without the guise of fucking, without either of being able to pretend that what I said was nothing more than pleasure talking. I’m sick of pretending, Bull. 

“I know you care about me, and some days it’s enough. other days… I want more from you. I know… I know I need to decide how I wish to be happy, in the here and now or wondering about something that might not even matter in the long run.” 

He laughed softly. “I’m being foolish.”

“Not so foolish, you’ve got a heart despite how you act.” Bull gave him a smile before he leaned in to kiss the shorter human. 

“What do you need Dorian, use your words.” Bull asked as he pulled away.

“I want you to love me,” Dorian said in a choked whisper. “I want to know that there will be a future for us past the Inquisition. But I also don’t want that from you unless you’re willing to give it. I’m being demanding, when I know I shouldn’t be. A clinging lover wanting all of you.” 

“Qu---, Tal-Vashoth now, so it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m free to love you if you’ll have me.” Bull replied as he tilted Dorian’s face back for another kiss. “Let’s talk about this once we’re on the road again, or tomorrow when we can have a bit of privacy. Sounds like a serious conversation to have; when we’re behind closed doors and safe from prying friends.”

“Friends aren’t friends if they aren’t prying,” Dorian said with a laugh. He pushed up on his toes to return Bull’s kiss. 

“I just want to know that after all of this, that you will remember me.” 

“Kinda hard to forget you, especially after those tricks you pulled. And you set the curtains on fire.” Bull tried for a laugh as he pulled Dorian into his arms.

“We could set the woods on fire,” Dorian muttered against his lips. He didn’t think he could describe the relief he felt at finally being able to say all that he had to Bull. The conflicting emotions of wanting more from Bull, but being content to live day by day, had been making him a mess.

“Maybe on the way back, pretty sure they’d see us if we did that.” Bull said before he picked Dorian up, urged the mage to wrap his legs around his waist and kissed him soft, slow and sweet.

Dorian’s staff fell to the forest floor, and he slipped his arms around Bull’s neck to deepen the kiss. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of kissing Bull. The things they said to each other with kisses were some of Dorian’s favorite things.

Bull pulled back to get some air, and to make sure Dorian wasn’t about to bolt off again. “You ok now?”

“Completely fine. You know what would make me even better?” Dorian gave Bull an arch smile. 

“Setting the forest ablaze while I make you holler?” Bull grinned

“Am I a bad man for having to think over if I care whether or not I set the forest alight?” he sighed. “But you’re right and we should wait.”

“Not bad, it’s just not the right time. Come on, Lis traded watch so we can sit together for a while before I need to take my shift.” Bull kissed him again, gently before he headed towards the camp.

Dorian, feeling lighter in heart and cheeky swatted Bull’s ass as he passed him by. “Suddenly I like camping a bit more.”

“Terrible, utterly terrible.” Bull replied as he caught up to the mage.

“So I am not a bad man, but I am a terrible one,” Dorian said with a laugh. “I think I can live with that.” 

When they reached camp they saw that everyone except Lis had gone to their bedrolls around the fire. 

“Good.” Bull slipped onto his bedroll and took Dorian with him. “Rest, you’ll need your energy.”

“I am a wilting hothouse flower,” Dorian said with a sigh. “Did you know that someone that I knew from Minrathous wrote to Lis and said that about me? The nerve.” He maneuvered himself enough to slip his boots off and set his staff next to them before he rested half on Bull, using him as a pillow.

“Not a pillow, despite what Krem said about pillowy man-bosom’s.” Bull muttered as he got comfortable. 

“But they’re so lovely,” Dorian said, stifling a laugh. “I think--no!--I know I could die happily resting my head on them.”

“Everybody is a comedian.” Bull griped even as he laid back and closed his eyes. “Go the fuck to sleep, Dorian.”

Dorian’s eyes slitted while he listened to the steady thrum of Bulls heart and watched the fire send sparks up to the starry sky.

“Much better camping this way,” he mumbled before he drifted off to sleep.

“Such a priss.” Bull muttered before he dropped off.

**

“This is not good for several reasons,” Dorian said slowly as he spun on his heel, his eyes taking in the ever present Black City in the sky, and the shifting landscape around them. 

“I’m in the Fade. I’m actually in the Fade. I’m not dreaming, and that lovely Desire demon isn’t here to entertain me before it tries to trick me.”

What they had found at Adamant had been so much more than what they had expected. The army of the Inquisition had had to be called upon in order to deal with rogue Grey Wardens and demons. 

“Oh… This is much, much worse than going into the Fade to rescue a mage kid,” Varric said. “much worse. I’m not supposed to be here. I’m a dwarf!” 

“None of us are supposed to be here,” Lis said.

“No shit, this is freaky.” Bull said as he gripped his weapon and spun around in search of an exit.

“Either way, we need to find our path out.” Loghain said as he walked up an angled wall, his mood tense as he tried to reconcile what he knew of the Fade versus what he was in the middle of.

Dorin dropped his eyes to Hawke’s Grey Warden friend, the one they had come looking for weeks ago. Loghain Mac Tir… Dorian had only heard of him as the man who had been responsible for so much chaos during the last Blight. But he had also heard that he had ended up becoming a Grey warden to atone for what he had done. There were some magisters who had thought that he had done the right thing in taking his army and leaving the site of the first battle of the Fifth Blight, leaving his king and Grey Wardens alike to die at the hands of the emerging, darkspawn horde. Personally, Dorian hadn’t given it much thought. Battles had never really been his area of study, and at the time, the South and the problems of Ferelden’s Blight had seemed so far away.

But standing next to the man, Dorian could believe everything that had been said about him, good and bad.

“There is no path out,” Dorian finally said. “At least, not in the way we came. This is the Fade, and in the Fade the path is only determined by the one who created this space, demon and dreamer alike.”

“But we aren’t dreaming,” Lis said.

“No,” Dorian replied darkly. “We definitely are not, which means any rules I know about the Fade have changed.”

“What happens if we die in here?” Bull asked as they started down the first set of steps they’d encountered since coming around. “This is fucking creepy”

“Well normally we’d become Tranquil,” Dorian answered, “Our connection to the Fade severed, which means we can no longer dream and touch that aspect of yourselves that feels to create those dreams. Dwarves are different because they don’t dream at all. It’s why there’s no dwarven mages.”

“I don’t want to be the first dwarf made Tranquil,” Varric said.

“You’re gonna be fine, just don’t die in here.” Bull muttered. 

“Everyone keep your wits about you, we can’t go to pieces until we’re out of this damned place.” Loghain replied.

“Basically,” Dorian continued, “Is that I have no bloody idea what will happen if we die here. The best case is that we move on. The worst case…” He sucked in a slow, calming breath.

“But you’re right, no going to pieces, and I'll try to not remember what happened the last time one of my countrymen came to the Fade like this. Lets try not to break the world, everyone.”

“Easy for you to say.” Bull muttered.

Fenris and Hawke were quiet, neither of them had good memories of the Fade and neither wanted to be there longer than they had to. 

“Right!” Dorian clapped his hands together, the sound odd in the Fade, the tone not quite right. “So I say we follow Lis. Corypheus has been after her this whole time. This whole place could be a honeypot trap.”

“It likely is, let’s not lose sight of where we are.” Loghain cautioned. 

Bull hung back with Fenris and Hawke, his gaze darted all over the place as they went.

“This way,” Lis said.

Dorian dropped back and matched Bulls strides. “You alright?” he asked.

“No, talk later. I just need to get out of here.” Bull muttered under his breath.

Dorian placed his hand on Bull’s forearm. He could feel the stiff tension just under the skin. “Do you trust me?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah, it’s this place I can’t trust. Come on before we lose sight of the others.” Bull kept glancing around as they walked, unable to accept where he was to a degree.

Dorian stopped him by tightening his hand on his arm. “Then trust that I will get us out of here. I swear I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

“I know you swear it, but the demons don’t care about that.” Bull said tiredly as he trudged on.

Dorian gripped his staff tightly in his hands and followed. Whether Bull believed him or not, Dorian was going to make sure they all came out of this.

Fenris had his sword in a similar grip and Hawke kept his staff out and ready. Neither wanted to be there but they had no real choice.

It was impossible to tell time in the Fade, and Dorian had been correct when he said that the moment they had entered it physically, the rules had gone out the window. to some of them, they had been walking for hours, following Lisbeth through treacherous swamps, a dark forest, or an abandoned town. Others would later swear it had only been minutes, and they had just finished climbing a long set of stairs. 

Through it all, Dorian made sure to touch Bull whenever possible, a physical reminder that he wasn’t alone and what he was feeling was real.

Bull kept it together until they found what looked the Divine, and waited for the thing to attack or lead them further on.

Dorian couldn’t trust his magic in the Fade. There was no test to see if the figure in front of them was the real Divine or if it was something else. But as he had asked Bull to trust him, he knew he had to trust Lisbeth. It was her that drove this part of the Fade, her and the Nightmare demon. 

But she had broken some of his trust, and he found himself questioning--questing himself, questioning her. He kept the words inside, holding them back in case what he was feeling was only the demon that ruled here.

Bull was too wrapped up in not freaking out to notice anything but their path and the creatures that descended upon them. “Damn, fucking...not this!” he shouted before he dashed towards the creatures he saw, axe raised high and eager for blood. 

Dorian frowned and went after Bull, his staff above his head, and magic charging his hands. While he saw elves with wide dead eyes, and their chests splayed open, their hearts pumping pools of dark blood reaching towards him, he knew that Bull saw something else. 

Fenris’ voice carried over the din, his swears in Tevene and Trade were enough to make Hawke flinch as they cleared out the demons that tried to make them waver

“What you are seeing is only the Nightmare trying to get into your heads!” Dorian cried. “Don’t give it your fear!” 

An elven slave, eviscerated by a blood mage crumbled screaming as Dorian’s fire engulfed it.

Bull saw the Chargers falling to his blade, their screams echoed in his ears as he fought on, with a mantra of not real, not real running through his head as he cleaved another version of Krem in two before a bad attempt at Dalish then Stitches came at him. “No...I will not let them die!” he screamed even as he broke through the creatures.

“Bull!” Dorian yelled over the din. “You’re The Iron Fucking Bull! Don’t let it make a mockery of that!!” He didn’t know what his lover saw, but he was damned if he would let him falter.

Bull didn’t respond, he just hacked away at the lies made manifest, he knew if he turned he’d see something else that would haunt him once they got back to Skyhold.

“You will not have him!” Hawke screamed as he let a firestorm loose on the remaining creatures, his rage fueled his spell, and allowed him to end the fight before they were overwhelmed.

When the smoke cleared, none of them could look at each other in the eye. Lisbeth cleared her throat awkwardly. “I guess not everyone was seeing giant spiders?”

“Spiders?” Dorian’s lips curled up in a self deprecating smile. “Lucky Lis. And to answer your question, no.”   
“Definitely not spiders.” Bull rasped as he flicked ichor off his weapon.

Fenris and Hawke looked at each other then to the Inquisitor with matched, haunted looks. “not spiders.” they agreed in tandem.

“Spiders would’ve been nice. Never thought I’d say that,” Varric muttered.

Dorian straightened his shoulders. “Mine are dead slaves that were used in blood magic coming to kill me for not helping them.” He glanced around. “Do you hear that! I told them! I told them what you think you plucked out of my head! I’m not afraid of you!” 

“Who are you shouting at?” Bull asked.

“The Nightmare,” Lisbeth said. “Tell the truth and shame a demon.” 

“I don’t think that’s how it goes,” Varric sighed.

“But it’s true,” Dorian said. “It wants to frighten me, it’ll have to be disappointed.”

“Who gives a fuck about shaming demons, we need to get back.” Bull snarled.

“I’m with Bull, I’m ready to get the fuck out of the Fade, I hate it here.” Fenris nearly whined as he kept his sword at the ready. 

“We should get moving, instead of sitting around here wondering about what a demon might find shameful.” Hawke muttered as he headed off towards the closest stairway.

Loghain just snarled as he walked, already tired of demons, the fade and the things he’d seen. Anora broken and bloody at his feet as Alistair took his kingdom back. It would haunt him forever.

Lisbeth and Dorian exchanged a look. “You have to let them figure it out on their own,” she told him.

Dorian scrubbed at his face with his hand. “Let’s go. You and I will just have to keep our eyes on them.” 

**

They carried on through the Fade with more discussion with the thing that looked like Divine Justinia, more demons that taunted them with things long kept in the back of their minds. Bull nearly tore the Pride Demon in two with how furious their jibes made him.

Fenris and Hawke looked worse for wear by the time they’d dealt with Nightmare a second time, and Loghain was stone silent, even after Hawke’s accusations. He was focused on getting out, all other things were secondary.

Dorian’s nerves were also frayed. He’d spent half of his time calming people down, and the other half trying to protect his own mind. People were so mired in their own fears, their own pain, that he felt as if his voice was lost among Nightmare’s much louder whispers, and the whispers of whatever his companions were seeing. 

Fenris was a moment away from giving in to the whispers, the promised vengeance on his old master, though he knew Danarius was long gone. 

Bull was all rage, fury and destruction as they made their way towards the aspect of Nightmare, the demon and it’s pet creature, that had been disposed of by the spirit of the Divine for the moment. 

Something came to Dorian, something simple. Everyone was so focused on hurrying up and getting out of the Fade, that there was little room for anything else. dorian quickened his steps and walked in the middle of the group. He titled his staff in his hand before striking it on the group. Power surged, and a bubble expanded outwards, enveloping them all. Anything other than those that had already been in the area of the spell, that entered it, would be slowed to a crawl, making them easier to pick off.

Fenris and Bull were forced outside the bubble because of how they worked, all others worked together to thin the creatures that seemed to appear from nowhere. Bull headed right for Nightmare, his anger enough to keep him focused, each hit brought a smile to his face as he slashed away.

As the smaller nightmares were thinned out, Dorian saw that Bull was headed towards the creature whose web they were in. He cried out a warning, grabbing the person nearest to him. He barely acknowledged it was Fenris, just spoke rapidly in Tevene.

“Help me save him! He can’t take that thing alone!” 

“Venhedis, you are a pain.” Fenris snapped as he joined Bull in tearing Nightmare down. He snarled and swore with each strike, each time the creature got away from them.

“The mages need to pin this down!” Fenris called out.

“Lis, Vic! A concentrated strike, right on it’s eyes!” Dorian shouted. He knew the use of a nickname would get Invictus’ attention.

Invictus didn’t pay attention to the use of a nickname but he did twirl his staff in an arc as he glanced to the Inquisitor before he struck the stone floor before power arced from his staff and hit Nightmare.

Ice, fire, and electricity struck the demon. It screeched, the sound inhuman and reverberating throughout the Fade, while it reared back in pain. Varric’s arrows flew, slamming into the creature rapidfire.

More arrows joined Varric’s as Loghain used the shortbow he carried along with blades. He grinned as he made the demon resemble a pincushion.

Fenris and Bull worked in harmony to take it down further until it sunk to the ground screeching in agony.

“Loghain!” Dorian screamed. “Now’s your chance!”

“Don’t have to ask twice.” Loghain muttered as he nocked an arrow before he let it hit the demon square between the eyes. “Fucking demons…” he snarled as Nightmare crumpled to the ground.

“Magnificent!” Dorian cheered. He was exhausted, had Maker knew what all over his robes, but he couldn’t stop the smile on his face. 

“Now, if you could just see to getting us out of here,” he told Lis.

“On it!” Lisbeth hand her hand in the air and the mark on it was gleaming brightly. 

“That damned mark is good for something.” Fenris said tiredly as he leaned on Hawke for a moment.

Without Nightmare’s influence blocking the way, Lisbeth was able to punch through the Veil to the waking world. The second the portal opened, they all rushed through it, leaving Nightmare’s world behind.

Bull half shoved, half pulled Dorian through the gateway, grateful to get out of the Fade. He barely let his feet hit the ground before he slumped against a wall to get his bearings.

Loghain, Fenris and Hawke came next, all three men grim-faced and exhausted from their jaunt.

When they were all through the portal, Lisbeth turned. A high pitched whine started and then a sudden boom when she sealed it shut, closing the rip she had made.

Dorian collapsed to his knees and began to laugh.

Bull was too tired to throw something at the mage, instead he slid down against the stone wall and tried to collect himself.

Lisbeth sat down next to Dorian and wrapped her arms around him. Dorian brushed her hair away from her face and smiled. “Good job,” he told her. “All of you…”

Fenris and Hawke had sat down on the first spot of grass they saw before Hawke grabbed Fenris, held him close as he whispered in the elf’s ear

Dorian flopped back and stared up at the warm sun before shielding his eyes. He had walked into the Fade and returned. He was the first mage from Tevinter to do so unscathed.

Loghain took a spot and busied himself with his bow, unable to look at the others as he worked. He’d survived but at what cost? He could hear the voices of some wardens from the other side of the wall they’d emerged by; but he wasn’t ready to face them.

Dorian gave Lis a kiss on her temple before he gently moved away from her to sit next to Bull. His mind was full of the things he had seen and experienced in the Fade.

Bull didn’t move, didn’t respond to the feel of Dorian pressed against him. He had too much on his mind and he didn’t feel ready to speak.

So Dorian laid his head on Bull’s arm and closed his eyes. He was there for Bull when he needed him.

The trip back to Skyhold was somber. That first night no one spoke a word, the only sounds the fire wood snapping and the forest creatures of the night. 

Dorian understood it, he knew the need to process what they had seen and felt, to compartmentalize it all. Everyone was different, and he was dealing with what had happened in the Fade by writing down everything he had observed. He had a small, portable writing desk on his lap as he used the firelight to see by, his quill scratching along parchment.

Bull wandered past where Dorian had hunkered down on a log with his desk, a quill and a roll of parchment. He wasn’t sure if the mage was up for company, but he was restless, unable to quell the images in his head.

“Hey...what are you writing?” he asked 

“I’m trying to get down everything that I saw, everything I experienced, in the Fade. I’ve been to the Fade many times, but never like that. I want to look more into this when we get back.” Dorian looked up for a moment before he scooted over to make room for Bull to sit next to him.

“Why do you want to remember any of that bullshit? I want to forget all of it as fast as I can get to the tavern.” Bull said

“Think on the contribution to magical study,” Dorian said. “It’s understood that the Fade is a creation of the dreamer and the demons. But that’s when you’re sleeping. Actually being there is different enough that I want… I want to understand what Corypheus was thinking too. what he feels he’s going to find in the Black City. He said it was empty when he originally entered. Why go back?” 

“Ben…” he stopped himself with a snort. “Kossith remember, I don’t give a damn about magical study. If you don’t mind company I’ll sit with you.” Bull stared at the fire, uneasy with all the talk about magic.

“Feel free. And I know you don’t, just as I don’t give a damn about your latest large hammer you swing about. But differences can be lovely, so keep me company please. I have a habit of getting too absorbed in things, and I need to to help pull my head out of books. I think this might be important.”

“Sure, I’ll sit a while. I just want to get back to Skyhold, someplace fucking normal.” Bull grunted even as he got comfortable next to the mage.

Fenris and Hawke were huddled together away from the rest of them, bits of harried Tevene floated out towards the rest of the small camp. 

Loghain had settled on a log across from Varric, content to talk archery in a bid for normalcy.

Lisbeth for her part was content to sit among the others, but didn’t peak as she stared at her hand, the mark faintly glowing.

The quill stopped for a moment,and Dorian tapped the feather to his bottom lip. He glanced at Bull out of the corners of his eyes. “What did you see if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“Not here, and maybe not ever. That...that wasn’t …” Bull’s voice waivered before he stalked off towards the edge of camp, into the trees.

Dorian’s mouth opened a few times before he sighed and put his writing, quill, and ink back in the small desk and put it all away in his pack. He wanted to give Bull a few minutes before he went after him. He exchanged a smile with Lis and wandered off towards the trees in search of his lover.

Bull had found a thick tree to lean against, one that he could hide his face against as he got himself together. He knew Dorian meant no harm, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. 

“I’m sorry,” Dorian said quietly from behind him. “I let my curiosity get the better of me and shouldn’t have asked.”

Bull sighed as he kept his face hidden, to keep the pain from being seen. “It’s...alright. Just give me some time.”

Dorian took a few steps towards Bull and gently laid his hand on his back. “It wasn’t real. I know that doesn’t help what you saw to go away, but it wasn’t real. I… I’ll stop now since you aren’t ready to speak on it yet. Just know that you’re safe now and so is everyone else.” 

“Yeah, just… let me alone for a while.” Bull asked, his voice rough as his emotions.

Dorian pressed a kiss to Bull’s back. “Just as long as I don’t have to go kill a High Dragon with you again,” he said with a faint laugh. “I’ll be expecting you in my bedroll tonight.” He trailed his fingers over Bull’s skin and turned to leave.

The Kossith fighter didn’t say anything, he just let Dorian leave. Once the mage was out of earshot, he pounded the tree with his palms until the flood of anger and fear had been calmed for the moment. He waited until he’d counted to fifty in Qunlat before he returned to the camp and joined Dorian once more.

Dorian was already in their shared bedroll, his boots and staff on the ground next to it. He had his back to the fire and was attempting to block out Hawke and Fenris’ whispered words.

Bull was quiet as he curled around Dorian in an attempt to rest, if not sleep. 

Loghain still spoke with Varric about technique, oblivious to the late hour and attempts of their companions to sleep.

 

**  
When they finally got back to Skyhold several days later, dorian headed straight towards the baths. He wanted nothing more than to get cleaned, shave, and put on a set of clothes that he hadn’t been wearing for over a week. 

When he was finished, and feeling more refreshed, he went in search of Bull.

Bull was in his quarters after his own bath, a few pints of beer and stew. He was restless but unsure about seeking out anyone’s company.

Dorian did as he always did now a days, and opened the door without knocking, walking right in. as he walked over to the table, he snagged a bottle of wine and a glass on a side table and sat down across from Bull.

"You act like you live here, guess that's a good sign," Bull said as he watched as Dorian settled in.

“I’m here often enough, more so than my own chambers.” Dorian opened the wine and poured himself a glass. “I’m also feeling more alive and not a corpse after a bath. Maker knew I needed it.” 

"We all did." Bull grabbed a glass so he could join his mate in a drink. "Think your elfy ex will stick around?"

“I don’t know,” Dorian said truthfully. “Fenris doesn’t really speak to me. Neither does Hawke. Can’t say that I blame them at this point.” 

Bull shrugged, his opinion of the Champion would not help. "If they stay would you be alright?"

“If they stayed I’d have a chance to try and mend things. If they go, then the option would be taken out of my hands, but there wouldn’t be any fighting between us. I’m conflicted. Before you I would have wanted them to stay for my own selfish reasons, now… my reasons might still be selfish, but only to resolve what I started.” 

"You even think they'd want to mend things?" Bull nudged his glass over for a refill before he brought up Lisbeth. 

"What about you and Lis? "

“Lis and I are fine.” Dorian refilled Bull’s glass. “She tried to play a game of politics and was lucky it went off well at all. She knows not to do that again and to listen to her advisors. I can’t hate her for that. We threw ice at each other and now I’m over it.” he didn’t answer about Hawke and Fenris, because he didn’t know the answer.

"And what about the rest of my question? Just gonna avoid it?" Bull replied

Dorian shrugged. “I don’t know. I don't know if we can ever mend things. with my lovers, with all of my lovers, I have strived to be memorable to them because I knew that it wouldn’t last, that one day I would run into them at a ball with their wife on their arm and have to pretend as if we didn’t know each other as we did. But I would be damned if I’d let them forget me so easily. It was one of the few things I could do to feel in control of that aspect of my life, especially after Fenris could look me in the eyes during those early days with Danarius and not have even a flicker of recognition in them. Any pain I felt was inconsequential to them, because they could walk away from me, forget me so easily.

“But in the end, when I saw him again, I didn’t want him to remember. He hates me because of what I did to him, what i helped do to him. hawke hates me because he sees how I continue to hurt Fenris. I have to ask myself, why do I wish to mend things so badly? They don’t seem to want it. I know it’s my selfishness again, my need to know that I didn’t ruin his life, that he was able to conquer what was done to him.”

He took a deep drink of his wine, letting the bitter taste slide down his throat. “I’m a foolish man.” 

"Not so foolish as to want reconciliation. I think what they saw in the Fade spooked em' both pretty bad. Neither been out if their room since we got back." Bull glanced at Dorian, unsure if he should ask what had cropped up in his mind. He glanced back at the table, question on the tip of his tongue.

“Go ahead and ask,” Dorian said with a small smile. “I can see that you want to.” 

"Do you expect me to do that to you? For us to end tragically?" Bull asked.

“I did at first,” Dorian replied honestly. “Now? I’m learning how to enjoy what we have. It’s not a question of if you will leave me, or if I will be come your dirty secret is it? It’s a question of wondering if we’re going to live through all of this. Sorta puts the whole thing in perspective for me. It’s why I told you in the woods that I wanted to know where things were headed with us, but at the same time, I didn’t. I’m not your dirty little secret. You’ve made that plain to me. That’s so much more than I have ever gotten from anyone else. You aren’t afraid to tell people what you think and how you feel. I admire that, Bull.”

"Nothin’ about me worth admiring when you get down to it. I'm in it for the long haul, if ya want me." Bull didn't look at the other man as he filled his glass again

“Ah, Bull… Don’t you know better than to promise a Vint’ forever? We’re greedy and will want the whole world and what comes after.” Dorian sat back in his chair and crossed his legs at the knee.

“Not a Vint’, thought you hated me sayin’ that.” Bull said in annoyance. He wasn’t sure why Dorian’s flip tone bothered him, but it did. Like Krem, he wasn’t just a Vint’ to him anymore.

Dorian’s eyebrows rose. “You’re still raw from the Fade,” he guessed. 

“Got it in one, sparkler.” Bull went over to the bed, still made for a change and flopped face down. “That was fucking terrible.”

“Are you ready to talk about it?” Dorian asked softly. 

“Dunno, I ...get choked up still when I dwell on it.” Bull admitted.

Dorian didn’t know how to help Bull. The Fade and it’s dangers had been a constant part of dorian’s life, even more so than Lisbeth or Hawke. But he did remember the first few times he had entered it consciously in his spells. 

“The Fade can be harrowing.” 

“Yeah, no shit.” Bull muttered. He rolled to his back then started to recount what he’d experienced, his voice low and his gaze locked to the ceiling. “There you go, that’s what I had.”

“Slaughtering your men and not being able to stop it from happening,” Dorian muttered. “Out of everything, Nightmare chose well in what could haunt you.”

“Yeah, really fucking good choice,” Bull said.

“An old and powerful demon like Nightmare doesn’t grow to that size and strength unless it knows its job. You and the others have nothing to be ashamed of that it rattled you. I’m not going to lie, Bull, this will hurt for some time. It’s a last bit of revenge for a demon, the ability to worm their way inside a person and leave a small crack.”

“Yeah, doesn’t make it easier to deal with.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. What you saw wasn’t real. What you need is a reminder that where you are is.” Dorian got to his feet.

Bull moved over but he didn’t reach for Dorian, he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be with the mage, but he still wanted comfort.

Dorian took off his boots and went to sit on the edge of the bed. He rested a hand on Bull’s chest, right over his heart. “I wish I knew what to say to you, what would make this all right. I know nothing will really.” 

It was times like this Dorian truly understood why people were afraid of mages. The creatures of the Fade whispered to mages almost constantly in their dreams, tempting and frightening them to submit. There was a part of Dorian that was worried that Bull might flinch from him, but he pushed it aside. 

“Nothin’ to say, nothin will make it right. I just have to work it out.” Bull glanced at him then back to his ceiling. “Not in the mood if you can believe it, but you’re welcome to stay if you want.”

Dorian nodded. “Let me go to my chambers and fetch some of my things and I’ll be back. Cassandra lent me that awful book of Varric’s to read. I’m determined to get through it.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on Bull’s cheek. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Sure, I’m not going anywhere.” he rolled over to his stomach and watched Dorian leave, his expression sad as he closed his eye and waited for the mage to return.

Dorian returned a bit later with a pack full of things to keep him occupied while he kept Bull company. He settled down on the bed with his back propped up by a few pillows and opened the book cassandra had let him borrow. He placed one hand on Bull’s back while the other held the book.

After a while Bull turned to see what had gotten Dorian’s attention. “So...what is that book about anyway? I still can’t believe Cass reads Varric’s stuff.”

“Would you like me to read it to you?” Dorian asked. “I can’t decide if it’s a mystery, a romance, an epic tale, or all three. I don’t think Varic knew either, really. If anything, it’s good for a laugh as you ponder why the characters act as they do.” 

“Sure, I need something to laugh at.” Bull sat up and tugged Dorian into his lap so his chin rested on the other man’s shoulder while he kept his horns angled away.

Dorian flipped dramatically back to the first page and began to read. He laced his fingers with Bull’s and brought them to his lips, pressing a kiss to the scarred knuckles.

“I’ll have to tease him when I see him next about this. Sounds like terrible fiction that wanted to be great. No wonder he never mentioned this one. Does have a redhead on the cover at least.” Bull pressed a kiss tot he back of Dorian’s neck and sighed. “Sorry I’m not more fun tonight.”

“We can’t be all sex and extreme passion all the time,” Dorian said softly. “Sometimes we need quiet moments. And I think you need more than a few of them while you process what happened. I forget how hard the Fade can be on those that don’t go there very often. I’m sorry that I’m not able to do more.” 

He grinned and flipped the book over. “And yes, there is a redhead.”

“Wonder what you’d look like as a redhead.” Bull said idly as he mussed the mage’s hair.

“Why do I even bothering doing my hair around you?” Dorian asked in an overexaggerated, put upon sigh. “And I look terrible as a redhead. I look much better as tall, dark, and extremely handsome.”

“You do your hair in that stupid way because you think you’re cock of the walk. But it looks better down.” Bull replied softly, as he hugged Dorian to him and fell silent.

“That is your opinion,” Dorian said primly. He pressed a kiss to Bull’s throat. “A wrong opinion, but one none the less.” He laughed softly.

“Fine, what was it you said? A wilted hothouse flower? Sounds about right.” Bull grinned before he tugged the book from Dorian’s hand and urged the mage to lie with him. “Rest with me?”

“And miss finding out what happens to the guard captain in the story? How dare you, serrah!” Dorian laid his head on Bull’s chest and drew the blanket up over them both.

“Read more once we’re comfortable.” Bull muttered.

“Yes, ser,” Dorian said. He snagged the book with the tips of his fingers before he opened it to find where they had left off. “Ah! Here we are. She was just about to confess her love to one of her men. How scandalous!” 

“Save the ser for later, when we’re in the mood for those games.” Bull said absently as he stroked Dorian’s side, careful not to tickle the other man as he read.

Time passed swiftly, and it wasn't until Dorian noticed that the sun was beginning to set and he heard the bell for the evening meal that he realized they’d been curled around each other for hours.

“Comfy, don’t wanna move.” Bull murmured as he tightened his hold on Dorian.

“Well I could attempt to use magic to ask a servant to bring us food, but I think that while floating tea is skirting the line, sending a spirit or something else to ask for a meal is erasing it entirely.” Dorian tried to move but found himself pinned next to Bull.

“Fine, let’s get dressed and go down. Chargers might be worried, not like me to lay around all day.” Bull griped as he released his mage.

“It’s not, so they’ll assume we’ve been doing something else.” Dorian slipped from the bed to grab his boots.

“Maybe after dinner, if you can convince me; use that silver tongue.” Bull quipped as he grabbed for his own footwear.

“Oh? I have to convince you now? Before I just had to show you a bit of ass.” Dorian winked and finished lacing his boots.

“Maybe a little bit of both, maybe just show me all your ass and we can save the rest for later.” Bull swatted Dorian as he sauntered past.

“It is a nice ass,” Dorian mused as he followed Bull out the door. He ran his fingers through his hair to smooth it back.

Humble, you’re not, sparkler.” Bull said as he led them into the dining hall, only to find the others just as sombre as he’d been earlier.

“And back to reality,” Dorian muttered. he took a seat and smiled in thanks at the servant who handed him a full plate.

Bull dug into his meal, his mind running in circles as he looked around the room to see who had joined them, and notably who seemed to be missing. 

“They’re gone,” Dorian said quietly in Tevene before he took a bite of the excellent chicken the cooks had prepared.

“Not surprised, neither looked too hot when we got back here.” Bull replied. “You ok?”

“I’m fine.” Dorian closed his eyes. “No, I’m not. Maybe once all of this is over I’ll go and look for them. Maybe without the specter of death hanging over us, we can actually find some closure.” 

He sliced into the meat. “Would you come with me?” he asked casually.

“Sure, not like I can go back to Seheron” Bull replied.

Dorian grinned and he looked over at Bull. “I’m glad. Not that you can’t go back to Seheron, but that… I’ve been hoarding any gold I’ve gotten. Was going to hire the Chargers to travel with me and protect me since I’m such a hothouse flower.” 

“Not sure Krem would want to set foot in that viper pit anyway.” Bull finished his drink before he gave Dorian a long, serious look. “One condition, you do better about slaves, work towards ending it; with our help of course.” 

“I... “ Dorian looked at Bull in shock. “You want me, Dorian of House Pavus, heir to his father’s seat in the magisterium, and hothouse flower to go to Minrathous and free slaves?”

Dorian thought about it for a moment. “How scandalous! I love it. I was bred to do great things in Minrathous. Maybe I should live up to that.” 

“You heard me, unless you got rattled so bad you can’t hear right.” Bull motioned for more ale as he awaited Dorian’s reply.

“Oh, now you’re just trying to goad me into it. All right then. I’ll do it. If we get killed at least I’ll be notorious and it’ll be your fault.” 

“Dying’s not on the agenda.” Bull huffed. “Come on, I wanna check on the boys.”

Dorian picked up his wine glass and stood, taking it with him as they left the hall. 

Bull was quiet until he got into the tavern, got one look at Krem healthy and flush with good drink before he smiled and gave his lieutenant a bear hug. “Damn it’s good to see you Creme-de-la-creme!”

Dorian and Krem shared a look of fond exasperation over Bull’s shoulder. Dorian drained his wine glass and wandered over to the bar to get more.

While his mage got refreshed, Bull spent time with each of his boys, sure to touch or acknowledge each in some way before he made his way over to his usual chair and slouched like he had never left it. “Now...this is what I need for awhile.”

Dorian sauntered to Bull with his full glass. He took one look at the way Bull had sprawled on his usual seat in the tavern, and went to plop himself down in his lover’s lap. 

“Right, much better.” He weaved his arm around the back of Bull’s neck and propped his legs up on the arm of the chair, leaning back against the other.

“Good to be back yeah?” Bull leaned in and kissed Dorian on the cheek, still a bit wary of too much affection in public.

“I have a question,” Dorian said lightly. “One that I just now realized i haven’t asked of you before.” 

“Long as it won’t kill my buzz or mood, go on.” Bull replied warily

“When you first approached me in this very tavern months ago, did you do it thinking you wanted to sleep with me? Or did I really just look that pathetic that you felt sorry for me? I know you hated me, Bull.” Dorian took a sip of his wine and glanced at Bull over the rim.

“The truth? Mostly cause you looked that pathetic, but then ...well it changed, and I figured if you were game, why not?” Bull replied with a glance away from the human in his lap.

“Ah, the best love stories start with a ‘why not’,” Dorian laughed, genuinely amused. “For my part it had been so long since anyone had shown any interest in me. Not the best reasons to be together at first, but I’m more than glad now.” 

“We’ll get through, you’re smart even though you’re vain as fuck.” Bull laughed. “I’m the brawn, so together we might be a bit dangerous.”

“Love, we are extremely dangerous,” Dorian agreed.

“You’re worse, I can’t set the curtains on fire if I get excited.” Bull swallowed at the use of love, but didn’t speak on it, he couldn’t until they were alone.

“It’s not truly good sex unless something catches on fire. In our case it’s literal instead of metaphorical.” Dorian quirked an eyebrow, deciding to push on something.

“So what do I need to do to become a Charger? I have little money, and after this is over, no where to really call home anymore. Oh, I could go back to the loving arms of my family, but I think with what we’re planning to do, that might not work out.” 

Bull reared back in surprise. “You’d wanna be a Charger? Fucking seriously?”

Dorian blinked. “Why not?”

“You...uh, don’t...really seem like you’d take that option.” Bull said in surprise

“I can take any option that I like,” Dorian sniffed. “And right now I like the option of becoming a Charger. That is, unless it’s not an option at all. I know I’m pushing myself on you right now.” 

“It’s not that.. I’m just surprised is all.” Bull nodded towards Krem with a grin. “You gotta get by Krem’s tests and then you can be a Charger. I’ll sit this one out.”

Dorian glanced over at Krem. “Well… I’m fucked then, aren’t I?” he said half joking. He drained the rest of his wine and pressed a kiss to Bull’s cheek before he slipped off his lap. 

“Right, wish me luck then.” 

“You need more than that.” Bull waved Dorian off before he went for a refill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah no, we weren't ok with that whole leaving Hawke or Loghain in the Fade.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian wants to be a part of Bull's life a bit longer, he wants to join the Chargers. Unfortunately for him, there's a maul wielding Soporati that isn't thrilled with his request.

“I’m surprised.” Krem admitted as he led Dorian around back to the garden area. “You can knock off at noon, for lunch then come back until the dinner bell.You’ll be free until tomorrow. Anything before I get back to my duties?” 

So much, but Dorian was going to hold his tongue. Krem wasn’t going to share easily with him, and their differences would be easier to work out after he had completed his assigned tasks.

“An Altus that can be quiet, will wonders never cease.” Krem left Dorian in the dust and harsh sun of the early day, a devious grin on his lips as he headed for the yard.

Dorian glanced at the plot of dried dirt and he unbuckled his sleeves, his mind already cataloguing what he would need to bring life back. He was also silently thanking his herbologist that had taught him for several years. Granted, it hadn’t been his best subject, but he could manage not to kill the things he planted.  
Krem tilted his head at the mage before him but didn’t laugh in his face, he was fucking the Chief after all. “So, you think you can be one of us?”

“That’s the hope,” Dorian said. “I have killed a dragon with all of you,” he pointed out. He hoped reminding Krem of that would help.

“Yeah, with our help. You nearly got fried if I recall.” Krem grinned evilly at Dorian as he considered what to do to him.

“You have to serve the poor of Skyhold for thirty days, no complaining and if you miss one day without a damned good reason you can’t join. Fucking the Chief doesn’t get you any special passes.” 

“I don’t know about that,” Dorian mused. “Fucking him seems to get me all sorts of special perks. But I’ll do it. Thirty days?” 

“Make it forty-five for your lip. Day one begins tomorrow, with the first bell. I’ll make sure you get a good start, then it’s up to you. Oh, and that’s the easy part, don’t think you’re in yet ...Pavus.”

“First bell?” Dorian sighed. “Then I guess I’m off to bed already then.” 

Krem laughed gleefully as he watched Dorian wander back to the Chief. “He’ll never, ever make it. Too self-absorbed.”

**  
Dorian might not have been completely awake, but he was up and dressed just before the first bell sounded. He opened the door on the first ring to see Krem out in the hall. 

“Good morning, Krem,: he said with a yawn.

“Impressive, slightly.” Krem admitted to himself. “Morning, follow me.”

“You do know that getting up early isn’t something new to me,” he told him. He fell into step next to Krem. “I might have grown up wealthy, but I still had to train to use my power. That does require a small amount of dedication unless one wants to make their family look bad.” 

He glanced at Krem. “But being as you’re from Tevinter, you already knew this.” 

“We’re nothing alike, and do not act as if we are. The only reason you’ve even gotten a chance is because you make Bull happy.” Krem snarled.

“Oh? I don’t know about that. I think you and I are more alike that you want to think. As for making Bull happy, at least I can do something right.” Dorian kept his tone light.

“I can just say no right now, and you can go back to bed and enjoy your precious sleep Altus.” Krem hissed as he got in Dorian’s face. “Men like you and your ilk made my life miserable, put my father out of business. Let’s not pretend we are friends, we are not. and if you pass my requirements you will be a Charger and I will treat you as well as I would any other stray Bull let join. Am I clear?” 

“My ilk?” Dorian sighed. “I do get tired of hearing that flung around, as if everyone from Tevinter are homogeneous. But let me pass your tests, and then we’ll revisit this discussion.” Dorian stuck out his hand.

“Keep it, don’t want to catch a case of righteous prick off you. Come on.” Krem turned towards the area where a lot of the refugees had taken up with their own. Some were sick, some injured, all miserable.

“Serve them however they need until the noon bell, then you are free for the day. Tomorrow we start after breakfast.”

Dorian bit back the retort about his prick being very righteous and gave him a low bow instead. “I live to serve.” He straightened and headed towards the refuges.

“One word that you were snobby, or less than helpful, you're over.” Krem left Dorian with the refugees after he gave word to the Mother that oversaw their area of Skyhold.

**  
Dorian hadn’t realized he had missed the noon bell until the surgeon he had been working with plunked a plate with food down next to him. He had his arms deep in water and was scrubbing blood off his skin. 

Dorian wasn’t a healer, he had never claimed to be, but he did know about the body and how it worked. Magisters wrote most of the books on anatomy, and Dorian had studied most of them as part of his expensive education. He had spent hours assisting the surgeon in their work, offering advice when he thought it would be accepted.

That’s where Bull found him later, curled up on a pallet in a light doze. “Well damn, didn’t think he’d wear himself out in one day.” 

Dorian rolled over and shielded his face with his hands to glance up at Bull. “Ugh… What time is it?”

“Almost dinner time, you fell asleep out here. Doc told me you’d worked through lunch.” 

Dorian groaned and sat up. “I eventually ate.” He stretched and his back popped. 

“Yeah yeah, come on let’s get you fed then into a hot bath. Then I want the truth about today, and how it went this morning. Krem looked ready to spit nails when he showed up to train.” Bull tugged him to his feet and turned him towards the main Keep doors.

Dorian allowed himself to be herded. “I seem to occupy that same space I occupy in most other people’s minds, that of ‘Tevinter that can be used to take all aggression against the Imperium out on’. I’m determined to win him over, though.” They entered the great hall and Bull led him to a set of stairs.

“That may be one you want to let go, for your good. Krem hasn’t had it easy and he don’t forgive too much.” Bull said quietly as he nudged the mage ahead of him.

“Well he dislikes me.” Dorian pushed open the door to one of the bathing chambers. “But I’ll deal with it. Krem can think of me as he likes I suppose. I’m sure anything I say will not be believed, I can only hope my actions will be.”

“Maybe, there’s a lot you don’t know, and it ain’t my story to tell.” Bull replied as he started the first pump he came across while he left Dorian to get undressed.

“Then I’ll have to be patient, won’t I? Ah… the things I do for love.” Dorian padded naked over to the tub and stepped inside, sighing in happiness at the warm water swept over his skin.

“You should join the Chargers for your own reasons, not for just for whatever love you might feel for me.” the warrior said as he unsnapped his pauldron before he stripped down to get his own bath going.

Lisbeth had spared little expense in getting dwarves in the keep to outfit a plumbing system complete with hot water heated below by furnaces. Dorian sighed again in happiness and sank back up to his shoulders in the water.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t joining because of you. But I have other reasons. It just makes sense. Anything I _might_ feel for you is just an added bonus.” He hadn’t missed what Bull had said, and wanted him to know it, his lips pressed in a thin line.

“Don’t be a dick, you know what I meant...I hope.” Bull sighed as he eased himself into the hot water and closed his eyes. “I just don’t want you doing this for some half-assed reason. Being a merc is hard word, live and die by the men at your back, the strength of your hit. It’s not something to do lightly.” 

“Like running from your own father using blood magic on you, from your comfortable life, and conspiring against a man who you saw as a mentor in order to do the right thing, then joining the Inquisition filled with people who will never trust you despite your words and actions? I don’t do things lightly, Bull, not even fucking you. I know I give that impression at times, but I also know what it is to make a hard choice and to follow through with it.” Dorian ducked his head under the water and came up again, swiping his wet hair out of his eyes.

“Point taken, I just wanted you to be alright.” Bull couldn’t duck his head under because of his horns, so he settled for dumping hot water and scrubbing with soap. Once he finished, he turned his attention to getting cleaned up and not putting his foot back in his mouth.

Dorian groaned. “Sorry. It’s been a long day. I don’t mind the work, I do mind being second guessed all the time. Just once I would like to say something and have someone go ‘You know what? You’re right, Dorian. You know what you’re talking about when it comes to magic, the Fade, or a multitude of things.’ I shouldn’t take that out on you, though.” 

“S’ok. Let’s get out of here and have food sent to ...who’s room?” Bull asked as he stood and grabbed drying clothes for them.

“Yours. when we use mine I get complaints from the neighbors and my lovely, silk sheets are destroyed.” Dorian poured some of the oils he used into his hand. “I’m almost done.” 

“You’re gonna hold that over my head aren’t you?” Bull quipped. He also made a mental note to ask Josie to order something for his vain little Altus.

“Well, I can’t say that I didn’t have fun ruining them.” Dorian finished his bath and stood, grabbing a drying cloth from a chair nearby. 

“Maybe we can try that in my room? Really give them something to talk about?” Bull grinned as he picked up his pauldron and weapon.

Dorian redressed and followed Bull out into the hall. “Not tonight I’m afraid. I have another busy day tomorrow.” 

“If Krem is gonna keep you too busy to bang, I might have to talk with him. Making you pass muster is one thing, it’s another to keep you so busy you can’t stay awake.” Bull huffed.

“And if you did that then none of them would respect me as anything more than your piece of ass.” Dorian frowned. “It will only be for a little while.” 

Bull grumbled all the way back towards the dining hall. “Don’t forget, I’m in charge even if Krem wants to be a hardass. I get to draw the lines.”

“If it gets to be more than I can handle, I’ll say something,” Dorian promised. The mood in the dining hall was a little bit lighter than it had been the previous few days. People weren’t as somber and were chatting.

“Fine, I’ll trust you on this.” Bull muttered. He dug into his dinner like it had offended him but didn’t argue with anyone.

“Thank you, love,” Dorian said primly before he cut neatly into his meat.

“Welcome… kadan.” Bull replied quietly.

“So,” Dorian said to cover up any awkward silences,”I need to speak with you, Lis. Your surgeon has been working outside. It’s appalling. You really do need to find a better place for the sick.”

She blinked. “I… I’ll look into it.”

“Dorian worked until he crashed out, outside as much as he complains about the cold. That should tell you something.” Bull added.

“It should tell you that if I’m going to be doing this, then I need someplace more comfortable to take cat naps. Also, because it would make the patients feel better to be indoors I would think.” 

“I could have some of the men erect tents in the courtyard until a place in the keep can be found,” Cullen offered. 

“Perfect!” Dorian said with a small clap of his hands.

“I’ll get a couple Chargers to help since there’s not much for them to do right now.” Bull offered.

“No, don’t ask any of them.” Dorian held up his hand. “As it is there’s a chance I might get some shit for not putting up the tent myself.”

Bull rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything, he’d save it for when they were in his room. 

“I’ll see that it’s done in the morning,” Cullen said.

Dorian thanked him and finished his meal. He waited for Bull to clean off his third plate.

Once the warrior was done, he nodded to the Chargers then led Dorian off towards his room.

Dorian couldn’t help the yawn that came to him when they walked through the door to Bull’s chambers. Although he had taken a small nap, he was exhausted still.

Bull let Dorian in first, then flopped into bed while he waited for the mage to join him.

“It’s only thirty days,” Dorian said more to himself. “Or did he change it to sixty because I was an ass? That does sound right and like me.” He took off his robes and folded them neatly.

“Forty-five, he said.” Bull reminded him.

“Ah yes!” Dorian walked over to the bed and snuffed out the candles as he went. “Forty-five days. He thinks I’m a pampered pet, which I am, but that’s not all I am.”

“Dorian…” Bull warned as he rolled to his side and tugged the mage to him.

“Sorry. I am a bit stressed about it all, but I have been challenged and a Pavus doesn’t blah, blah, blah.” He allowed Bull to pull him into the bed and drape the blankets over them.

“A Pavus is trying to be a good man, and it’s hard. But if this gets further out of hand I will intervene. Unless you fail to keep your word and don’t work towards ending slavery. Then we’ll talk again.” Bull kissed him on the forehead, then the lips gently with a whispered promise to make him scream for him soon.

“Yes please,” Dorian said with a tired smile. he closed his eyes and rolled over. “Oh, what does ‘kadan’ mean? I admit I know shit all about the qunari language. Just a few phrases here and there.”” 

“It means...my heart, as close to beloved as we...they have in Qunlat.” Bull admitted.

“Ah…” Dorian felt tears pricking the backs of his eyes and he kept them closed. “Thank you…” He didn’t trust himself to say anything more, not without crying and making a fool of himself.

“Go on, I can tell when you get that weird little hitch in your voice that you’re holding back.” Bull replied.

“No… No… I’m fine.” Dorian choked. He squeezed Bull tightly, or as tight as he was able to. 

“Liar...a terrible one at that.” Bull replied as he let Dorian hug him as much as he wanted. “If you do happen to get me wet, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Quiet you,” Dorian grumbled. “And I should be sleeping. I have a long day tomorrow to look forward to.” 

“Rest, you’ll be fine.” Bull said nothing as he felt a few drops against his shoulder, and the snuffling Dorian tried to keep silent.

“Big idiot,” Dorian muttered before he drifted off to sleep.

**

Bull woke up before Dorian the next morning but didn’t have the heart to wake him up yet. He knew Krem would come around after the morning bell, so he took the chance on letting the mage lie in on his own. He moved only to grab a book off the nightstand to occupy himself until his lover awoke.

When the first bell rang Dorian’s eyes snapped open and he sat upright in the bed. He scrambled out from under the covers, the hair on one side of his head sticking up, his mustache in disarray.

“I’m going to be late!” he half mumbled, half shouted.

“After breakfast is when you report today, remember? Krem asked me to remind you so you didn’t bolt down there first thing in the morning without a hot meal. Today is a training day for him and he wanted to give you something he could do without supervising you.. But if you want to go help right this second, then I’m sure it won’t hurt how Krem sees you.” Bull laughed as he grabbed at his book to rescue it from Dorian’s mad dashing.

Dorian paused in looking for his robes before he turned and flopped face down back in the bed. “What nefarious things will he have for me today? Feeding the kittens of Skyhold?” he said, his voice muffled. 

“We have kittens?” Bull asked. “ooh maybe you’ll have to feed nugs!”

“Ha, ha,” Dorian said dryly. He pushed himself up and began to get dressed. “At least I can see how the tents Cullen promised are coming along since I’m up.” 

“Breakfast first, or you will crash out before dinner again.” Bull dressed quickly and tapped his foot impatiently as he awaited Dorian.

“Ugh… If you insist.” Dorian glanced in the mirror and began to comb his hair back.

“I do, since I do not want to find you curled up on your side out in the cold again.” Bull sounded stern, but he it was from concern, not anger.

“I know, thank you. I can get a bit… absorbed in the things I do. While it makes for a good scholar, it is horrible for ones health. I appreciate that you’re looking out for me.” Dorian finished twisting the ends of his mustache and grabbed his staff from against the wall.

The warrior just hmmphd as he led Dorian towards the dining hall, his hand occasionally brushed against the mage’s bare shoulder. 

“Remember not to interfere, Bull,” Dorian warned. 

“How can I interfere with breakfast? I mean, unless someone takes the last piece of bacon, then it’s on.” Bull replied.

Dorian sighed. “You know what I mean.” He flicked at Bull’s arm with his finger.

“Not a clue, pass the ham, the one that doesn’t taste of despair.” Bull replied with nary a word about what Dorian actually meant.

“Oh, well if it doesn’t taste of despair then I want no part of it,” Dorian sniffed as he sat down and did as Bull asked. 

“Weirdo.”

“Oh, now you’re just flattering me,” Dorian said with a grin.

“You have a very strange idea of flattery, Pavus.” Bull said as he grabbed a mug of tea as a serving girl passed by.

Dorian just winked in reply and set into his breakfast. He made sure not to linger too long. He wanted to know what Krem had in store for him.

“Don’t inhale it, I can’t help if you choke.” Bull cautioned before he set off for another helping.

“I’m determined not to be late, Bull.” Dorian finished and pushed his plate back.

“Fine, fine. I’ll come find you at lunch. Just don’t overdo it.” Bull watched as Dorian finished off his meal.

“You either.” Dorian rose to his feet, kissed Bullon the cheek and sauntered off in search of Krem.

“I’ll be down around noon.” Bull replied as he headed off in the other direction to find the Chargers and work off steam.

**  
Dorian found Krem on the practice yard, and for a fleeting moment, debating on whether or not he should just turn around and walk away. But this was something he wanted, so he instead cleared his throat.

“You showed up, colour me surprised.” Krem grabbed a shovel and tossed it into the wheelbarrow behind them. “You’re going to weed the back plot in the garden and help plant more seeds, so no one here starves. Unless you’re too soft for that kind of work.”

Dorian glanced at the shovel. “All right.” He gave him a salute and reached for the wheelbarrow. If that was all Krem wanted from him, then he thought he was getting off lightly. 

 

**

Bull found Dorian in a patch of dirt, hair down, smudged and cussing up a storm in what he guessed was a mix of Tevene, Orlesian and possibly a couple choice things in Qunlat he must have picked up from him.

“It’s only a plant.”

“This is not just a plant,” Dorian replied without looking up. “it just so happens to be the secret ingredient to that lovely roasted chicken the cooks make. They’re running out and I am bound and determined to make sure we don’t go without.” He finally looked up. “Small pleasures like a well made meal can make a difference in a war, don’t you think?”

His back and shoulders hurt, and he smeared even more dirt cross his forehead when he pushed his hair back off his face. Still, he was proud of the progress he had made. Most of the herbs had been planted, and this glorious and delicious herb was the last thing he had to do. 

If only the dirt in this section of the garden would cooperate. It was the perfect spot for the herb, but the ground itself was in bad condition.

“Want help breaking up that soil? It’s hard as a rock, you won’t make headway.” Bull offered as he fought not to rub the dirt off Dorian’s cheek.

Dorian sat back and drummed his fingers on his knees in thought. “Yes… I’ve done most of this on my own. He can’t object to you helping with this last little bit.”

“If he does, I’ll have words for him.” Bull muttered as he grabbed a pickaxe and got to work.

With Bull turning up the dirt, and Dorian pulling away the rocks, they got it finished in less than an hour. They stood side by side and looked at their handiwork. 

“There,” Dorian said in satisfaction. “The gardener, or at least the man that’s taken up the position here, said he would make sure everything was watered and healthy.”

“Good, very good.” Bull gave him a smile and nudged him towards the stairs. “Come one, we both need a bath.”

“And I need some food. It’s past the noon bell already.” Dorian squinted up at the sun overhead.

“Best be fast at the washing up, don’t want to miss out on a hot meal if I can help it.” Bull replied.

“Never get in the way of The Iron Bull and his meal,” Dorian intoned when they made their way up the stairs.

“Absolute truth, remember that.” Bull laughed as they went in towards the dining hall. “Food first, then a fast wash before you get back to it yeah?”

“I need the bath first,” Dorian said looking down at himself. “I’ll be quick, though.”

“I’ll save you a seat, hurry up.” Bull didn’t care if he was a little messy, even if the others gave him the stink eye for coming to the table dirty. 

Dorian was back and clean in record time. He took his seat next to Bull and dug in.

“You eat like a Charger already.” Bull murmured before he flagged down a servant for another helping. “Come to me tonight, unless this wears you out again?”

Dorian glanced up at Krem across the way. “Tonight. I don’t think I can go any longer. The work I don’t mind, it’s the doing without that kills.”

“You’re gonna make me gloat.” Bull snickered. He not so subtly nudged a mug of tea into the mage’s hands. “Careful, people are gonna think you charmed me or something. Or I’ve had Dalish put somethin’ on you.”

“Ugh… You’re going to be insufferable now, aren’t you?” Dorian asked in mock horror when he sipped his tea.

“Probably, but gotta admit, hearing that out of you is good for the Bull’s ego.”

“The Bull’s ego rivals my own, it didn’t need any help,” Dorian sniffed.

“Sure it did, all egos can use a stroke now and then.” Bull snorted. “Go on before Krem comes around and thinks you’re slackin’. I’ll have some of that Ferelden Beer you supposedly hate waiting.”

**  
Day after day, dorian did every task Krem set him to. He worked in every corner of the keep, pulling his weight and then some in certain instances. He helped in the kitchen, the laundry, the stables. He worked several times in the garden. Dorian did it all, and he was good at it.

Except for one of the final tasks. 

Dorian stared down at the offending sword while he wrapped a bandage around his hand, staunching the blood that had welled up on his sliced palm. Dorian knew how to do a lot of things, education and his own innate curiosity had made sure to give him a well rounded knowledge of the world.

At least he had thought so.

The armory was proving to be too much. He knew how to wield a sword--barely--but he knew next to nothing on how to take care of a blade. He didn’t know how to restring a bow, or how to polish armor properly. He was sure the quartermaster wanted to strangle him, and at this point, Dorian wasn’t sure he would have stopped him.

“Well played, Krem,” Dorian muttered.

“Finally stooped to blood magic? Or finally unable to complete your task?” Krem asked as he took in the sight of the Altus, bloody hand and sword still nicked. 

“Southern blood magic or Tevinter blood magic?” Dorian asked. “Either way it won’t help me to sharpen this properly. You would think I could since I sharpen my own razors, but obviously not.”

“Don’t be smart, figured you could at least sharpen a blade. Too hard for you?” Krem asked as he tugged Dorian over to a clean workbench. “Give it, Chief’ll be mad if his hothouse flower gets hurt.”

“I’m not that delicate,” Dorian muttered. “I’m more like an exotic species that only flourishes under the right conditions.” He frowned. “No wait… That made me sound more delicate.”

“Can’t you even do simple healing magic?” Krem muttered as he stripped the bandage off and examined the wound. “Maker’s breath, even a greenstick could manage his blade better’n this.”

“Serrah, I’m an Altus. Whyever should I have needed to know how to do this when I could have hired guards to protect my august self?” He sighed. “And I can take away bruises, but I must say again that I was an Altus. I wouldn't have been caught dead doing healing magic. Although I guess that’s the point. If I couldn't heal myself when I needed it I’d be dead.”

“Then why don’t you heal this?” Krem replied as he washed the cut then dropped Dorian’s hand as if he’d touched something vile. “Forgive this soporati for not knowing his place then, serah.”

Dorian frowned. “I was only teasing, I’m sorry. I don’t think when I speak. And taking away blood pooling under the skin is one thing, but knitting together flesh is beyond me.”

“Typical for your kind. Get that fixed, take the next three days off until it heals. I’ll check with the Chargers on what they think of your ...work. I’ll let you know if you passed muster or if you must substitute this task, since you’re not up for it.” Krem gave a two finger salute then headed off for the nearest training dummy.

Dorian sighed again. He and Krem needed to come to an understanding if for no other reason than because they both loved Bull.

Krem stalked off in search of something to hit that wasn’t the Chief’s plaything. He knew he would have a hard time getting past their differences but he didn’t want it to interfere. But he’d be damned if he would let that Altus run over him.

Dorian sat staring at his palm for a moment before he bandaged it back up and got to his feet. He was going to have it out with Krem, for good or ill. Neither of them could continue like this. He grabbed his staff from where he had set it next to him and slipped it on his back as he left the armory.

**

Krem had found Grim to partner with, both of them going full on with blades and shields up. Each time Grim hit him, Krem gave back twice as hard.

Dorian watched from the sidelines before he called out. “Excuse me.” 

Krem ignored him until he’d shoved Grim to his back and nearly dented the other man’s shield before he acknowledged the other man. “What? Said you’re done for the next three days, what could you actually need from me?”

“We need to talk, Krem,” Dorian said calmly. “This can’t continue on.”

“What are you on about? I was in the middle of training with Grim. You’ve interrupted.” Krem grabbed his maul with frightening ease for a man his size. He let it rest across his shoulders as he glared at Dorian.

“Look, I get that you want to do to me what everyone else here seems to like to do, which is use me as a representative of all things evil about Tevinter. But we will need to work together.” Dorian didn’t so much as flinch, even as he was berating himself for being stupid.

“That’s where you’re wrong. I’m from Tevinter, I’ve seen the wrong your kind does to men like me, like my father. I’m not some Chantry blinded fool that believes every fairy tale their fed to make children behave.” Krem let his maul hit the ground as he advanced on Dorian, until they were chest-to-chest; the steel of his armor pressed against the soft leather straps of the Altus’ gear.

“Get it straight Pavus, my reasons for not liking you in particular got nothin to do with Tevinter as a whole but you, and men like you that walked all over us soporati like we’re less than nugshit. Keep your attempts at peace. You pass muster, then and only then will I accept you as a Charger; till then don’t claim what ain’t yours. Am I clear?”

“And what am I claiming that ‘ain’t’ mine’?” Dorian asked evenly.

“A spot in the Chargers, talking about working together. You’re not a Charger yet, and only if the others agree. So don’t claim what you haven’t earned. Did that cut on your dainty Altus hands fuck up your hearing too?” Krem’s voice had dropped lower, as he got further into Dorian’s space.

“I have worked for over a month to earn this,” Dorian hissed. The weeks of hard work, day after day all while walking the tightrope of approval had finally made him snap.

“And my hands aren’t dainty. I might have been born into privilege, but I’ve also worked just as hard, if not harder than most in the damned Keep.

“So, it doesn’t make you special.You came here, in my space to bother me. So don’t get all fucking high and mighty with me, unless you want to taste my maul. I said leave off, and when I get a chance to talk to the Chargers I’ll let you know the decision.” Krem snarled before he stepped back to compose himself, get his weapons and get away from the damned Altus.

Dorian’s mouth pressed into a thin line of displeasure and he cursed extensively in Tevene.

“Feelings mutual.” Krem retorted as he headed into the bar and straight for the baths.

In a fit of rage, Dorian turned and blasted at one of the target dummies, setting it ablaze until it was nothing but a smoldering, pile of ash. He didn’t feel better, and it had been immature, but damned if it hadn’t felt nice for a moment.

**

Bull was mildly concerned since he wasn’t able to find Dorian anywhere in the Keep. He wasn’t sure what had happened but Krem had been in a mood all afternoon and Dorian not being found set him ill at ease. His concern was proven right come the dinner hour.

Dorian knew he could be petty in the extreme when he was in the right mood, and as he sat leaning back in his chair, slowly sipping his wine, Dorian thought that he was indeed in the right mood.

Bull glanced at his mage, his concern grew with each supposedly careless gesture Dorian made. “This is going to be worse than with Lis.” he murmured 

Doran pretended not to hear Bull as he sat and waited for Krem to enter the dining hall.

“What’s going on?” Lis asked slowly, her eyes darting from Bull to Dorian.

“I don’t think I want to know.” Bull replied.

“Stay out of it, both of you,” Dorian warned. Despite his casual posture, Dorian was wound tight, his nerves frayed.

“Stay out of what Dorian?” Bull asked as he sat up, ready to get right into it if need be. “You asked to be a Charger, what happened?”

“This is between Krem and me,” Dorian said quietly.

“If you do this, you know he’ll say no to you being a Charger. Talk to me Dorian.” Bull hissed as he looked to Lisbeth then back to his lover. 

“Dorian,” Lisbeth whispered. “Please tell us what's happened.

“I’ve tried,” Dorian finally said evenly. “I’ve done every single thing he asked of me. And yet he still treats me like… I won’t have you stepping in, Bull. He wants to be proven right about me, or he wants me to quit. Tell me truthfully, did any of the other Chargers have to do all that I’ve done in the past month and a half?”

“No, but there wasn’t the issue of them being my lover or ...being you.” Bull admitted as he glanced away. “Should have just said no, this would have been easier.” 

“No, it wouldn’t have been. This would have happened eventually. He resents me and I want to know why.” Dorian abruptly surged to his feet and talked over to Krem the moment he entered the hall.

“Bull,” Lisbeth hissed. “We have to stop this.” 

“I agree but if I interfere it will shame both of them. I can’t fucking win in this. Should have just said no when Dorian asked to join up.” Bull replied. He watched as Krem and Dorian got into it before Krem could even get to a seat.

“Dumat’s spiny balls, you never give up. What do you fucking want from me? An answer? What Pavus, what?” Krem snapped.

“I want you to give me an honest answer, Krem,” Dorian hissed back. “What is your problem with me?”

“There’s not enough time in all of Thedas to list what they are.” Krem replied, then carried on as if he couldn’t stop himself if he tried. “You’re a poncy git, you’re an Altus, you think you have an automatic in with us cause you’re fucking the Chief. Shall I go on?” Krem had gone red in the face and his hands were clenched in an effort not to strangle Dorian.

“The first two accusations are true, but the third… At what point in the almost forty-five days I’ve been doing every single task you have assigned me, have I ever assumed I was in because I’m letting Bull fuck me? If that were the case, I’d tell you to take your chores and shove them up that lovely ass of yours. Did I do that? No! I did every single one.”

“And you acted like you had an in with us from the word go. I resent men like you, like the ones that put my father out of business. He had to fucking sell himself into slavery to keep himself off the street.” Krem snapped back. 

“Get out of my fucking way before I drop kick you back over to the Chief. Get out of my way Altus, excuse me Dorian.” Krem said his name like he’d stepped in the stables as he shoved Dorian out of the way.

‘And here we finally have the truth,” Dorian exclaimed. “You are angry at me because my father is a Magister and I’m an Altus. I’m not the one who did that to your father. I’m trying to fight against that very system. But my words and actions mean nothing to you. So if words and deeds cannot prove to you my intent, then nothing will.”

“You mean nothing to me, get it right. However, if you pass muster then you pass muster. This stunt though, innit gonna help me see that. Now if you are done, I’m starved and getting pissed off. My maul is bigger than you and you’re gonna meet the business end of it if you don’t fucking stand down.” Krem pushed on, his mood black as could be as he tried to find a quiet corner to relax in.

But Dorian didn’t stop. “This isn’t over. You can’t just decide it is when it suits you. I’ve put up with your remarks, your increasingly degrading tasks, your dismissal of anything I have to say. You’re not going to walk away from me, Krem. You’re going to hear me for once.” As he got angrier, his accent began to slip through more and more in his words.

Before Krem could get a word in, a short, terse order from Bull had him at attention. 

“Both of you stop this shit right now. Dorian, drop it. Krem, drop it. He’s more than proven himself. You’ve been angry about him being in my bed and life for awhile. This ends, now. I’ll be in my room, when both of you can act like adults and talk this shit out with me, find me. Until then don’t interact, don’t speak and for fucks sake leave the pissing contest in the barn where it belongs.” 

Dorian’s lips curled under his mustache. “No.” He was so angry, and Bull telling him what to do on top of everything else was enough.

Bull’s patience ended with Dorian’s refusal to listen. “Fine, do as you please then.” with that he stalked off towards the tavern.

“Would you like to cause an even bigger scene, or do you wish to take this outside?” Dorian asked Krem. His gut was twisted in knots as Bull had walked away, but he was so wrapped in in his anger.

“No, you want to act like this, then you get my answer now. You will never be a Charger. Let the Chief be mad at me, I no longer care. You’re not Charger material and you never were Altus. Now get out of my way.” Krem didn’t care anymore, he’d tried to give the damn mage a chance but he wasn’t really in the mood to play with him. 

Dorian inhaled slowly through his nose. he gave Krem a short bow and turned to march out of the dining hall. He could hear Lis calling after him, but he didn’t trust himself to speak.

“Finally some damned quiet around here.” Krem muttered as he got a plate and settled in. 

Dorian didn’t stop until he was on his own in the practice yard. He suddenly screamed in frustration and lashed out with his hand, incinerating two practice dummies, smoke billowing up into the evening sky.

Cullen had followed the mage out just in case he’d have to subdue him, instead he watched from a safe distance as Dorian blew off steam.

Dorian destroyed two more dummies by fire and left the rest shrouded in thick, shimmering ice. He turned and started when he saw the commander.

“Going to put me back in the dungeon?” he asked.

“Not unless you give me a reason to do so.” Cullen drawled as he circled past Dorian to inspect what was left of the straw men. “What happened?”

“You know, when I came to the South, I knew that I wouldn’t be welcomed in most places. Men like Alexius have ruined it for the rest of us. But I was foolish enough to think my actions would give credence to my words, and that I would be given the benefit of the doubt. It was naive in the extreme. First Hawke, now Krem. I did not choose where I was born, or that I was born into privilege, but I can work to make Tevinter a better place and for people to see it as what it could be.”

Dorian turned to stare at the smoldering dummy. “Now I’m rambling. I’ve had a long few weeks and my anger has destroyed it all, the very thing I was just accusing others from Tevinter doing. Good show, Pavus.” 

“So what will you do now Dorian? At least you didn’t cover half the Keep in a sheet of ice this time.” Cullen kicked the training dummies over to keep the fire from spreading. “I’ll guess Bull’s departure will make it worse?”

“Bull and I... “ Dorian closed his eyes. “Now I’ve put him in the position of feeling as if he has to take sides. I’m a passing fancy, but Krem is one of his. Oh.. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m a bit more than that, but in the end I’m also ass and a warm body. Krem is family. I had made plans with him to go back to Tevinter, to use what little influence I have left to do some good in Minrathous, to change things. Now… I don’t think the Chargers will be making that journey with me.” 

“If I might give you a bit of advice, take it or not. Give Bull and Krem time to cool down. Talk to Bull, then if you can talk to Lieutenant Acclasi without the fighting; then try to find common ground if nothing else for your own peace of mind, and Bull’s.” Cullen headed back towards the hall with a tired wave.

Dorian’s lips twisted in a wry grin. “Oh.. So the commander is good at dispensing love advice, but not taking it.” He heaved in a big sigh and turned away from the ruin he had made of the practice yard to sit in his chambers and think.

**

Bull found daylight had come far too early to him. He laid there until there was a knock on his door, one he wasn’t sure he wanted to even hear. “Come in.” he finally called out as he got up to face his lover.

Dorian walked inside wearing some of his best clothes with his hair impeccable. He knew it was silly, but it gave him a sense of control. He closed the door behind him and stood in front of it, unsure exactly what to say. 

“Well, what do you expect from me Dorian? That was a hell of a scene and now, what am I to do?” Bull asked tiredly.

“What do you wish to do, Bull?” Dorian asked, his voice giving none of his apprehension away.

“Turn back time and said no, it’s a bad idea. Now look at this mess.” Bull replied. He got up and paced as he spoke, his voice tired as he felt. “Krem said you could join, once he cooled off and realized he was being unfair, he left it to you. So it’s your choice Dorian, do what you want.” 

The kossith finished his circuit by his window, his whole body tired from the tension he carried.

“Then I decline,” Dorian said simply. “It was foolish of me to want this, and I can find others to take my coin or my cause when I return to Minrathous. I should not have inserted myself in the Chargers like I did. It was presumptuous of me.”

“So you wasted your time, and his? You’re giving up?” Bull asked incredulously.

“I’m being realistic, Bull. And it was never a given that he would let me in, in the first place. Can Krem work with or for a man that he dislikes so intensely? Can any of the Chargers? I’m the cause of the strife, and I will take myself out of it.

“I warned you, Bull. I warned you from the first how it would be, how people would feel about us, about me. And now it’s happening, and it keeps happening. I’ve brought enough grief to you, I never wanted that.”

“Too late for regrets.” Bull replied. “Think on it at least, and when you aren’t ready to throw fire around, try again with Krem. He’s a good guy, and he’s family to me. I can’t have you at each other’s throats, I won’t be in the middle. So do something about this. I’m ...I need to think.” Bull grabbed his pauldron, his focus on that instead of Dorian for fear he’d lose his temper. 

“Stubborn…” Dorian muttered in Tevene. “I’ll speak with him, but I can’t promise anything beyond that.”

“All I asked you to do.” Bull grabbed his maul on his way out. “See you later, I need to, I need time to think.” 

Dorian stood silently in the room before he too walked out to go in search of Krem, his heart heavy with what he thought he must do.

Krem was in the garden, in his spot to be alone and quiet when Dorian found him. He cracked one eye open then closed it with a sigh. “Chief talk to you then?”

“He did,” Dorian said quietly. “I told him I was turning it down. He did what he usually does and tried to be encouraging anyway. He told me to come and speak with you.”

“That’s Chief for you. What is it you want to say then? Or am I going to be the one to blame for you not joining?” Krem asked tiredly, any anger he had worked out the night before and not to be wasted on the man before him. It’s not as if it would matter anyway. 

“I tried to leave him,” Dorian said simply. “But I think he was so tired he didn’t hear me. Look, both you and I know that what he and I have might not last much longer. I tried to hold onto him just a bit more by joining the Chargers. I wanted to be closer to him, to be a part of his family. I wanted to go with all of you after this war is over and do something with my life. 

“I had promised Bull that I would go back to Minrathous to try and right the wrongs there. We both know that there are good people in Tevinter, people who are suffering. I don’t think I can do this alone, but I will if I have to. But I also don’t wish to be thrust upon the Chargers in order to make Bull happy. It’s not about whether or not you are to blame, it’s about the choices I’m learning to make. It’s about making people see me for who I am, rather than where I was born, or how wealthy my family is. But I’m learning that not everyone will easily see me for me, that i will always be the Vint.”

Dorian smoothed his mustache with his thumb. “What I’m trying to say in my customary, long winded way, is that you have no worries. I shouldn’t have forced myself upon any of you when I was not wanted. I’m sorry for what was done to your father. I used to think that those that sold themselves into slavery were far better than those that had been taken, forced into the life. But I see that it doesn’t matter, a slave is a slave and I need to fix that now that my eyes have been opened. 

“Is your father still alive?”

“I don’t know, hard to keep in contact when you had to run for your life from all you knew. Last I heard he was, but that was years ago.” Krem replied quietly. He got up to dust himself off with a only a quick glance at Dorian. “Do as you wish, join if you want you get treated like any other Charger. Don’t join, you can still hire us at the usual rate.” 

“What is his name?” Dorian asked.

“Vincenius.” Krem replied warily. 

“And he was in Minrathous?”

“Yes, why do you ask?” 

“I will look into securing his freedom if you wish,” he offered.

“That’s alright, I won’t be beholden to any man for what that would entail. If you are done, I need to get inside and work on reports for Bull.” Krem glared at him, sure he was having him on at that point.

“If I mean to help free the slaves of Tevinter, then I will start with him,” Dorian said firmly.

Krem clenched his jaw but didn’t let the vitriol roll off his tongue, instead he turned and left for his quarters. He’d promised Bull he’d try to get along with the Altus but the topic of his family was off-limits, no matter what his intentions.

As Dorian watched Krem walk away, he came to a decision. The thought of it rocked him, but he knew it was the right choice. He strode out of the garden in search of Bull.

**

Bull was in his rooms still but surrounded by the remains of Ben-Hassrath reports he’d never send, notebooks filled from months with the Inquisition, quills, nibs and parchment that he had no use for at the moment. In a fit of pique he swept it all off the desk and dropped his head in his hands.

He felt like everything was going to shit and there wasn’t anything he could do. He was Tal-Vashoth, anathema to all he’d held close to his heart for all his life. 

Dorian knocked on Bull’s door and waited, his normally smiling lips set in serious lines.

“Come in.” Bull called out as he turned to see who had shown up at his door.

Dorian entered and shut the door softly behind him. “I spoke with Krem,” he began.

“And?” Bull asked as he turned to look at his lover, if Dorian was still interested in what they’d started. He wasn’t sure but after the mage had left, he’d thought that he might have tried to break off their budding relationship.

“And forgetting about you and I for a moment, I want to discuss terms for me becoming a Charger. Are the Chargers going to be willing to aid me in helping the people of Tevinter, how would that change if I was one of you, versus paying? I’ve been going about this all wrong, and I finally realized that if i am to do return to Tevinter, then I need to give it the weight and consideration it needs.”

“If you wanted to hire us, it wouldn’t be cheap. Even with being around us for so long. It would depend on how long, travel costs, how many go with you. Krem would be risking a lot so he’d either stand down or ask for double pay. If you’re a Charger and we go that way, then we take it on provided it does not interfere with other paying jobs.” Bull leaned back and stared at Dorian in anticipation of his reply.

Dorian began to pace. “Money is something I no longer have in abundance. But can I wait until the Chargers are near Minrathous, and there are no paying jobs?” 

“Yeah, and it’s a moot point until this business here is done and we see who’s still standing.” Bull sighed and looked at the mage with worry. “What was your decision, Dorian?” 

“I don’t know,” Dorian said honestly. “I could drop this plan to go back to Minrathous, but that’s something the old me would have done, buried my head in the sand and pretend people aren’t hurting. I could go and be with you, be with the Chargers. I could…” Dorian’s eyes suddenly alight. “The Chargers are expensive, yes?”

“Very, but again … moot point until we’re done with Lisbeth.” Bull shrugged and bent to pick up his things. “Is there still an us?”he asked as he put things back where they belonged

“Then don’t pay me,” Dorian said. “Anything that would be my share will go towards hiring the Chargers. When I have enough coin…” He didn’t answer Bull’s question, not until they had this figured out.

“Dorian, I don't’ know right now. Payment is usually one of the things we figure out when ready to start a job. It could be months, hell even years before you’re ready to go back. Can we not talk about this now?” Bull dropped a stack of parchment on his desk, stared at it for a long moment before he slapped it off again. “Sorry, now probably isn’t a good time.”

“This is important to me, Bull,” Dorian said stiffly. “I’m sorry it’s not a good time for you.”

Bull reigned in his temper, held out his hand to Dorian and hoped the mage would come over. “Sorry, I’m...I’ve got things on my mind. What is it that you ultimately want? Do you still want to join the Chargers? Do you even think you and Krem can get along? I don’t want to be put in the middle.”

“That’s I’m trying to talk to you about,” Dorian sighed. He stayed where he was. 

“Yes, the Chargers will help you. If you’re a member, then we’ll take it on when we’re back toward that way. If you aren’t a Charger, then it’s usually ten sovereigns a week before travel costs and if I go, then it’s a bit more. If you want me along as well, as someone who hired us, then I’m an additional five per week. We don’t go out of the way unless you really drop a lot of coin, so if you were to write and hire us on, we’d get there on our own and you start paying the moment we hit your property. Terms and contract are non-negotiable once everyone signs it. Does that help make your decision, Dorian?” Bull asked as he dropped his hands and looked to the floor.

“And about my offer to forgo being paid if I became a Charger in order to earn enough to afford all of you?” he asked.

“It’s not anything we’ve done before, no one has really asked us to go reform their homeland. But if you want to not get paid and put it in savings, we could probably do that. Maybe Ruffles could set up an account to hold that for you.” Bull glanced up at Dorian then back to the mess he’d made before he gave the mage his full attention.

“Then I’ll do it,” Dorian said. “This way there will be no imbalance when the time comes. I know Tevinter, I know Minrathous. If we went back there and I was one of you, then you would be my superior. It wouldn’t be my campaign to help the people, or ours, it would be yours. Does that make sense?” Dorian let out a sound of frustration. “All of this made much better sense when I thought of it. This way, everyone can… be happy.”

“Fine, ask Josie about it once you tell Krem your decision to still join.” Bull glanced at him, unsure if he should ask where they stood again.

A relieved smile broke out on Dorian’s lips. “Good… Thats good. And… About us.”

“Yeah, what about us? Is there even still an us?” Bull asked him.

“I’m obviously not very good at this,” Dorian sighed. “I want to be. You make me want to be better. You encourage me to go back to Tevinter. You encourage me not to be afraid of who I am and what i want. I don’t want to hurt you, Bull. You mean everything to me, and I will try my best to ensure that I don’t put you in the middle of any squabbles that I have with the other Chargers. That wasn’t well done of me, and I’m sorry.” 

Still, Dorian thought that Krem had taken things too far, but that wasn’t the point anymore. The two of them would just have to learn how to work together.

“Alright, that’s good. Let Krem know your decision and starting after that, you’re one of the boys.” Bull reached down to snag his boots, eager to put it all behind him. “Let’s find him together?”

Dorian put a hand on Bull’s arm. “We’re okay?” he asked softly. “I know I can be foolish when it comes to us. I still want to run sometimes, I still feel as if we’re being too indiscreet. But when I really think about it, you make me happy, and I don’t care who knows it.” 

“Yeah we’re ok, I’m just tired and starved. Sorry I didn’t give you my full attention earlier. You make me happy too, kadan.” Bull leaned in and kissed Dorian softly, a smile on his face as he pulled away.

“But as you said, we first have to survive what’s coming. After that, changing the Imperium for the better should be simple, yes?” Dorian flashed Bull a grin.

“Yes, that works for me. Come on, drinks are on me to celebrate you becoming one of us.” Bull grinned and scooped Dorian up in his arms. 

Dorian had never really thought himself a small man, so it always caught him off guard when Bull picked him up. He laughed, feeling more light hearted than he had in days. 

“I’m sorry I make things so difficult at times,” he said against Bull’s lips. “I’m afraid I’m quite a lot of trouble.”

“It’s the kind of trouble I’ll take, kadan.” Bull said with a laugh. “Shall I carry you in like this?”

Dorian snorted. “And make a scene? Normally I would be goading you into it, but I don’t think Krem would like it too much. Let’s be a little bit circumspect around the Chargers for a little while, at least until they can see me as one of them and not just your lover.” 

“Fine, but you have to admit it would have been funny.” Bull let his mage down reluctantly but not without another kiss. “Let’s go.”

“Carried like a virgin bride,” Dorian mused. “Maybe not to tell the Chargers I’m joining them, but I do admit I want you to do this when we go into the dining hall for the evening meal. The looks on the faces of everyone there would be more than worth it.” 

“You’ve got a deal.” Bull followed Dorian towards the tavern and where the Chargers were usually found.

Dorian would like to pretend that before he came to the Inquisition, he hadn’t cared what anyone had thought about him and his antics, but that would’ve been a lie. He had hidden parts of himself for so long precisely because he had cared too much. he was still learning the fine balance between the two, but he hoped that he was in the right path.

Before they entered the tavern, Dorian stopped Bull at the door. “Krem’s relationship with his father, was it a good one?” he suddenly asked. “I ask because I might be able to help the man, but I don’t know if I should right now.” 

“Leave that be, especially after the month and some you both had. Don’t do it Dorian, just don’t.” Bull warned.

“I won’t,” Dorian promised. “I had a feeling it might make things worse, so I needed to ask.” 

“Good, just...it’s not even something he talks about with me that often. It’s something you might have to let go no matter your intentions, alright?” Bull tilted his face towards him, expression worried. “Promise me?”

“I just did promise you, but I will again. I won’t do anything, which is why I asked.” Dorian pushed open the door to the tavern.

“Alright, thank you.” Bull replied as he followed Dorian in and took his usual spot.

Dorian went to the bar and got three of the bitter Ferelden ale Dorian loved so much. He stopped in front of Krem on his way back, tankards in hand. 

“I’ve decided to join. Sorry I’ve been a bit of an ass. You were only doing your job and trying to make sure that I really wanted this. I should’ve seen that.”

Krem took the ale, drank about half down then shrugged. “Well you’re in now, so welcome. Thanks for the beer.” 

“Welcome. I…” Dorian shook his head. “Thank you for giving me a chance.” 

Dorian knew part of his need to have a conversation with Krem was because he was from Tevinter. He knew what it was like to live in the South, away from your home. But Dorian also knew that he couldn’t push himself on Krem, no matter the reasons.

“Yeah well you busted your ass to prove yourself, can’t ignore that even if I wanted to. Chief can introduce you to the boys, I need to call it early. Commander wanted to run drills with me bright and early.” Krem finished his beer, and hoped Bull didn’t give him a hard time for blowing off early.

“Don’t show up Cullen too much,” Dorian said with a grin. “When he’s cranky, Lis gets cranky and then it’s all downhill.” 

“As if he could do that.” Krem replied. “Catch you in the mess hall later Chief.” with that he slipped away for an early dinner and to find Cullen to make sure they were actually on for drills.

Plunking down Bull’s tankard, Dorian dragged a chair over to sit next to him. 

“Some day you will have to come to my usual spot,” Dorian said with a small laugh. “It’s quiet, but I still get to hear all of the latest gossip. Plus my chair is infinitely more comfortable than this.” He shifted on the rough wood.

“Maybe, but now that you’ve joined up you won’t have so much leisure time. Unless we put you to use for your smarts.” Bull grinned before he finished off his ale.

“My smarts?” Dorian laughed. “I can research with the best of them, so I will endeavour to not disappoint.” His smile slipped a little. “But I meant what I said weeks ago. I can get a little bit absorbed in my work. When Alexius had been my mentor, he knew how to direct that, how to feed it. No coming up with theories to punch holes in the Veil,” he promised. 

“Good, that’s all I needed to hear.” Bull smirked. He inclined his head towards the Chargers, reintroduced Dorian to them before he was ready to head in for dinner.

Dorian stood and bowed deeply, as if he was at court. “I thank you all, and I hope that I will be an asset to the chargers.” 

The assembled group raised their tankards in salute before they went back to their conversations and messing around.

Dorian retook his seat. “Well, that didn’t go so badly.” 

“Nah, the boys are all pretty even keel. Unless you keep them from their wine or women, then you’ve got a fight.” Bull nodded towards the door, eager to get out of there and into the hall.

Dorian drained as much of his ale as he could without making a mess of himself before he followed Bull out of the tavern. 

As soon as they were close to the hall, Bull scooped the Altus in his arms again so he could carry him, and keep him in his lap during dinner. “You said I could.” 

Dorian’s laughter rang out as they entered the hall, but his eyes were sharp on his lover, missing little. Bull was going through something, and Dorian was determined to find out what. It was in the way Bull’s smile just barely reached his eyes, and the stiffness of his shoulders.

Bull ignored the cheers and whistles that he heard from some as he sprawled in a chair with Dorian held close to him with an arm wrapped around the mage’s waist. “You ok with this?” he asked to be sure his lover wasn’t having second thoughts about being so public.

“I’m the center of attention, of course I am.” Dorian made a show of sitting in Bull’s lap.

“Just for that, you have to feed me.” Bull teased.

“Feed you what exactly?” Dorian asked archly. Across from them, Cullen’s face started flushing pink.

“Dinner, bite by bite. Unless you plan to make a scene.” Bull gave him a nudge so he could feel just how he’d been affected by the mage so firmly wedged between him and the table.

Dorian slowly turned in Bull’s lap, subtly grinding down on him under the guise of reaching for a plate of food that a servant had set down for them.

“Playing dirty are we?” Bull hissed as he tightened his hold on the mage. “Keep that up, they’re gonna get a show with dinner.”

Dorian slid off of Bull’s lap and took the seat next to him. If he was going to feed Bull, he didn’t want to play with fire anymore than he already was.

“You’re going to get it.” Bull murmured before Dorian slipped a forkful between his lips. “Really, really going to get it.” he whispered.

“Promises…” Dorian whispered in Tevene.

Cullen let out a strangled sound and reached for his glass of wine.

“That I plan to keep, well into the night.” Bull replied before he glanced over to Cullen.

“Bone stuck in your throat, curly?” he asked casually before Dorian slipped another serving to him.

“No, no,” Cullen said in a rush while Lisbeth pounded on his back. “I’m fine.”

“Um hmm, I’m sure you’re fine.” Bull laughed. 

“It’s too easy to tease you, commander,” Dorian said. “Look! As I’m speaking your face is getting redder. Adorable!” 

“Teasing curly takes no skill,” Varric added.

“Now he’s going to make it his mission to tease him and impress you.” Bull groaned. 

“Oh definitely,” Dorian said with relish.

Cullen buried his face in his hands. 

“With that, I think we should take our plates, make our excuses and call it a night.” Bull grinned as he grabbed Dorian around the waist so he could carry him off to bed.

“I like the part where I wanted to be seen as more than your lover, but yet I encourage this behavior. Ah well.” Dorian wiggled his fingers in a goodbye at Cullen.

“It’s been a bit too long since we’ve had time alone, so let’s go.” Bull waved at them with a flourish and headed off towards his room.

“You know, you’re the only man that I’ve been with that has the ability to carry me around like this. I can’t say that I mind it.” Dorian watched the dining hall disappear behind Bull, his arms holding Dorian easily.

“You’re not a little man, unless you’d been with a kossith before I’d be shocked if anyone else had done this for you.” Bull said as he put Dorian down so he didn’t knock the mage’s head against the railing.

Dorian walked with Bull the rest of the way to Bull’s chambers. “Nice of you to notice that I’m not a small man,” he said.

“Oh I noticed that early on.” Bull grinned.

Walking into Bull’s chambers, Dorian’s finger went immediately to the buckles and straps of his clothes, leaving a trail on the floor as he went.

“Eager, are we?” Bull asked as he put their plates down, grabbed a bottle of wine and headed for the bed. 

“Now _I’m_ the eager one?” Dorian quipped. He shucked the last of his clothing and sauntered over to the bed. 

Bull handed him the bottle, tugged off all his clothes before he sat back and invited Dorian to straddle him. “Hope you have something left for me after your busy day, kadan.”

“Always,” Dorian promised. “But first…” He leaned over the side of the bed, arching his body to retrieve a heavy pouch he had dropped on the floor. He straightened and settled on Bull’s lap, his legs on either side of his large thighs. 

“I have something for you. If you don’t want it, then feel free to tell me. Also… Don’t make too much of a thing of it, all right?” He held out the pouch for Bull. “Well it’s two things actually.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything, I … don’t have anything for you.” Bull said as he waited for Dorian to let the pouch drop in his hands.

“You don’t have to get anything for me,” Dorian said softly. “I just hope you like… here.” He opened the pouch and upended it into Bull’s hands. Two items dropped out, a necklace, and something carved out of bone.

“This is impressive, where did you get it made?” Bull said as he held the dildo.

“Val Royeaux,” Dorian answered. He didn’t mention how it had taken the last bit of his coin, but it was worth it to see the craftsmanship in the shaped dragon bone. 

He wish he could have taken credit for getting his necklace back as well, but it had been Lisbeth that had gotten the amulet of House Pavus back from the merchant Dorian had had to sell it to in Val Royeaux when he had first appeared in the South.

Bull held up the necklace, eyebrow quirked at his lover. “Is this, isn’t this the necklace you just got back?”

“It… It is. I want you to have it.” Dorian was finding it hard to meet Bull’s eyes. 

Bull smiled as he held the necklace up for Dorian to put around his neck. “Would you put it on me?”

Dorian took it back long enough to unclasp the chain and put it around Bull’s throat. He sat back and made sure the amulet was facing up against Bull’s chest. “I might be a disgrace, who knows what my reputation back home is now, but my House name won’t be. This can help open doors if the Chargers need it.”

“I’ll take good care of it kadan, I just wish I had something to give you as well. I guess my heart will have to do, if you’ll take it?” Bull said softly.

Dorian smiled without artifice. “Gladly,” he choked.

“Thank you” Bull tugged Dorian closer so he could kiss him slow, easy, they were in no hurry after all. He turned them over as he kept up with small kisses, touches until he needed to back off for breath. “Damn…”

Dorian nipped at Bull’s chin. “Selflessness is not my strong suit. I want that thing in you and you in me. Think about that beautifully carved dragonbone inside you, made from the very creature you slaughtered.” 

Bull shivered slightly as he tugged Dorian’s head back and worried his neck. “You know they...revere dragons. That...will be close to touching divinity for me.” he whispered in the mages ear.

“All that strength and power that you overcame inside you, pushing in deeply,” Dorian muttered wicked in Tevene. He could feel how hard Bull was against him.

“Get the oil, now.” Bull whispered before he let Dorian get up.

Dorian plucked the dildo from Bull’s fingers and went to the dresser to the get the oil. He came back and retook his spot straddling Bull’s thighs. He set the bottle of oil down on Bull’s chest, making sure it was steady before he leaned back a little bit. He ran the fingers of one hand down his chest and over his stomach, trailing through the dark hair encircling his erection, while he placed a kiss to the tip of the dildo.

Their eyes locked and Dorian ran his tongue up the length of the carved shaft, tracing the smooth lines.

Bull made a noise between a groan and a whine as he watched Dorian tease him with the thick phallus, his gaze riveted to what Dorian did with his tongue.

Dorian opened his lips and pushed the thick phallus between them. He went slowly, letting Bull see how his lips stretched wide.

“Not...gonna last long at this rate.” Bull whispered as he watched his lover fellate the dragonbone cock with no shame.

He pulled the cock free with a lewd pop. “You like to watch almost as much as you like to participate, don’t you?” Dorian all but purred. 

“Roll over and spread your legs.” 

“You know I do, fuck the things you make me feel, you have no idea.” Bull said as he complied and laid his head down, bottom lip drawn between his teeth as he awaited the feel of being taken.

Dorian didn’t take as much time as he had the last time he had done this for Bull--he knew his lover wouldn’t have stood for it. So he oiled his fingers and the dildo well before he got Bull ready. It didn’t take him long before the dragonbone was pushed inside him, the oil easing the way.

“Yes, yes…” Bull moaned, fingers clenched in the bedding as he tried to keep from spilling already.

“Can you feel that?” Dorian asked in a silky whisper. “It’s all inside you now. Can you feel how hard it is? How strong it is?” Dorian urged Bull on his back.

“Trust me...I can feel it, all of it, need more.” Bull groaned as he rolled over, his eyes rolled closed as he felt the dildo shift and rub deeper inside him. “Fuck…”

“I have to admit, I adore you like this. You’re so strong, but needy. I like it when you unleash all of that on me.” Dorian didn’t take his time with himself either. He knew exactly how much oil he needed, and exactly how much of Bull’s cock he could take quickly. 

When Bull first breached Dorian, he groaned, muttering in Tevene how good Bull felt and how much he loved his thick, hard flesh. When he was finally seated to the hilt, his thighs spread open wide, Dorian rocked back, squeezing against Bull’s cock.

“Perfect,” Dorian moaned. His eyes slitted open and he cast the spell that Bull needed.

That made the warrior’s mouth open, a low, long moan of Dorian’s name fall from his lips as he tried to find a balance between the hard cock thrusting in and out of him, and Dorian’s weight on him, rising and falling.

Dorian pushed up with his hands braced behind him on Bull’s thighs, his hips rotating in a rhythm meant to drive them both insane with need. Sweat broke out quickly on Dorian’s body, shining on his skin in the firelight.

“Fuck… Dorian, yes, yes yes, more, fuck... “ Bull swore as he was ridden and fucked at the same time.

Magic filled the air, accompanying their moans of pleasure. Dorian then braced himself with his hands on Bull’s chest, his fingers skimming over scars old and new. he leaned forward until their lips were touching, their panted breaths mingling. His hips rose and fell, rose and fell, his eyes barely able to stay open and fixed on Bull’s face, wanting to watch every expression of desire.

Bull wasn’t able to form words, he didn’t try to ask Dorian before he flipped them over so he could pound into the mage, hard, deeper with every stroke he felt from the toy in him.

Holding his legs up and out with his hands on the backs of his knees, Dorian could do nothing but take what Bull gave him. The driving force pushed the breath from his lungs, the pounding rhythm going harder, and faster, and more. Dorian arched his back, the top of his head pressing into the pillow while his mouth fell open. He could feel the rigid control he kept on his power slipping from him, but he was too far gone to care.

Bull whined and gasped as he felt himself losing control, his strokes got shorter, more erratic as he spread Dorian far as he could. He called his lover’s name as he tensed, felt his climax creeping up on him as he pleasured his kadan.

“Please let me come,” Dorian begged in broken Tevene. “Let me come. Let me come. Please. Please!” 

“Anything, I want to see it, want to see you unravel.” Bull growled as he forced himself to watch Dorian’s face though he wanted to bite and kiss the other man’s neck through his orgasm.

Dorian’s cock flexed between them and he gasped out his pleasure, the sound strangled in its intensity. For a moment his hearing went out, all sound drowned out by the pounding of his own heart, the blood rushing in his ears as he came unraveled.

Bull followed immediately after, his voice low and needy as he filled Dorian with his seed.

Dorian dropped his hands from his legs and wrapped his limbs around Bull, keeping him inside him for as long as possible. He could feel every pulse of Bull’s cock, and he groaned, his ass clenching around the thick shaft.

Bull waited until he’d caught his breath to pull away slowly as he started to soften. “Damn kadan...that was, that was amazing.”

There was a faint whiff of smoke in the air, and Dorian jerked his head to the side. He cursed under his breath in Tevene and put out the small fire in the corner of the room with a bit of ice.

“Sorry,” he croaked, his voice shot.

“Don’t ever apologize for sex that makes you do that.” Bull moaned as he rolled to his side. “Spell, you can stop the spell any time now...sensitive.”

“Sorry,” Dorian muttered again. The spell cut off and he helped Bull ease the phallus out.

“Thanks, when I can move I’ll clean us up.” Bull muttered.

That ended up being an hour later. The lethargy of post sex, coupled with the warmth of each others’ bodies had them both reluctant to move. But eventually, Dorian became all too aware that they needed to get up and get cleaned off so he pushed away from Bull and the bed with an irritated groan to make his way over to the water basin. He cleaned himself off carefully and then went to go help Bull do the same.

The kossith fighter mumbled thanks as he felt his lover clean him off and nudge him over once more to get his front. “Thanks, meant to get up sooner and do that for us.”

“Your bed is just too comfortable,” Dorian pointed out. He took the flannels away and rinsed them out before he walked back into the bed.

“Yeah, let’s pull the top sheet then actually go to bed.” Bull said tiredly.

Together they managed that much before they both collapsed back in the bed, their limbs entangling around each other.

“Keep fucking like that, I’ll be too tired to go around with Lis.” Bull said as he tugged Dorian to him and sighed. “Feeling better about things now that you and Krem are kind of square?”

Dorian pressed a finger to Bull’s lips. “I am, but let’s not talk about it right now. It’s been a long few days for both of us.”

“Alright, you get this one.” Bull carded his fingers through his mages hair slow and easy, a languid grin on his face. “You ever let it grow out?”

“No,” Dorian said flatly, but with a smile to let Bull know he wasn’t angry.

“Touchy little Altus, maybe I think it would look good longer.” Bull teased back.

“You only want it longer so that you can have more to hold onto,” Dorian said dryly. “But if put that way, maybe I will consider it.” 

“Do as you wish with your hair, kadan, I was just curious.” Bull replied with a smirk. “You’d never forgive me if I tugged too hard on those dark curls of yours.”

“Well they are perfection.” Dorian pressed a kiss to Bull’s chest, tracing the inked lines of his lover’s tattoo lazily with his tongue. 

“Insatiable aren’t you?” Bull moaned softly. 

“Usually, but I think you might have broken me for at least a few more hours. You’ve also ruined me for other men, so you’re stuck with me now I’m afraid.” 

Dorian played with the amulet, running his fingers over the finely etched metal. “I do love you. More than I thought was possible really.”

“I love you too...Dorian.” Bull pulled him close for a gentle kiss before he lost himself to the swell he felt in his heart.

Dorian’s breathing hitched. He had known--Bull had shown him in so many ways--but hearing the words had been so important to him. 

For a moment, Dorian closed his eyes, and allowed himself to be happy and be in the now. The rest could come later.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was going to be Dorian/Fenris, but it worked its way to being Dorian/Bull, with mentions of past Dorian/Leto. We've used psikitty's Lisbeth Trevelyan, and cypher's Invictus Hawke. Because Hawke leaving Fenris behind for his own good wasn't going to happen with those two.


End file.
